individually wrapped slices

2011-09-16T21:35:00.002-04:00

I'm conservative (fiscally conservative dont give a shiat really about a lot of the social issues ...). Kill me. But I'd vote for a Democrat if they convince me.

I am watching the debates (on my DVR) ... the CNN/Tea Party debate.

I like:
- Herman Cain: a little over his head; I would prefer him to run for Senate. I think he could do it now.
- Newt Gingrich: he has strong vision. I like that he will talk specifics and is so familiar with Congress and how things work
- Ron Paul: he just sounds so crazy sometimes
- Jon Huntsman: (Who was a surprise, I really didn't know who he was beforehand).

Mitt Romney looks presidential.

This is all.
Now you know.

COOL STORY SIS

2011-08-31T23:53:00.000-04:00

I sat behind this real popular guy in one of my high school classes and I said something funny out loud and then he turned around and said something even funnier! And I was supposed to snicker and let it go. So I politely laughed. 20 seconds later, I think about it and was like "dayum, that's super funny. I think I'm going to laugh out loud again even though the moment has clearly passed. Maybe this will be our inside joke thing or a lifelong friendship will blossom or something. Yes, I'll sign your yearbook. Remember that time in Mr. Casas class? Yeah, how could i forget?" And I laughed out again. Everyone involved in the experience has moved on. But Im just starting apparently and have got on the roller coaster [of Laughter]; I'm heading into the first loop. I stopped laughing really fast because I cannot lose my cool, right? Social suicide. I mean, popular guys talk to me all the time. I think I see a 2nd loop. OMG they just took my picture did I have a stupid face? WEEEEEEEE LAUGHING OUT LOUD WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS LISTENING TO MR CASAS IS CRAAAAZYYY. [Why is muffling laughter SO hard? How can I laugh at the same time I'm cursing myself?! These questions still haunt me all these years later. You would think momentary self hatred could stop a giggle. False.] I ended up having to hide my head in the pit of my elbow on my desk, pretending to sleep or something. My laughter was muffled but you could tell I was still laughing because my back was moving up and down and I was still making a sound like this fucking cartoon dog.

I think the guy even turned around and was like "it was not that funny."

OMG IM LAUGHING AGAIN ABOUT THIS BRB HIDE MY HEAD IN SHAME.

Things I am conservative about

2011-08-16T12:52:00.000-04:00

I grew up conservative. But I'm finding the Republican party and, moreso, the whole finger pointing system that plagues our government extremely distasteful; it doesn't fix the problem and it creates unnecessary strife.

I'm reading Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrel and I tend to agree with the excerpt I'm about to post than disagree. I see his gripe in the manufacturing world a lot - upper management creating rules without the advice of the people closer to the product (not at my company ... but this is a well known attribute of bad management - not listening to your workforce). Upper management determines quality of the product, end of story. They can blame the guys working on the machinery and putting the materials together. And those guys make mistakes, don't get me wrong. But their mistakes are very micro. Upper management mistakes have a long reach. The guys lugging the chemicals around don't determine the type of materials they receive to make the product (power of the purse) or how they should put the materials together. And the guys with grease up to their elbows don't determine the machinery they are able to use. This is determined by upper management.

The one thing that sits wrong with the following excerpt would be the higher chance of killing civilians. And I guess that's one of the many reasons war is war. I'm sure there's an optimal middle that can be found between the safety of our military, the safety of civilians in nations of unrest, and the capture and removal of bad guys.

So here is a long excerpt from Lone Survivor.

It's been an insidious progression, the criticisms of the US Armed Forces from politicians and from the liberal media, which knows nothing of combat, nothing of our training, and nothing of the mortal dangers we face out there on the front line. Each of the six of us in that aircraft en route to Afghanistan had constantly in the back of our minds the ever-intrusive rules of engagement.

These are drawn up for us to follow by some politician sitting in some distant committee room in Washington, DC. And that's a very long way from the battlefield, where a sniper's bullet can blast your head, where the slightest mistake can cost your life, where you need to kill your enemy before he kills you.

And these ROE are very specific: we may not open fire until we are fired upon or have positively identified our enemy and have proof of his intentions. Now, that's all very gallant. But how about a group of US soldiers who have been on patrol for several days; have been fired upon; have dodged rocket-propelled grenades and homemade bombs; have sustained casualties; and who are very nearly exhausted and maybe slightly scared?

How about when a bunch of guys wearing colored towels around their heads and brandishing AK-47s come charging over the horizon straight toward you? Do you wait for them to start killing your team, or do you mow the bastards down before they get a chance to do so?

That situation might look simple in Washington, where the human rights of terrorists are often given high priority. And I am certain liberal politicians would defend their position to the death. Because every knows liberals have never been wrong about anything. You can ask them. Anytime.

However, from the standpoint of the US combat soldier, Ranger, SEAL, Green Beret, or whatever, those ROE represent a very serious conundrum. We understand we must obey them because they happen to come under the laws of the country we are sworn to serve. But they represent a danger to us....

I can say from firsthand experience that those rules of engagement cost the lives of three of the finest US Navy SEALs who have ever served....

I am hopeful that one day soon, the US government will learn that we can be trusted. We know about bad guys, what they do, and, often, who they are. The politicians have chosen to send us into battle, and that's our trade. We do what's necessary. And in my view, once those politicians have elected to send us out to do what 99.9 percent of the country would be terrified to undertake, they should get the hell out of the way and stay there.

The entire business of modern war crimes, as identified by teh liberal wings of politicas and the media, began in Iraq and has been running downhill every since. Everyone's got to have his little hands in it, blathering on about the public's right to know.

Well, in the view of most Navy SEALs, the public does not have that right to know, not if it means placing our lives in unnecessary peril because someone in WAshington is driving himself mad worying about the human rights of some cold-hearted terrorist fanatic who would kill us as soon as look at us, as wlel as any other American at whom he could point that wonky old AK of his.

...

I promise you, every insurgent, freedom fighter, and stray gunman in Iraq who we arrested knew the ropes, knew that the way out was to announce he had been tortured by the Americans, ill treated, or prevented from reading the Koran or eating his breakfast or watching the television. They all knew al-Jazeera, the Arab broadcasters, would pick it up, and it would be relayed to the USA, where the liberal media would joyfully accuse all of us of being murderers or barbarians or something. Those terrorist organizations laugh at the US media, and they know exactly how to use the system against us.

...

I am not a political person, and as a Navy SEAL I am sworn to defend my country and carry out the wishes of my commander in chief, the president of the United States, whoever he may be, Republican or Democrat. I am a patriot; I fight for the USA and for my home state of Texas [shocker]. I simply do not want to see some of the best young men in the country hesitating to join the elite branches of the US Armed Services because they're afraid they might be accused of war crimes by their own side, just for attacking the enemy.

And I know one thing for certain. If I ever rounded a mountainside in Afghanistan and came face to face with Osama bin Laden, the man who masterminded the vicious, unprovoked attack on my country, killing 2,752 innocent American civilians in New York on 9/11, I'd shoot him dead, in cold blood.

At which point, urged on by an outraged American media, the millitary would probably incarcerate me under the jail, never mind in it. And then I'd be charged with murder.

Tell you what. I'd still shoot the sonofabitch.

Sh.I.L.At

2011-08-12T19:42:00.000-04:00

Shit Im Looking At

Ron Paul

and last, but not least

Pi Mile route at Ga Tech that I won't be able to run on for awhile because I have EXTENSOR TENDONITIS. Anyways, it's 3.14 miles and called the Pi Mile.

Newt Gingrich at the GOP debate talking about how stupid the 1.2 trillion dollar congressional super committee is. BEST

MT EDEN DUBSTEP STILL ALIVE

God, mom is posting on the internet again.

2011-06-17T22:33:00.000-04:00

This is on CSI Crime Scene Investigation's facebook page

She's 60 something. I'm proud she can do what she does!

Texts from my mom

2011-05-23T12:49:00.002-04:00

WORD.FOR.WORD
Text 1: Niki I need to change that picture if I can on my world war 11 site . Some people on facebook say they don't like it because it is Hitler doing the SS salute. Mom
Text2: Some people think I'm a Nazi sympathizer.mom

gpoy

2011-03-16T17:03:00.000-04:00

like, we can hang out but i'll be unfulfilled and shiz on the inside.

we we we so excited

2011-03-16T16:31:00.000-04:00

tumbledore asked: I think I saw you mention that you're Mormon. What are your thoughts on Prop 8?

2011-03-16T15:53:00.000-04:00

Recently someone asked me this question in my tumblr ask box. FEEL FREE TO AXE ME QUESTIONS BTW. Since I wrote more than 300 characters and more LDS people read this blog ... I thought I'd post here too.

I try to focus my energy and intensity on a few things and Prop 8, gay rights really aren’t a huge “cause” of mine. I try not to stress myself out over things I have little control over and don’t impact me to a great deal (gay marriage, abortion, etc).

Currently I’m leaning more towards gay couples being allowed to marry for two reasons:
1. Social pressure (I'd be lying if I didnt acknowledge this)
2. Gay couples should be allowed to freely adopt children.

But one side of this argument that really holds me back would be the ability of churches to be able to refuse a gay couple from marrying within their walls. If churches would be able to do so, then I’d support the legalization of gay marriage. If not, then I would have to favor something closer to a civil union than marriage.

There needs to be respect across both sides of the issue. Certain sects of Christianity need to respect and realize the sexual realities of the world. But as for the ACLU marching into some Baptist church and suing it for a civil discrimination because said church refuses to perform gay marriages is just as uncompassionate as the other side of the fence.

I believe gay couples deserve more than theyre getting now. I’m just not familiar enough with the legal system and the true repercussions of fully legalizing gay marriage to speak about this intelligibly so I keep most of this stuff to myself. Again, I dont really care enough to really seek out an answer. It’s not an easy Google search. Most of the information that I browse is highly biased and I refuse to make a final choice based on opinions parading around as fact.

Ultimately, forbidding gays/homosexuals to marry will fall out of favor with public opinion and legalization of gay marriage will happen and there’s nothing to be done about it.

An example of an issue that might rile me up - I don’t think The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints should have gotten involved (financially) with the whole Prop 8 thing in California. I don’t like it when churches get involved in political (and ESPECIALLY scientific) disputes with the community. I was told the Church did not use tithes and fast offerings for this endeavor and that’s really the only reason I still have a shred of respect for the religious institution. And if you look at an actual LDS tithe slip, you can apporpriate where the money goes...

Enjoy

Luke 5: 36-38 don't put new wine in old wineskin

2011-01-31T19:53:00.000-05:00

36 And he spake also a parable unto them; No man putteth a piece of a new garment upon an old; if otherwise, then both the new maketh a rent, and the piece that was taken out of the newaagreeth not with the old.

37 And no man putteth new wine into old bottles; else the new wine will burst the abottles, and be spilled, and the bottles shall perish.

38 But new wine must be put into new bottles; and both are preserved.

I was reading this book by this psychotherapist M Scott Peck (Civility Rediscovered) and the author was talking about how if one person in a relationship gets help with something then the relationship must change or the relationship will "fail" (the couple might sludge through it ... but it won't be a "healthy" relationship). And in the footnotes he linked this idea to scripture in Luke 5.

I have a hard time with reading the scriptures because I feel like I just don't relate to a lot of them. But when I hear parables told in modern day story fashion, I find the scriptures resonate with me better.

Julia, the cat

2010-12-29T01:18:00.000-05:00

the bitch was staring at me and she's on my lap so that puts her face like 2 inches away from mine. and I KNOW she wants to rub her nose against my chin and proceed to rub the rest of her face against my face. and i'm already breaking out from that mcdonalds two days ago. and its like her nose is wet and gets my face wet and then she rubs her furry face where her wet nose just was and now I have cat snot and shedding fur around places on my face that i typically prefer to breath out of.

and so this feline looked at me and i had to cough and i didnt turn away and i ended up coughing in her face.

dont feel bad for her. she would have done the saaaammmme exact thing to me. i cant even count on all my digits (toes included) how many times my face has been the receptacle of dog/cat sneeze.

little known fact

2010-12-28T14:53:00.000-05:00

i like peeling oranges.

i find it really relaxing to do while watching a movie. there's just something calming about it.

i wish i could peel oranges while reading a book. i think i'd read more if i could.

currently watching: Winter's Bone
which reminds me of mom's side of the family, a lot.
peeled: 2 oranges

I need some glasses.

2010-12-21T09:43:00.002-05:00

Chip and I were talking about lasik and how we've heard good things but, on the other hand, we've heard bad things too.

Me: I'll get lasik when I'm 50 years old and have nothing to live for.

Chip: No, you'll get lasik when you're 50 years old and you realize you have nothing to live for.

Ha! I love Chip.

picture tuesday

2010-12-21T09:25:00.000-05:00

There's a few things wrong with this picture. The kitchen color scheme. There is that guy wearing the sleeveless t-shirt in a not ironic way. Not to mention the fire hazard of the paper towels sitting on the stove.

Do you see that one cat (kind of closer to the man) staring straight into the camera?
I can't tell if it's a plea for help or if the cat actually likes being there and is giving us a I know I'm in a sea of fools take over the world look.

never trust a big butt and a smile.

2010-12-21T09:14:00.000-05:00

If I met this guy in a foreign country and he was a murderer, I would probably be murdered bc I would trust him.

direction of energy

2010-12-21T01:44:00.002-05:00

talking more about the senses....

i don't want to downplay the senses as these five narrow slits our physical body has as tools to observe the world with. the senses are very important.

but i still think they can be distractions. and not just distractions from our spiritual self but also distractions from one another.

in yoga one of the yamas is brahmacharya. its strictest form is complete celibacy. i'm not sure of the full scope of brahmacharya but something always stressed seemed to be that yogis didn't want men wasting their male energy through ejaculation.

that is a little overboard to me but i do think there is a lesson to learn about direction of energy and maybe how you use your time [and perhaps another one on moderation as well, fellas]. [tyson lost a lot of fights when he was whorin it up].

i'm focusing more on direction of energy. if you want to really stress something, you minimize other things. compare/contrast. creatures of comparison as a coworker puts it.

if i want to taste something better, i might turn off the tv.

if i need to see better while i'm driving, i turn off the radio. (a lot of people do this when they're lost)

if i want to hear what someone is saying, i shut my mouth and stop thinking of the next thing to say.

if i need to tell someone something, i stop whatever else i'm doing.

if i want to feel, i close my eyes.

manage your body. you only have so much attention to divert.

still learning

2010-12-21T01:15:00.000-05:00

I don't talk a lot about teaching yoga or yoga philosophy. Mainly because I don't know wtf I'm talking about half the time because I have 75% of the beginning of the idea and I don't quite understand the end. Or I have a hard time transitioning from the base to the final result of the thought.

But I am starting to understand how our senses can be distractions. And how they can mislead us at times even. You think your eyes and your hands and your ears ARE reality. And I'm saying they can obfuscate truth.

Take for instance your eyes. Without getting too much into the science part of it (see also: "mainly because I don't know wtf I'm talking about half the time ...), your brain is presenting something different than what your eyes actually see.
I've read that we "learn" to see just like we learn to walk. Our brains form images based on pattern recognition. Pattern recognition is why car drivers run over bicyclists or motorcyclists. We just aren't used to seeing them on the road so when they are on the road . . . we just dont see them.
Also, your eyes can only see about 2 degrees of your view clearly. The eyes are constantly scanning to send the brain a sharper idea of what's going on. You get a clear picture of everything from the brain flipping, rotating and putting everything in a nice little package for you.
Just the definition of optical illusions should tell you the eyes can only do so much with reality. [There's even a theory out there saying our brains are actually "perceiving the future" since there's a 1/10th lag in the eyes seeing and the brain making it into an actual image.]
Even if I'm wrong about the eyes, most people would agree that a large part of what we see is actually our brain's interpretation of eye data.

This is why I hardly write about these things. I just get all wordy and complicated and it's not very eloquent.

My senses convey my reality but not the reality. Images ... our visual reality ... is constructed within.

The life lesson for me is that I try not to assume I know everything. And so I think it's nice to close the eyes sometimes.

Back to yoga ...
At the end of every yoga class, I ask everyone to close their eyes. From doing this small action, their breath softens and their mind slows down.
I had an aha! moment (See also: Oprah) during yoga when I closed my eyes. I have always been told I was a spiritual being in church and by mom. But it was while my eyes were closed where I actually felt the strongest affirmation of a spiritual being stirring inside me.

The eyes remind us of a lot of truths. But I think they distract us from a few as well.

I'm reading a book.

2010-11-23T19:57:00.001-05:00

I'm reading The History Of Love by Nicole Krauss. She's married to Jonathan Safran Foer. I had no clue. He's the more famous author and I'm reading his wife's work without ever have read his.

Anyways, here's some word for word excerpts or something like it.

At times I believed that the last page of my book and the last page of my life were one and the same, that when my book ended I’d end, a great wind would sweep through my rooms carrying the pages away, and when the air cleared of all those fluttering white sheets the room would be silent, the chair where I sat empty.

There were rumors of unfathomable things, and because we couldn't fathom them we failed to believe them, until we had no choice and it was too late.

What is larger than life? To sit in the front row and look up at a beautiful girl’s face two stories high and have the vibrations of her voice massaging your legs is to be reminded of the size of life. So I sit in the front row. If I leave with a crick in my neck and a fading hard-on it was a good seat. I’m not a dirty man, I’m a man who wanted to be as large as life.

There are passages of my book I know by heart.

By heart, this is not an expression I use lightly.

/quotes

I love the last one. Taking something we say quite a bit "I know this song by heart!" and dissecting the words to their actual meaning. "by heart" "know" "we"
I don't know what I'm really trying to say. I feel like my head is filled with half thoughts or almost there thoughts most of the time.
All of the time.

kthxbye

steal this look

2010-11-23T19:44:00.000-05:00

But what about the belt? What about the belt . . .

Watching football w my stepdad and mom yells this from her bedroom

2010-11-22T01:09:00.003-05:00

Me: wow, Michael Turner has a big ass.

Stepdad: all muscle. there was a football player that had 36 inch thighs.

Mom (from the bedroom): 36 inch penis?! I saw a sideshow at the circus where the guy had a 20 in long penis.

MY HAIKU: the word of the day is PALLOR

2010-10-25T23:40:00.000-04:00

gray, luke cold day.

like my grandma.
she's probably gray now.

since she's died she hasn't gotten any sun in 4 months.

WHY IS THIS SO HILARIOUS TO ME?!

2010-10-25T21:28:00.000-04:00

@TheWhiskeyWorks

What to Watch

2010-09-15T11:10:00.000-04:00

I'm really pumped for Black Swan even though I'm not a huge fan of Natalie Portman (like, I think she peaked in The Professional).

I was checking out the trailer for I'm Still Here ...

I want to watch this too.

Okay. Bye now.

Animal Post.

2010-08-19T14:41:00.000-04:00

GRRRR YOU SCARED.

Because there are two of them.

I just want the windows and the dog.

Annnnnnd maybe the rug/couches.

This would not go in my house since I hate birds irl and that would make me be living a lie.

I dont want to live a lie.

The Not Animal Post for today.

2010-08-19T14:39:00.000-04:00

I'm going to really invigorate my blog and, you know, post and stuff.

Here are thoughts from my tumblr.
So these arent new thoughts. They're old thoughts I've copied and pasted. We do this all the time in conversation; I'm doing it online.
Also, I highly suggest tumblr. Its the laziest form of blogging after twitter.

This is water. Its pretty. See?

These are cute chocolate candy bars you can use for wedding favors. I just would hope they use good chocolate on the inside and not shitty chocolate. What does the outside matter if the inside is cheap?

IKNOWRYTE?

I made up a word from looking at this picture.
GUITARM.
You like?

I dont know if I could sit in the thing on the right. It looks like it would go all beetlejuice on me and trap me.

What I’m saying is, I can see some pent up karmic angry energy in that chair from its former animal. Who wants to sit in a corner for the rest of their life? I’d rather be 6 feet under or in someone else’s stomach … where a dead thing should be. Not in some rich asshole or trendy hipster’s house.

The latter in this case.

Dont get in the back of that thing, little girl.
No candy is worth your virtue.

Alternate caption: BEWARE PEDO WAGON
Modern day version: white van, no windows

I need this when I teach yoga. But I need my right arm to actually say “left arm” because when I lift my right arm, its actually everyone else’s left if I’m facing them.

ZzzzzZZZzzzzzzzz
Thanks for sharing, Niki.

Yes I really did send this to Oprah.com. I dare you to say something.

2010-06-22T03:10:00.001-04:00

Dear Oprah,

We were playing Cranium and I picked Oprah Winfrey. The other team put "Humdinger" as the most points. So I chose to hum over acting or drawing, whatnot and my team had to guess Oprah Winfrey through my humming. I started to hum the old Oprah Winfrey theme show music. And no one knew what I was humming! Basically, do you guys have an mp3 or youtube of the old Oprah Winfrey show theme song? I cant find one anywhere and I'm frankly disappointed in the Internet and its lack of all things pop culture (the Oprah theme song music should be in the Smithsonian for Pete's sake). My friends still dont know what I was humming. But they DID guess Oprah. Someone guessed "Scientology" and I did a *kinda* hand motion. Then someone else said "Tom Cruise!" and I got more animated (bc of the couch jumping thing). And then RIGHT when the buzzer went off, Kynslie said "OPRAH WINFREY!" and we got the points which eventually led us to defeat the other team in Cranium. Anyways, mp3 please! Everyone thinks I'm crazy! (It goes like this: Duh duh DUH duh, duh dum. Duh duh DUH duh, duh dum. Repeat, ad infinitum.)

Sometimes you have to meet the psycho halfway

2010-06-08T22:16:00.000-04:00

I got in an argument with a real person but they didnt know I was mad at them; it was all in my head. So its not like I'm talking to myself but, on the other hand, the other person wasnt aware of this situation so maybe I was talking to myself?

Either way, I've declared they have a small penis so I win.

I watch way too much Biggest Loser

2010-05-21T13:29:00.000-04:00

My dream. Real life.

There's this overbearing swim coach that scared the kids. They swam circles in the pool. He wouldnt allow them to hold on to the sides of the pool. And it was a deep pool. He was barking orders while treading water. And he was having a hard time keeping his own head underwater. You know why? Because he was incredibly obese. I dipped my head underwater and saw him drop underneath the surface. He was this big circle (think Willy Wonka Veruca Salt after the blueberries shape; just round, like a blown up balloon). He had this thin innertube right under the largest part of his circular stomach. It could only barely bring his chin above the water. His arms were short stubs because the circle of his torso had enveloped the top 3rd of his upper arm (this is why fat guys have short penises. You're welcome). Since the bulk of his weight was above the innertube, he had a hard time staying upright. He was kind of like those balloons in the Macy Thanksgiving parade, teetering right and left and front and back. Since he's the fat guy in the pool, he's embarrassed so he's wearing a t-shirt. Its tight and he's also wearing striped red shorts that stop at his upper thigh. He flails his little arms to get his head back above water and starts barking orders to the scared 5 year olds once again.

He doesnt know I'm there.

Then I wonder why he's even there in the first place. Why is he around kids and water? He seems so angry and out of place. He isnt the right size and can barely keep his head above water.

I get visions of his past. He was an amazing swimmer. Won competitions. Lightbulbs flashing. Friendly. Happy.

I'm a big fan of The Biggest Loser and time must have passed because the swim coach went on the show. He's a normal sized person and happy again. And I want to take his swim class to learn how to swim and to be around one of The Biggest Losers. He sees me outside while we walk to the swimming pool for the group lesson. He is average weight and looks fine on the outside but I have the impression his stomach is a saggy grandma boob with an innie instead of an outie (and by outie I mean grandma nipple). He's maybe late 30s, early 40s.

The swimming pool (as swimming pools tend to be) is around this complicated rickety, wooden structure we have to maneuver around. It looks dangerous. He climbs up, over, and through this structure with an air of 'fat guy I cant do this' hesitation. Though it takes him awhile, he does it. I know a regular guy without the fat guy past could have done it faster.

Then its my turn. I get to a bridge with missing parts. I have to jump from one small part to the next. I see the swimming coach come to help me. I want him to go away because I dont want the bridge to stress under his weight. He's still large because of his height . . . and that remaining skin that I'm sure is under his pale Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. I remind myself that he's a Biggest Loser and cool. So I let him stand at the other side and encourage me to get across (though I find it really annoying and start not looking forward to the swim lessons). We also climb down this other structure and finally get to the area in front of the swimming pool location. He starts chatting me up and I can tell he's into me. I dont want to go on a date with him.

Then I wake up.

Ummm, wtf? I have not had a dream that I recall in a long time and this is the one I get?

The Lovely Bones was stupid.

2010-05-06T12:07:00.000-04:00

So I tweeted three times in a row about The Lovely Bones. Read from bottom up.

nikiverse The Lovely Bones: Plus I was watching it with my parents and they woudlnt stfu about how they had that wallpaper growing up. less than 20 seconds ago
nikiverse The Lovely Bones: If I were dead Id avenge my death, do pottery with Patrick Swayze. Not live in some pothead, Lisa Frank wetdream.1 minute ago
nikiverse The Lovely Bones: If I wanted to see What Dreams May Come again, I would shoot myself but thats besides the point. Susan Sarandon was great! 4 minutes ago

Straight copy/paste. If what I need to inform the Internet involves more than 2.5 tweets, blogging would be a better option. So here I go.

As the tweets show, I thought Lovely Bones was a bit ridiculous. I've heard great things about the book ... but the movie makes me wonder if Alice Sebold honestly thinks a 14 year old being murdered and hanging out with other murdered dead girls is the best way to show us the discovery of one's sexuality? I mean, I guess its "A way".

Which brings me to Peter Jackson. Didnt he direct Lord of the Rings? After seeing the movies, I just dont get the BFD about that trilogy. I mean, yeah, their own language. Elvish. Call me normal but I dont get it.

Back to The Lovely Bones. from imdb.com

Mark Wahlberg replaced Ryan Gosling just days before shooting began. In preparation for the role, Gosling had gained 20 pounds and grew out a beard. However, he vacated the role due to creative differences. Wahlberg, who had just completed shooting The Happening (2008), another production in Pennsylvania, became available just in time to accept Gosling's role.

I wonder what the "creative differences" were? We all know that Mark Wahlberg used to be a white rapper so I'm sure he ALWAYS has artistic integrity in the forefront of his mind . . . thats probably covered up by a backwards facing ballcap. Oh, I think underneath that wifebeater there's still old Marky Mark underneath - who would sell his soul in a minute to revive the Funky Bunch. Can you feel the vibration? Feel it feel it.

Ryan Gosling's abs >> Mark Wahlberg's abs

Sidenote: I did like My Sister's Keeper. Read the book too! Cried during both.

excerpt from At the Mystic Aquarium by Patricia Fargnoli

2010-04-11T23:08:00.000-04:00

She lets out a cry that rips straight through
and her mother snatches her up, snaps at me in anger.
Sorry. Sorry. I say again and again
as I try with no luck to struggle to my feet,
straining against the dark and the gravity,
thinking how hard it is to rise
from the downthrust of weight and age,
aware of shame's bloodrush, tears beginning
as if I were the hurt child, the one who needed saving.

how can i post about popped collars and herpes when you just updated about your wife's operation?

2010-04-07T01:22:00.000-04:00

Cant you seriously update everyone about that around noontime? Why at night when I am ready to inform the masses about my musings do you have to post something so . . . important and serious?

Who is the jerk in the following situation:
Man 1: My wife just had an operation. We get the results back in 3 hours.
Me, 2 seconds later: Is it just me or do guys wearing popped collars end up having an STD in 2 years?

If you said Man 1, you're a horrible person.
All you other killjoys can suck it though bc I BRING UP A GOOD POINT REGARDLESS.

If only I had paid attention . . .

2009-11-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

01. If you went to Hogwarts, which house would you be sorted in?

Ravenclaws.

02. Have you ever been to a Harry Potter midnight release?

Every night with me is a Harry Potter midnight release party.

03. What did you think of Deathly Hallows?

Great band.

04. How many times have you reread the books?

I read the first few. I can't remember which book I stopped at. I stopped at the one where there was a huge Quidditch match and Hermione started looking hot.
Oh wait. Im stupid. "Reread" you said? lol no.

05. Whose death was the saddest?

Dumbledore.

06. If you went to Hogwarts, would you rather have a pet owl, cat, or rat?

Cat. Preferably Julia.

07. What did you think of the movie Half-Blood Prince?

Have I seen this one? There's one I missed. Its like the Saw movies; I can't tell one from another.

08. What do you think of Deathly Hallows being split in half?

Fitting.

09. Have you read The Tales of Beedle the Bard?

No.

10. When did you first become a Harry Potter fan?

It's a state of being. You ARE a Harry Potter fan. It doesn't happen at a specific time.

Female Character? Luna.

Male Character? Severus Snape. I don't know his deal in the whole thing yet. But I know he's a good guy pretending to be bad.

Professor? Dumbledore. Does he count? He's like Albert Einstein. But gay.

Death Eater? Wow. I mean, there are just so many. Who can choose such things during times?

Magical Creature? Dragons.

Spell? Giveth a Crappeth

Quote? [going to imdb, brb] [okayyy, or MuggleNet] "I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends." Luna

Book? IDK.

Movie? Saw IV

Hogwarts House? Gryffindor

Place? The candy shop. Or shoppe.

Weasley? The mom.

Couple? Dumbledore and Hagrid. Did that happen?

Gryffindor or Slytherin? Slytherin.

Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff? Hufflepuff.

Fred or George? Who

Ginny or Luna? Luna. Ginny can go eat one for all I care.

Butterbeer or Firewhiskey? Woah woah now.

Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley? Diagon Alley.

Books or Movies? Oh, so if I say movies everyone is going to judge me? Loaded question. Not answering it.

Okay this is a long stupid survey. I tire of it . . .

Half-Blood Prince or Deathly Hallows?

Sorcerer’s Stone or Chamber of Secrets?

Snape or Slughorn?

Lupin or Sirius?

Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?

Lavender Brown or Parvati Patil?

Seamus Finnigan or Dean Thomas?

Kreacher or Dobby?

Muggleborn or Pureblood?

Dan Radcliffe or Rupert Grint?

Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy?

Voldemort or Tom Riddle?

Hedwig or Crookshanks?

Alternate Version

2009-10-27T14:49:00.001-04:00

Rain Rain
Stay all day
Wash my pain and fears away.

Coldplay sucks.

Ohhh my gahhhhh you guys this was so cute!

2009-10-12T09:42:00.000-04:00

Julia, the cat, is an outdoors cat. She just comes inside the house to eat, lay on my bed, and randomly get pissy & scratch me. When Julia and I were first acquainting ourselves to each other, she would just meow to get my attention. But over the past two months, she has learned to stand right in b/n my face and the computer. Total hooker.

Anyways. I have never seen this cat use the bathroom. But today, of all days, its completely pouring outside and I see her pawing at some dirt. And then she pops a squat. I mean, I know this shouldnt be so impressive but it just was. Here is Julia ... doing number 2 ... pouring down rain ... my headlights shining in her eyes. She knows I'm looking at her because she's staring straight back at me.

And we understand.

For future reference - the bathing suit wasnt necessary.

2009-09-26T17:34:00.000-04:00

So its been a hot, rainy mess in GA the past few days. A lot of roads have been flooded, a lot of people have damage to their houses - not to mention they dont have flood insurance to cover it (but I've heard that GA is a not a "flood zone" so you couldnt buy flood insurance if you wanted to; these people are just screwed by the system and not of their own volition - I could be wrong).
My uncle lives (well, lived) in a trailer. Cops came to his house and they go "You need to leave". My uncle, knowing how persistent cops can be seeing how he's had a few run-ins, left as the water was pooling around his home. And a few hours later his trailer floated away.

So yes. Rainy mess.

But, there are good things that can come out of this.

My car is white and has not been washed in AGES. You might be thinking months-wise ... but I think it's been over a year since my car has been washed. Not this past summer but this past past summer. So I thought it would be a good idea to get a mop and wash my car while it was raining. That way I dont have to fool with a hose or rinsing my car off. The idea was to get a poncho and stay reasonably dry. But why bother with a poncho either? So I put on a bathing suit, shorts, and flip flops and grabbed the mop. When the mop got dirty, I went to the curb and let it sit in the rushing water. Aside from the mop, it was a green operation.

My car is still not ideally clean. There are black specks everywhere.

But enough about my car. How efficient and green am I? I mean, I feel like I could take on the logging industry right now.

#whenIwaslittle

2009-09-08T01:25:00.000-04:00

Alternate title: Sometimes I have something to say longer than 140 characters

When I was little

I ran away from home, got to the end of the apartment complex, got scared, ran back home, realized I had locked the door, so I sat down on the front steps until my mom woke up from her nap and let me back inside the house. Crying was involved.

Good story.

Birds

2009-09-03T11:01:00.000-04:00

Sometimes of late years I find myself thinking the most beautiful sight in the world might be the birds taking over New York after the last man has run away to the hills. I will never live to see it, of course, but I know just how it will sound because I’ve lived up high and I know the sort of watch birds keep on us. I’ve listened to sparrows tapping tentatively on the outside of air conditioners when they thought no one was listening, and I know how other birds test the vibrations that come up to them through the television aerials. ‘Is he gone?’ they ask, and the vibrations come up from below, ‘Not yet, not yet.’

Loren Eiseley

Its either going to be the birds or the insects that *make* it. Most people are betting on the insects.
However, its safe to say the polar bears dont have a shot.

Wow, I have nothing to say but you should really look at this picture

2009-08-26T09:37:00.000-04:00

While we're on the subject, I hate Lion King.

I thought Jasmine was the first real slutty Disney princess even though Ariel was probably a bit more provocative with her barely there seashells and low rise fish tail. But I guess since Jasmine was a minority, I judged her unfairly.

This is all.

Top 5 Enemies List for week ending whenever Sunday was (ie, my A Raygun Would Be Nice Right About Now List).

2009-08-24T15:28:00.000-04:00

1. The company that always takes my parking spot at work! I will raygun your tires the next time I see you in our spots!!!

2. That mouse that I saw scurrying around in the kitchen. I've lived here for over a year and have NEVER seen anything bigger than a bug. And then you, YOU MR MOUSE, show up when my roommate is out of town and now every time I walk through the kitchen and a shadow hits something in a mousy way, I scream.

3. The guy at bootcamp who made us do 100 burpees. That was hard! You're on my enemies list until I see the results mister.

4. Julia. She picked my $60 sweater with her claws. I would have totally raygunned her face if I had a raygun at the time.

5. My natural deoderant. It DOESNT WORK. And it scrapes my armpit bc its too earthy!

sitting in the shower, why not?

2009-08-22T14:17:00.000-04:00

during my shower i just sat down in the tub while the shower was going. i mean, i'm not depressed or anything. there's two good reasons to do this

1. its like sitting in the rain but without water hitting your face if you dont want to. plus, you dont have to worry about changing clothes. and the *rain* is temperature controlled.

2. you know how people say they like to "think" while they run? well, same thing when sitting in your shower. its a great time to think. plus in the shower, you dont have to worry about sweating, exerting yourself like you do with running.

but sitting in the shower is still good for moments when you need to cry too. like this...

wearing black, black clothes to match my black, black heart.

2009-08-13T10:00:00.000-04:00

Recently I started dressing nicer for work. I'm not working in the lab anymore so I dont have to worry about spilling sulfuric acid on my pants and having a hole eaten through them.

But I havent been keeping my wardrobe up to date with the up and coming "work fashions". So all I have are my church clothes. Which are not 100% fit for a work environment. And I've been finding myself wearing a lot of black. Its simple and non-frilly and slimming.

Yesterday a guy said I looked like one of those pool players.

I fail at life.

Should TLC own responsibility for thrusting Jon and Kate into immediate stardom and having their marriage fail?

2009-06-25T21:22:00.000-04:00

WRONG, the correct answer is "who cares?"

I might want to be her

2009-06-16T09:23:00.000-04:00

Im waiting for huge frizzy hair to come back in style.
But even if it did, I dont know if my kind of frizzy is ever cool. Hers is frizzy and curly and big everywhere. Mine is just randomly frizzy on top (ie, the flyaways) and then big on the bottom. So my head looks like a triangle. Hers is more of an "M". Or kitty cat inspired.

I also like how she's on a bike, with the boys, in some bright colors.

Yeah, I want to be her. I bet she can play the drums too.

great, now i wont be able to sleep

2009-06-13T18:29:00.001-04:00

Every child fears under their bed. If they don’t, they fear the closet, or maybe that little crack in the almost closed door.

Scientists know that children are more perceptive, they see things adults don’t. They aren’t yet tethered into only accepting what society wants them to accept. They see what is truly there.

They see the monsters.

If you were to borrow a child’s eyes and see through them for a night, you would go insane. To be able to see what you only dimly remember, burrowing into your covers while wearing those train pajamas, hoping to a God you can barely comprehend that “it” doesn’t see you back…would drive an adult crazy. Because Adults forget the rules.

1) Cover yourself. If you can’t see it, it can’t see you. Even if it makes it harder to breathe.

2) Don’t make a noise. Every whimper can lead to destruction.

3) Don’t move. It attracts their attention.

4) Only light can make them go away. Bright light. Flashlights make it worse.

Teens are caught in the middle. They still feel what’s there, but they cannot see… and they forget the rules….

Why do you think there are so many insomniacs typing at their computers, subconsciously praying the light from their monitor will be enough to keep them away?

It’s not. Now look behind you with a child’s eyes and try not to scream.

How to fly

2009-06-12T09:28:00.000-04:00

I, Niki, 100% stole this from someone's tumblr. But only bc I couldnt find the button to like it!

1. Sit on the back porch and contemplate your place in the world. Be loose and breathe deeply. Consider the weathering back fence in all its browns, greens and grays. Nature isn’t hurried, nor should you be. Things take time.
2. Starting at the base and working outward, preen your wings, taking pains to crush mites and lice between the nails of the thumb and forefinger. Pluck ancient or broken feathers to promote new growth.
3. Stretch. Limber up. Breathe deeply. (Now is the time when all the yoga you practiced earlier pays off. Make the lion pose. Now the serpent. Now the lotus. Relax.)
4. Leave the porch, lift your wings and grab the air. Though you may feel awkward at first, the rhythm will return as it returns to jazz musicians coming out of detox after a long winter kicking junk.
5. Once you’re gliding, forget your wings. Understand wings are illusory, and turn them loose.
6. Realize your body is an unnecessary illusion and let it return to the back porch. Soar above it.
7. All is illusion. Forget it. Let it go. Fly.

Dont read this if you're a guy

2009-06-05T14:05:00.000-04:00

Hey so I think I've come up with a cute baby name. Florence Claire! Isnt it magnificent?!

Here are some ways to get Florence Claire's attention.
"Hey, Florence!"
"Flo!"
"Yo, Claire Bear"

Good idea. I know I'm full of them.

Checklist, please

2009-06-04T16:38:00.000-04:00

My potential husband checklist for June 4th in the year of our Lord 2009.

- Flip flops are okay but SANDALS and CROCS are a big EW GROSS.

- Must wear a t-shirt under hoodies. People who dont wear t-shirts under hoodies send the message, "hey Im european and Im good in bed." Which translates into "I have many STDs".

- Must like to travel. Preferably with me. And not another girl ... like makeout buddies or "she's just a really hot friend, god you're so insecure!"

- Must sing better than me. (This shouldnt even be on here since everyone pretty much can sing better than I do).

- Must know more than me about cars. (Again, this is kind of redunkulous since I barely know what year my own car is & recently learned last year the difference b/n make and model).

- Must look slightly goofy while dancing at times. Guys too good at dancing are probably really good in bed and Im sure I'd disappoint so lets just stop this before it even happens.

- Athletic. Who is going to carry the kids when we go to the mall for our Saturday night dates? Those cretins are getting heavier these days!

Note: this list can change without a moment's notice including but not limited to the following: bad breath, clothing style, douchebaggery, political leanings, etc. I might like guys in Crocs tomorrow, who knows?! Life is like a barrel of fish! And that previous statement had nothing to do with the statement before it! But Im not budging on the height thing! No guy shorter than like 5'8" or something. Okayyyy, fine. 5'6" BUT IM NOT GOING ANY LOWER!

kinda want

2009-06-03T22:34:00.000-04:00

Lookin Boy Hot Stylz Featuring Yung Joc

Blame It Jamie Foxx featuring T-Pain

Was it something I said?

2009-06-03T15:57:00.000-04:00

I dont mean to be selfish, but I'd totally appreciate if people would stop moving away from me.

And they arent moving away to different cities. No! Its different STATES! I know. I'm scribbling their faces out in yearbooks, ward directories, journals, etc as Im typing this.

SBZ, Ashley, yes Im talking to you guys. Brian too but he kind of doesnt count since he's probably moving away because of his new roommate.

I met a famous person

2009-06-03T11:38:00.000-04:00

Not really, but if there ever was a Kevin McCallister (Home Alone) around, I think I found him and he's 27 and lives in GA.

Kevin McCallister: Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?
Clerk: Well, I don't know. It doesn't say, hon.
Kevin McCallister: Well, could you please find out?

how do you learn these things if Chinese history isnt taught in the schools?

2009-06-03T10:29:00.000-04:00

I invited a coworker out to eat sushi with me yesterday. And she's Chinese. And apparently she doesnt like sushi because its "Japanese". Excussssee me. How was I supposed to know they dont eat sushi in China?!

Foodie faux pas, my bad.

Does your mom know you're here? Is she hot?

2009-05-31T19:52:00.000-04:00

I have been a hot mess these past three days.

Yeah, something like that.
If you're Mormon, pretend that says Gee Golly Crap.

I know you hear me. I can taste it in your tears. Holding my last breath. Safe inside myself. Are all my thoughts of you. Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight.

2009-05-31T19:46:00.000-04:00

Here are two pictures from the AVP volleyball thing.

I dont know what kind of exercising the women do, but I need some of that. And a tan too. One that isnt peeling.

Tags. We need those. Seriously.

2009-05-30T01:01:00.000-04:00

What ... a day.

I went to get my tags for my car (totally slipped my mind; i had to pay a late fee. oops). This was after I bought a new camera yesterday. Then today its like, "Oh yes, I need to spend more money that I wasnt planning on spending. Glory."

I get the Tag place. Take a number. Yes, they make you take a number. But its okay because you get to sit in chairs instead of stand in a line. Wait. Text. Bathroom. Text. Its finally my turn then the woman goes, "Do you have your emissions?" What kind of question is that? Who is stupid enough to go to the tag office without their emissi- Wait, we need to get emissions done before we get to this part? Crap.

So yeah, I had to leave the tag office, get my emissions, take a number, et cetera et cetera. This was after an hour long Drug Policy meeting at work. Not to mention on my drive back to work, I sat in traffic for an hour. What are people doing on Barrett Pkwy in Kennesaw at 230 pm. Late lunch? Early ride home? Grrr. So hardly nothing got done today. I have this list @ work of kind of important stuff to do hanging over my head until Monday. And that bugs me.

I ate pretty bad this week being my birthday and all. If I eat anymore bread or carbs, I could possibly turn into a marshmallow. Or a bag of flour. Maybe thats more appropriate.

What a stupid blog.

answerless

2009-05-07T12:07:00.000-04:00

Q: whats one thing you recently learned that blew your mind?

I dont know! But I did read a horrible status update that made me realize I still havent conquered this whole "judgmental" problem thing I have but I'm not surprised, so consequentially, mind not blown. [talk about hypocritical. i'm sure i just wrote an impeccable example of a confusing, run-on sentence. go me.]

Someone I know on the internet has apparently "and justed eat a miffin chochlet miffien"

yay!

Blow my mind, please. Before I hit my head against the monitor and do it myself.

What have you recently learned that blew your mind? All 2 of my readers. Rise. Speak. Rawr.

GMap your Soul

2009-05-06T15:05:00.000-04:00

One of the new blogs I've come across via twitter is SoulPancake, tagline: Chew on Life's Big questions. Cute ones like why does Christian music suck so much? Twingey questions like Is It Fair To Children To Raise Them Religious? to downright nitty gritty ones such as Mac or PC?

I will blog some of my viewpoints to their questions (with seemingly no answer). The question (or objective) for today is:

Find the location on Google Maps where your soul feels most at home.

I am not a well versed traveler and still dont quite know myself as well as I should (hopefully I'll never know myself 100% because the questions I ask are far more interesting than the ultimate truth anyways).

The past me would be all about Orlando, FL. They have Disney. And Disney has candy. What else does a city need? Roller coasters? Yeah, Orlando has those too. The teen angst-y me would be Seattle WA during the 90s. When I first spent the night at my rich friend's house in high school I was yearning to belong in Zurich but my soul was probably somewhere closer to Macon, GA. And when I discovered yoga I was sure Rishikesh, India was in my blood. And urine.

But at this moment in time, I'm feeling pretty granola. Outdoorsy. But goodness not too outdoorsy. Optimistic. If I had to choose a landscape, I'd want something grand - like mountains! Young tall mountainss! I think this would be perfectly balanced with a calm, serene lake reflecting the sky ... symbolizing how chill and adaptable and patient I can be ... reflective, ponderous (get it? "pond"er ... lake?)

My temporary answer for this question is not a city, but a lake.
Lake Lucerne in Switzerland.
complicated shape
surrounded by mountains
why not?

View Larger Map

You can play along. Or not. I dont care. Because I'm Lake Lucerne and you are Noril'sk in Northern Siberia (apparently one of the ten worst cities to live in. The smelters smoke is saturated with sulfur. The air that you breathe is filled with so much sulfur that the trees do not survive).

best laid plans.

2009-04-29T14:16:00.001-04:00

You were supposed to leave them there.

does anyone else want to join my "Im scared but driving anyways" calling list?

2009-04-23T21:45:00.000-04:00

There were some pretty bad storms in GA and I had to teach yoga. I got about 5/6 of the way there and had to pull over to a gas station. Like a BOSS! There was rain and hail and lightning and gnashing of teeths, etc. The rain was coming down so hard, I could barely see the line divider that I was driving beside ... much less the one a foot ahead. I hear my precious non-descript Camry getting beaten by the hail and my wipers might as well be useless even though they are going full speed. Its kind of sad when your car is doing its best but its still not good enough to get water off of the windshield. So I park in a Shell. There are cars huddled underneath the canopy covering the gas pumps. I get my hood under the strong aluminum covering but my trunk is still getting pounded. (by the way Im just joshing about the "strong aluminum" ... you remember what aluminum sounds like with rain on it dont you? well pretend its hail and see if you feel safe and secure.)

First phone call: the college where I teach yoga - are you guys still having group fitness classes? some kid: yawai as far as I know.

I still have 15 minutes to class, I'm 5 minutes away maybe this will blow over by then.

Second phone call: to the yoga contractor (I guess thats what you call her) Umm, its bad weather, I dont think I can make it to teach. She tells me to call the college if I cant make it. Then we chat about summer schedule! (Side note: I didnt know they were having summer group fitness classes! Im excited).

I dont know where the safest place to be is in a thunderstorm. I know cars are really good around lightning because of the rubber and stuff. But what about a tornado? I dont think a car can fight a tornado. Remembering back to the Planeteers and how their powers might not have been so lame after all (well, you still cant convince me about that heart kid. USELESS). Note to self: google "tornado stay in car ditch crying overpass"

Now the wind is blowing and I'm looking at the gas pumps. You know what they look like in bad weather? Bombs. Thats what. I hear a tornado siren go off and I jump out of my car and jet inside the gas station. You learn something new every day - apparently I would rather die inside a gas station than a car.

Third phone call: the college where i teach yoga - i'm the instructor, i'm not going to make it to teach. some kid: okay cool. Me: umm, is this all? do you need to tell someone? some kid: i can tell the building manager. Me: Okay you do that then.

Fourth phone call: to Mick (stepdad): hey, look at the news. Is Kennesaw going to die? Mick: not that I can tell.

Another tornado siren. This time a voice comes with it. A VOICE! When have you heard a voice attached to a tornado siren? I dont know either but it makes it sound a lot more legit. We're all wimps and back away from the big window. Some of us head to the back storage area but the attendant is like "umm, thats aluminum back there. stay here up front where the big, open window is". He didnt say that exactly but its what I heard.

A lot of bad stuff happens in movies when there's a crowd of people in a gas station. Knowing, The Mist ... seems like a lot of disaster movies have people in gas stations. I am looking around this Shell and there's a good 30 people there. And its JUST like the movies. There's an Asian, a woman that knows exactly what is going on the outside, a guy in shorts (jorts, to be precise) and a sleeveless shirt, a woman with a small baby, a guy with a mullet making comments about "well at least we got beer". I mean YOU CAN NOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

So the storm backs off and I get in my car.
5th phone call to Mick: OMG I made it out of that gas station alive. I thought for sure I was a goner when I saw that woman with the small child come in. OMG I'm shaking LOL [turning the ignition on] Mick: Niki calm down before you drive. Me: Oh yeah lol Im nervous and chatty. ... okay Im good bye.

6th phone call to Ashley: [got her voicemail] OMG ASHLEY LIKE THERE IS SO MUCH LIGHTNING NO ONE IS DRIVING IN MY LANE WHAT IS GOING ON AGHHHHH! OMG THE SKY JUST LIT UP! I SO SCARED HOLD ME! THE LIGHTNING ITS ALL AROUND ME AHHHH! I CANT SEE THE ROAD *click

7th phone call to Mick: OMG THE LIGHT IS OUT AT NORTH MARIETTA PARKWAY AND 41 STAY ON THE LINE MAKE SURE I MAKE IT INSIDE THE HOUSE OKAY AND DONT GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING OMG IM TURNING LEFT AND THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS OUT OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING DONT YOU SEE IM GOING??!! OKAY I MADE IT DIDNT DIE OMGOMG IM WALKING OUT OF MY CAR AND IM NOT DEAD LOL IM INSIDE! And then my mom talks to me and says, "Just get your iPod, close your eyes, and think happy thoughts. Stay away from windows. Oh, your bed is by a window? Well listen to your iPod in the closet or something honey okay?" Yeah okay mom bye.

Not to mention I made like two twitters. I imagined at my funeral there would be some comment like "always one for realism, niki's last words were posted on her twitter page. and i quote: omg [and he actually says oh em gee] i'm in a gas station and there's a tornado and this is like a disaster movie or something. Ppl are going to die!' .... "

mary oliver

2009-04-22T23:42:00.000-04:00

I can not get enough of this poem. Different lines randomly pop up in my head at the oddest moments. I am reading Deepak Chopra's Soulmate (its kind of "meh" so far ... but I like it enough. There's some random well thought out points mentioned. I guess it seems full of simple, sweet ideas & thats what keeps me reading.). Someone dies in the book, so I automatically recall this line: Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. I dont really have a point to make. I just wanted to share the poem. I will probably post it over and over after I forget that I've already posted it. But Mary Oliver is a great poet and people should be required to read selected poems of hers (that I have chosen obviously) and read them repeatedly until they memorize two of them.

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

See? This is why you should come to free stuff with me.

2009-04-22T22:47:00.000-04:00

Big Peach Running Co. in Kennesaw GA hosted a 5k tonight. We ran all throughout the Ridenour complex (which is HILLS GALORE). Why does it seem like the uphills are long and sloping and the downhills are steep and treacherous? Maybe the 400 meters or so were actually a nice, flat to downhill terrain. The race was poker themed so we all got this piece of paper and ran to different stations throughout the route to pick a card for our poker hand. At the end, we met at Keegans to see who got the best hand and to distribute out door prizes. I came in 2nd place. They had this ONE prize I really wanted (the $100 gift certificate to Big Peach) and I was hoping the 1st woman wouldnt pick it. Thank goodness she didnt; she chose the 1 month of free bootcamp (which if it costs what mine costs .... she probably got the steal of the night). But I'm extremely stoked about my gift certificate! What to buy what to buy? Another pair of shoes or a workoutfit? I really need workout clothes because most of my stuff is cotton crap from Old Navy.

And I did stop to walk during the 5k at times. I could have run more, I'm sure. But I was running with this guy I met and we chatted and knew we werent really in a big rush to knock this out the ballpark. (He actually has a half marathon in 2 months ... you can knock yourself out with that one). Plus, I have done bootcamp this morning and yesterday morning and then I did hot yoga last night (90 minutes worth), so I deserve to trot/walk during the uphills if I want to. So there.

free stuff! (oh, just for me. not for you).

2009-04-14T12:09:00.000-04:00

So I get free stuff tonight. This woman at my old home ward (ie, church) gets clothes that other people don't want and we get to take it. I'm saving the planet! These underwears and raincoats would have just ended up in a landfill somewhere. But here I am, wearing the underwear with my jeans. And running through the rain puddles in my free slicker! Annnnd saving the planet at the same time. What has your underwear done lately?

Also, I'm finally seeing the benefits of this little thing called saving money. I think paying my car insurance this go round will not result in a stress induced, hair pulling, heart attack. Go me! I even acquired, lets see, ... wait, is that right? $2 in interest? They must mean $20. No worries, I bet their interest calculator is messed up.

I'll drop them an e-mail about that one.

feelin good

2009-04-13T15:15:00.000-04:00

I'm about a week in with my bootcamp. And it sucks waking up @ 5 am. I went over to Virginia's this weekend and tried to watch a movie. Come 11 pm, I was KONKED out on her couch. I took a 5 hour nap and then drove home at 4 am. Any nut on the street probably thought I was swerving because it was late and I was tired. But I was swerving because it was early and I was tired. See the difference?

Okay, back to bootcamp. I'm in the "fast" group! However there are only two groups and the other group is called the "super fast" group. I wish I was kidding.

What I like about BTB Fitness is how the trainers running and burpeeing (still not quite sure about what those are) and mountain climbing with you.

We also fill out a daily food log and the instructors grade it in the morning. Checks equal high fives for everyone (in my mind, no one really high fives you - I wish they would. I need to practice mine). An "X" means you fail. For example, I got an "X" after going to a pampered chef party (party in the loosest definition of the word) and eating fruit pizza w cream cheese and tortilla chips with all kinds of dips. X means push ups.

Man, there is so much running. I've never really been a good runner or even a runner. At my best, I think I ran 6 mi without stopping one time. It could have taken me an hour. I'm positive I have a lot more slow twitch fibers than the regular person. Oh yes, did you know? I also have a long torso. That cant be good for running. Then its like my lungs know whats going to happen when my feet start moving at a certain cadence - they are like "Oh no you di'int" and my legs are like "Oh yes we di'". Then my lungs go "Oh yeah?" to which my legs go "Yeah, you heard. You want to say it to my face?". To which my lungs are done with the argument and die.

True story.

smart guy

2009-03-30T00:13:00.001-04:00

"All dames are alike: they reach down your throat and they can grab your heart, pul it out and they throw it on the floor, step on it with their high heels, spit on it, shove it in the oven and cook the shit out of it. Then they slice it into little pieces, slam it on a hunk of toast, and serve it to you and then expect you to say, 'Thanks, honey, it was delicious.'"

Solitary Movie Confinement

2009-03-22T23:20:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I go see movies by myself.

Here's what I do. I get to the movie about 5 minutes after it starts. The previews are just finishing up and I dont miss any of the movie. I always tend to go to the movies by myself when its really busy too. I dont know why. This is the good part. I go after everyone has found their spot. I look to find someone else by themselves and I sit next to them. See? It's perfect! Now we're both not alone. So I can pretend like we're good friends. This is best to do when the movie theater is crowded. Because if you sit next to someone when the theater is kind of empty, thats just weird. So I pretend we are silent friends. Laughing in unison but never looking at each other or talking. We'll probably be too tired to talk after the movie and we'll just go our separate ways until next time.

So I watched Knowing and the theater was just packed. I sat down next to this older gentleman who was by himself. He had a hat on. I imagined there was a feather in it too. Maybe he was a journalist or something. Real old school hollering about deadlines. Well, about 2 minutes into the movie, he scoots over a chair. Away from me! Could you imagine? Like I am weird or something. I mean, he's the older scary guy. Jeez. I must remind him of his dead daughter or something like that. It's really the only reason he would have done such a thing.

TV Watching Dilemma: SOLVED

2009-03-19T18:02:00.000-04:00

So, as we all know, on Tuesday American Idol, The Biggest Loser and Dancing with the Stars come on about the same time. My DVR can only record 2 shows at a time. This is a problem.

Seeing how I think AI <<<<<< TBL ca. = to DWTS (translates to American Idol is much, much less than The Biggest Loser which is about equal to Dancing with the Stars ... with regards to what I enjoy). From watching the recap episode of AI and seeing 20 seconds of their songs here are my initial thoughts: Danny Gokey sucks; I'm not quite sure what the BFD is. The other big white guy seems okay. I like the girl with the tattoos. And Adam Lambert seemed cool. That blind kid sucks.

So I'm going to not record American Idol anymore on Tuesday nights. But I will record the recap episode where they vote someone off on Wednesday nights and just catch the quick recaps of their songs (because Fox will edit out the boring two minutes of the songs and just show the Mariah Carey segments). Problem solved! Who needs 3 hours of American Idol on their DVR every week anyways? The recap episodes are where you see the cheesy Ford commercials, emo Kanye, and the people cry when they get voted off. TONS OF ENTERTAINMENT.

This is my exciting midweek life.

More life notes:
I also pre-ordered Twilight. 2 Discs.
My iPod battery konked out. I cant take it to Apple because it looks really old and stolen (just like everything else I buy off Craigslist). I bought an iPod battery off of ipodjuice.com. Will update if it actually works. I mean, $39 bucks to save my 60gb iPod sure beats buying another one for $240.
Bought some Asics because I'm doing a bootcamp. It was kind of pricey. My April will be filled with waking up at 5 am and sweating and crying and getting yelled at, I'm sure. :D But hopefully I'll be looking hawt come May.

random thing i stole about how the economic crisis affects charities, movie store, and your mom

2009-03-13T11:35:00.000-04:00

the charities suffer because you stop donating.
the movie theater and the candy store suffer because you stop spending money.
and you dont have enough money saved to pay back your mom.

you're in an economic crisis.

I found this on a twitpic. I have no clue what the context was. But I liked the the randomosity of the candy store/mom stuff.
(I personally had thought the candy stores took an economic hit during the atkins time ... I'm sure they're bummed they're always the first to suffer. Seems like candy would help you out during hard times.)

status updates suck donkey balls when they dont include me.

2009-03-05T23:21:00.000-05:00

now, im not saying i would have gone anyways, but i hate being such a good internet spy and figuring out when people do things and dont invite me.

i dont care that you are going to see watchmen with a big crew of your folk. i dont care that you are windmill kicking snowmen in the face that you built previously. and i certainly dont care that you and your friends fell in a big, heaping pile of laughter in some leaves on saturday night.

i. dont. care.

because while you had your silly, fleeting fun - i've been writing this blog. your laughter and interaction with real people only lasted for a few hours. the internet is forever.

So there.

the Universe does not want me to get fat or drink coffee

2009-03-03T17:21:00.000-05:00

i have this sneaking suspicion that the Universe is with me on my fight against fat and caffeine. i made a commitment to myself and the powers that be that i would say goodbye to some of my favorite things which were bad for my health. i have watched The Secret and i go to the gym and so i have a lot of positive influences in my life to prevent me from going back to my bad habits.

but, occasionally i fail at life. and in a recent post i talked allllll about my run in with the cement thingie (which happened to be at a mcdonalds ... i'm certain this was the Universe reminding me that i shouldnt have been there in the first place).

i decided to tempt fate again and just drop by for one eensy teensy bite of burger king this morning. i kid you not, if i didnt sit my burger king iced mocha on the edge of my desk and if it didnt topple over and spill all over my floor im not sitting here (umm, i might not be sitting here while you, the reader, are reading this later but youknowwhatimeandontbeanass). i cleaned up my mess [kind of] and then threw away the food.

no wonder i had such a hard time losing weight this past year. apparently i have no willpower and need acts of god to keep me from fast food.

random

2009-03-03T17:06:00.000-05:00

so im getting a lot of compliments on my pants. little do people know that i have a hard time hiding my crack for all the world to see in these jeans. what women do for fashion ...

also, i think they should start a pool at work to see who will lose their keycard first. and everyone should throw in about 10 bucks. i, being the responsible one, should have the odds against me of losing mine. so i will tell another coworker to vote for me as the one who would lose their keycard first. then i will lose it, my coworker will win the pot, i will get $25 from my coworker for taking the fall, and they get to keep the rest of the money.

(would the story sound any different if i had already lost my keycard and the keycard costs $25 to replace?)

cat, omg

2009-02-27T23:03:00.000-05:00

Julia, the cat, is a typical cat. She's so mean. Yet at the same time, she's like "pet me. now. thx."

She was moving her butt closer and closer to my face. And I have trouble with my complexion in the first place, and I dont think cat dook has any beneficial effects for the face with the exception of exfoliation, maybe. So I pushed her off. And she bit me and scratched my hand. After she got a few hisses at me. And then she saunters off to my feet, sits on them and starts purring.

And THEN. I have this box of shoes (bc I dont have that much room in my closet, so I chunk all my shoes in the closet). And Julia jumps in it and I guess realizes that shoes arent comfortable to lay down on. So she starts meowing. What does she want me to do? Chunk a pillow in there?

And my strawberries I'm eating. JEEZ. What cat likes strawberries? I dont think Julia does, but does that stop her from sticking her nose all up in my fraises?

I dont even have to say anything about her walking all up on my computer while I'm trying to type this.

Money Matters

2009-02-17T20:19:00.000-05:00

Wow, its been awhile since I've blogged.

Some recent stuff that happened ....

- I was feeling really really lucky to have a steady job and stuff during the economic downturn. I even thought, "Wow, it almost feels, I dont know, 'icky' to not have horrible luck swirling around me. Where are credit card bills you cant pay when you need them?"

- I bought a Mac and a Nintendo DS Lite. Okay, well I bought the Nintendo DS Lite ... the MacBook is kind of not paid for yet.

- annnddd then i hit a cement thingie. and not even one at a gas station ... but one at Mcdonalds. I havent really told anyone I hit it at Mcdonalds because I've been complaining about my weight and I'm embarrassed that it happened there. So not only was I eating fast food even though I promised myself I wouldnt eat fast food anymore ... I was told to pull up while they were making my latte. And my other promise to myself was to lay off the diet cokes and coffees. So she brings out my latte and apparently there was a cement thingie right in front of my driver side bumper that I just revved right into.
Figures. I had asked for divine intervention to help me lose weight and lay off the caffeine. I havent had any caffeine or fast food since this disaster happened to my car. Not really the jolt I wanted to get me back on track. He works in mysterious ways. Mysterious, devastating, Camry wrecking ways.

there's a 99% chance i'm being annoying right now

2009-01-27T13:39:00.000-05:00

i know that the smell or even mention of v8 juice really irks people. v8 is a particularly offensive drink since it A) has vegetables in it and B) looks like blood.
that being said, i think its delicious because i A) like salty stuff and B) am awesome.

so not only was i drinking the stuff today, i was totally slurping it. so much to where i was even annoying myself with the noise.

thank you and good night.

Best Miscommunication of the Week.

2009-01-19T09:01:00.000-05:00

This weekend a girl from church had a crepe party. And I have never made one or really even knew what went inside them, so I asked Ashley because she's a little bit more cultured when it comes to food and stuff.

Niki: "I need something for my crepes"

Ashley: "MIDOL!"

Nose snuggling. Its a no.

2009-01-14T12:33:00.000-05:00

I actually saw two people do this in an incredibly public place and it's damaging to my health. I could have ruined my eye muscles bc I almost rolled my eyes out of my head. It's true.

Mandatory New Years Resolution for 2009 post

2009-01-04T18:11:00.000-05:00

Here's my mandatory "lose weight" statement. Its not just an empty promise though. I have intent and the means to go work out more. I also will stay away from the fast food places before work. That isnt really conducive to my long term body goals and health.

Now that ones out of the way, I have a few more.

I feel like I have become fairly spiritual but I need to actually start going to church more and become more religious. So my number 2 is to actually go to church.

I also need to become a bit more frugal and save up money the right way. I would like to pay off my yoga teacher training and pay off my MacBook this year. As well as pay for my trip to Mexico and all that!

Lastly, I need to go on more dates. So if that means going on match and prostituting myself out on the internet, so be it! I just dont like sitting and waiting for an LDS guy to ask me out. I'm worth asking out and I deserve a loving relationship and marriage.

Hope everyone's 2009 is fabulous!

2009-01-02T02:36:00.000-05:00

Okay I had 75 Pepsi points and I just found out the Pepsi points promotion ended in the New Year. UGH 75 points, thats like 15 songs I could have gotten for free! Screw Pepsi. Screw them hard Coke deserves the coke market.

ZOMG YAY 4 ELECTRONICS!

2009-01-02T02:30:00.000-05:00

So I got a MacBook and I just went to amazon and bought a Nintendo DS Lite (bc I sure as hell wasnt going to get it at the stores - SOLD OUT ---- Oh, I got Silver Metallic). So the one thing about growing older is that if your parents dont buy it - you can just buy it for yourself. On credit.

Okay question. How do I access the camera on the MacBook? I need to start some webcam sexual websites just kidding.

what i want

2008-12-25T21:32:00.000-05:00

when thinking about the type of guy i want, i love making lists. little attributes that should up make up my perfect ideal. i know the guy will fall way too short in some respects but in others, he might excel my wildest visions.

so anyways. here goes another list.

- i want a guy with a job. a decent job.
- i want a funny guy or a guy that laughs at my jokes. both would be nice. but i would settle for either/or.
in addition, i would like the guy to have a real dry or cynical sense of humor. like smigel. but mixed in with a little bit of immaturity. like dane cook. yeah, i said dane cook.
- i want a guy that loves Jesus. but not because he's been told to love Jesus his whole life. but someone who loves Jesus because they have question, searched, and come up with their own conclusion about such things.
in addition, i would like a guy in touch with his spiritual side. i want him to know the difference between religion (sitting in the pews, trying to beat your last Tetris score) versus spirituality (caring about a tree for the mere fact that it exists)
- i want a guy that is independent. someone that can leave me alone when i get in my moods. and someone that has friends (preferably not hot, single women friends) who he can hang out with.
- i want a guy that likes to read. i want to read side by side with him in the bed and have our own separate bed lamps that we each turn off when we are finished. that's hot.
- i would like someone to travel with.
- i would like someone only slightly spontaneous. like maybe once or twice a year spontaneous.
- i want a guy that is loyal. long term loyal. someone with the m scott peck road less traveled type of love.
- i would like someone that knows what that previous statement means.

- i still like the tall, dark and handsome qualifier.

- i want a guy that is my friend.

merry christmas y'all

dogs and tissue

2008-12-20T12:33:00.000-05:00

i borrowed logan from my parents last night and brought him for the weekend. he's so cute! a little hefty for a cocker spaniel but he can run so that means he's not completely unhealthy. i guess.

also i was just blowing my nose and was ready for a second blow but when i breathed in for my second wind, i sucked in a crapload of tissue paper and almost died because of that jordan sparks song - no air.

its true.

lululemon athletica quotes

2008-12-17T12:42:00.000-05:00

I got this big, red poster type thing from lululemon. And it has lots of quotes on it I like. This is preventing me from throwing it away. So therefore, I will write the quotes on my blog so I can throw away the red paper.

drink fresh water and as much water as you can. water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.

a daily hit of athletic-induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions, helps you be at peace with yourself, and offset stress.

the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness.

do one thing a day that scares you.

listen, listen, listen, and then ask strategic questions.
write down your short and long-term GOALS four times a year. two personal, two business and two helath goals for the next1, 5, and 10 years. goal setting triggers your subconscious computer.

life is full of setbacks.
success is determined by how you handle setbacks.

your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself.

what we do to the earht we do to ourselves.

the world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you 2 steps behind.
do it now, do it now, do it now.

friends are more important than money.

visualize your eventual demise. it can have an amazing effect on how you live your life for the moment.

don't trust that an old age pension will be sufficient.

that which matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least.

stress is related to 99% of all illness.

take various vitamins. you never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health. (okay i dont agree with this one just sayin)

jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

breath deeply and appreciate the moment. living in the moment could be the meaning of life.

observe a plant before and after watering and relate these benefits to your body and brain.
practice yoga so you can remain active in physical sports as you age.

children are the orgasm of life.
just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you actually have them.

successful people replace the words 'wish' 'should' and 'try' with 'i will'.

creativity is maximized when you're living in the moment.
nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce. mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, and will give you a lousy life.

do not sue cleaning chemicals on your kitchen counters or floors. someone will inevitably make a sandwich on your counter.

sweat once a day to regenerate your skin.

the conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. choose a positive thought.

live near the ocean and inhale the pure salt air that flows over the water, vancouver will do nicely.

communication is complicated. we are all raised in a different family with slightly different definitions of every word. an agreement is an agreement only if each party knows the conditions for satisfaction and a time is set for satisfaction to occur.

DANCE, SING, FLOSS AND TRAVEL.

30 questions to elevate your awareness (and literacy) of the greater place in which you live

2008-12-17T12:35:00.000-05:00

I'm sure I've already posted this, but the paper its printed out on is turning kind of tissue papery ... so I thought just in case I need to have this in MY BLOG.

1) Point north.

2) What time is sunset today?

3) Trace the water you drink from rainfall to your tap.

4) When you flush, where do the solids go? What happens to the waste water?

5) How many feet above sea level are you?

6) What spring wildflower is consistently among the first to bloom here?

7) How far do you have to travel before you reach a different watershed? Can you draw the boundaries of yours?

8) Is the soil under your feet, more clay, sand, rock or silt?

9) Before your tribe lived here, what did the previous inhabitants eat and how did they sustain themselves?

10) Name five native edible plants in your neighborhood and the season(s) they are available.

11) From what direction do storms generally come?

12) Where does your garbage go?

13) How many people live in your watershed?

14) Who uses the paper/plastic you recycle from your neighborhood?

15) Point to where the sun sets on the equinox. How about sunrise on the summer solstice?

16) Where is the nearest earthquake fault? When did it last move?

17) Right here, how deep do you have to drill before you reach water?

18) Which (if any) geological features in your watershed are, or were, especially respected by your community, or considered sacred, now or in the past?

19) How many days is the growing season here (from frost to frost)?

20) Name five birds that live here. Which are migratory and which stay put?

21) What was the total rainfall here last year?

22) Where does the pollution in your air come from?

23) If you live near the ocean, when is high tide today?

24) What primary geological processes or events shaped the land here?

25) Name three wild species that were not found here 500 years ago. Name one exotic species that has appeared in the last 5 years.

26) What minerals are found in the ground here that are (or were) economically valuable?

27) Where does your electric power come from and how is it generated?

28) After the rain runs off your roof, where does it go?

29) Where is the nearest wilderness? When was the last time a fire burned through it?

30) How many days till the moon is full?

The Bigger Here Bonus Questions:

31) What species once found here are known to have gone extinct?

32) What other cities or landscape features on the planet share your latitude?

33) What was the dominant land cover plant here 10,000 years ago?

34) Name two places on different continents that have similar sunshine/rainfall/wind and temperature patterns to here.

Source: Kevin Kelly - Help Wanted

like books are so much better than movies

2008-12-15T22:38:00.000-05:00

I sometimes read Entertainment Weekly and I SWEAR I've never seen them give a book anything lower than a B-; I'm sure they didnt give Larry The Cable Guy anything higher than a C. WTF? Are books somehow 'better' than movies in general? Why the bias? I'm just saying that I've read some D's and F's.

2008-12-15T13:48:00.000-05:00

Edward Lifesize Standup poster

Nothing says "fan" like a cardboard lifesize cut out.

Back to normal-ish

2008-12-12T14:37:00.000-05:00

Dont you love adding the suffix -ish to other words?? I also think its fairly multi-faceted: can add a drastic measure of non-commitment to a statement (I'm ready-ish; just let me get my things together), can replace "I dont mean to be rude but ..." (She's ugly-ish), and sometimes doesnt change the word at all but is just there to provide colour to the thing (Late-ish).

Well, I got back from Dallas and Houston TX. That was FUN times :D I'm planning a trip to Puerto Vallarta next July. We are basically going to camp out in some cabanas with no electricity. Thank god they'll be running water.

Okay let's talk about Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Mormonism links. I dont have the books with me or anything. So this is off memory.
-I see a major one in that Edward pesters Bella to marry him before he'll change her into a vampire. Or boink her.
-Also, Carlisle talks about how he hopes he has a soul even though he's a vampire. And Im pretty sure LDS people think that humans (even if they are cloned or whatnot) have souls. I want to say they think EVERY living thing has a soul ... but I dont know if they believe bacteria and such have souls.
-Also while Bella and Edward are talking in Book 3, Stephenie Meyer italicized eternity in relation to Edward and Bella being together. HMMMMMMMMMM
- This one is far reaching, but I kind of thought of genealogy while Jacob and Billy and Quil were talking about their tribe's history.

My personal future Twilight movie thoughts.
- I wish they would recast Jacob
- I hope they have 3 different directors for the next 3 movies. Why not? I mean, it would be really cool to see their different takes on the book series but yet still have that common theme of Bella and Edward being forever in love.
- Im expecting the special effects of people shifting into werewolves sucking. UGH. I hope they dont have the same CGI studio that did 10,000 BC doing the next movies. Wolves and things with fur look SO CRAPPY on CGI! UGHHHHH. They didnt do a good job in Twilight with Edward's sparkle.
- And I thought Robert Patterson looked cute when he looked like he was pooping when Kristen Stewart sat next to him in Biology.

So there.

PS. Im not done with book 3 so dont tell me what happens suckers.

do it!

2008-11-24T13:40:00.000-05:00

I got this book from amazon called listography. And save yourself the ten bucks, they have a website, folks!

http://listography.com/nikirtehsuxlol

post a comment with your listography link if you make one, so I can stalk you :D or we can favorite each other :D :D :D :D okay yeah bye.

what i have my eye on

2008-11-19T12:42:00.000-05:00

Okay I recently got this hankering for a Nintendo DS Lite (and recently being after my friend let me play hers).

Here it is a WalMart for $150 for the DS Lite, 2 games (out of a preselected 17 - Id get the Uno and Sonic but thats just me), and a choice of 1 of 2 Accessory Starter kits (Mario Red or PRincess Peach, meh): http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10730454

And I also kind of want a Mac.

So I can be one of these people.

umm wtf, niki?

2008-11-18T10:52:00.000-05:00

I found the following list on my desk. It's in my handwriting yet I dont know the context and I have no clue why I wrote all that mess.

TRUE CHANGE!
racism
civil rights
dirty politics
True STUFF!
Anonymous ~~letters~~ bulletins
blatant lies by politicians

AND NOW YOU KNOW.

acing that interview!

2008-11-14T15:21:00.000-05:00

I work in a technical type job and went through a string of interviewing about 20-30 college age kids. I am completely not the best interviewer but here is some stuff I didnt dig during interviews.

1. I dont care if YOU just want to work here part time. I dont care if I just want you for part time position, but you need to pretend like you’re enthused or excited about the job. Not crack happy, but just interested.

2. On the flip side, I dont want someone who needs the job TOO much. Please dont bring up your grandmother’s sob story or how you might lose your house. It comes off as desperate. Take that story to the McDs or BK. They might go for it.

3. If I am asking you different questions, bring up a sports story ONCE. Jeez. I dont need to hear about the time you showed leadership out on the soccer field. And then this other time you solved a problem by kicking to the right winger versus the forward. (This one kid answered questions like that, and he had a freakin 4.27 GPA and never once brought up any sort of academic achievements!).

4. Be confident in your answers, but dont be cocky. Im not going to hire an a*shole.

5. Dress to impress. Even though I dress in jeans - for the interview, I want to see you looking professional.

6. If you are going to work at a location temporarily, dont mention that in the interview. No one wants to invest time (ie, MONEY) into training an employee who is going to leave 6 months down the road. So if I ask you about 6 month plans - dont say you might want to move to Virginia or Brazil.

7. Bring up an odd hobby or something if a question pops up. To differentiate.

8. When we ask you about your bad qualities, dont bring up any type of bad qualities that might insinuate you arent cooperative or a team player. No one wants to hire an a*shole.

9. I ask questions specifically about how the potential hiree handles repetitive boring tasks. I want an answer how they can find joy in that. I dont want them to say, "oh yeah, that is not really fun." A good answer might be, "Tasks like that help me learn what I’m doing really well" and/or "I like to work on the same thing because I can see the ways I continually improve. I dont mind repetitive tasks."

10. Speak in complete sentences. No gangsta hick shiat.

11. Answer the specific question, try not to babble on and on or go off on tangents.

12. Overqualified people I tend not to hire because A. I dont want them trying to tell me what to do or "we did so and so at the other job" and B. I dont want them taking over my position. So if you were managment and you are going for a lower position, (depending on who youre talking to), I would adjust your resume. If you are talking to a potential DIRECT superior - I would dumb the resume down. If you are talking to THEIR boss, I might keep it as is in case they are looking to replace that position eventually. Office politics, y’know.

13. If I make a statement on how it is extremely important to NOT fake data and how that is a fireable offense - LISTEN. If you want, mention a sentence or two how you have acted in the past to agree with the statement I just made so I know you heard and understood me, but do NOT start babbling.

best flickr photostream i've seen today

2008-11-14T11:34:00.000-05:00

http://flickr.com/photos/fultonallday

great moments in laziness

2008-11-11T12:13:00.000-05:00

My roommate's dog totally puked in front me when I was in the kitchen.

I totally didnt clean it up and here's why.

A. Shes not my dog (but she's so cute anyways!).
B. She puked on linoleum.
C. And I make little hairball gagging motions when I clean up dog/cat puke.

I think those are all very valid reasons. So I stand by my decision.

nihilistic what?

2008-11-10T11:44:00.000-05:00

I talked with this guy at the Drunken Unicorn on Saturday. And he was a little plastered. And he is a Philosophy major. And in true Philosophy major fashion, he says, "I dont believe in anything. My mind is a jumbled mess. I'm so nihilistic, if it werent for my two cats and family, I'd kill myself."

I totally laughed on the inside, I could hardly help myself. But on the outside, I was a stone cold listener.

His friend, equally plastered, was like, "Naw dude, dont say that." And it just sound so disingenuous when you have about 6 Budweiser's in your system.

Oh, and then on Sunday, my roommate asks if he can move my car. Of course he can, I'm brushing my teeth. And I go out there and see A BUS IN THE BACKYARD! When girls splurge, they buy clothes. When guy's splurge, they buy a bus.

It has blue squirrels on it. I think it used to be a nature bus.

Hey, I might get published

2008-10-30T10:17:00.000-04:00

I'm going to be pretty discreet until I actually get the book in my hand bc I dont want to stick my foot in my mouth.

But I submitted a 500 word work of AWESOMENESS and it might be going into a book. I should be getting a free t-shirt in the mail as well. I mainly submitted the story for the free tshirt. I am starting to think I will do a lot of stupid things for a free tshirt. (ie, sell my vote, spend time writing a 500 word story on something I know nothing about, etc).

why I like alias - if I was in middle school

2008-10-28T13:40:00.000-04:00

I really like Alias. Sydney Bristow is really troubled. But sometimes she wears cool costumes. She pretends to be a smart librarian, dumb gambler's wife, or a prostitute. Sydney cries a lot for a super spy. Her windmill kick is supreme.

Arvin Sloane is really smart. He probably has read War and Peace like five times he's so smart. His wife died and that was sad. Sydney does not like him but I would probably forgive him. Sydney needs to let the past go. It's not Arvin's fault he killed Sydney's fiancee and lied to her about working for the CIA. Jeez. Just let some things go Sydney and you might be happier.

Jack Bristow is Sydney's dad. He is always cool under pressure and a great liar. I think he has flapper hair from the 1920's because he looks like he has a finger wave on the right side.

I like Marshall, the computer nerd Tech guy. He always says tacky things but in an innocent way. People in the CIA/SD-6 say, "Marshall ...." and he knows to get to the point because he tends to ramble. I have a personal liking for Marshall because he resembles Peter Dinklage my favorite midget.

Marshall

My favorite midget - Peter D.

Vote for sale

2008-10-27T11:21:00.000-04:00

I am really uninspired by who the republicrats are offering for us to choose for president. Not feeling Obama; not feeling McCain.

And so I prayed. And I told Heavenly Father that He could have my vote. But I dont think He really cares either bc Im not feeling a nudge either way.

So a day later someone who shall remain nameless tells me that if I vote for Nader, he'd give me $15! But I said, "How about a free t-shirt?" And he said, "Okay." So the only thing that could mess up me getting a free t-shirt would be prophecy or not knowing how to write-in Nader. Since I'm no prophet or no dummy, I foresee a free t-shirt in my future (which is a prophetic statement, ironically).

PS. At least by voting 3rd party, they (whoever "they" are) can see that the two party system isnt cutting it for some.

2008-10-15T10:17:00.000-04:00

Hollywood might be out of new ideas but its not like the old ones are that bad.

2008-10-09T09:06:00.000-04:00

SPOILER ALERT (if you have never seen a chick flick and dont know how they end, ie, if you're slow).

Made of Honor

Yes, the guy has this best friend who he has never looked at in that way.

Yes, the best friend gets engaged to someone else and the guy all of a sudden really really wants her. (Somehow he stops being a man-whore at will).

Yes, the guy plays basketball with his friends. I mean, "shoots some hoops".

Yes, the groom-to-be is way awesome and the guy only has his personality to sexually combat the groom.

Yes, the guy loses his confidence and decides last minute to not show up at the wedding.

Yes, the guy has a change of heart and has to race to the wedding to get there in time.

Yes, the guy crashes the wedding just in time.

Yes, the guy confesses his love in an awkward "all I have to give is myself" speech.

Yes, the girl runs into the guy's arms and kiss.

Yes, the guy gets punched by the groom.

Oh man, just once, I would LOVE for the guy to not get the girl and be depressed and drink beer and have lots of meaningless sex for the rest of his life. Sigh. But Jack Bauer will defeat the terrorist and the citizen helping him will die and all is right in the world.

Yahoo bad news

2008-10-06T09:59:00.000-04:00

Man, the news at the bottom really sucks.

Especially that part about Robert Downey Jr. being in a Sherlock Holmes movie.
A video of it too?
*shudders*

Yogapalooza

2008-10-04T15:28:00.000-04:00

.. was awesome this morning!

We were outside and I still have a dead bug smeared across my arm because I actually got him when I tried to swat him away. If I was a guy, it would have been all in my arm hair! RAWR I would be sooooo lord of the flies if I was a guy with dead bug in my arm hair.

So we were outside. Karen, the instructor was facing the sun. She was a lot sweatier than we were. But it was so great because you were warmed up and could get really into the poses! Exclamation point! They also had the mats laying out and had a bottle of SmartWater next to the mat for us. And Heather came with and she did yoga too.

Crunch also had real people doing music in the background. There were a violin player, a cello player, 3 back up singers, a singer, maracas type things player, and a bongo dude. Most of the people in the group were black women but the bongo player was this old white dude. Pretty random. But with the music, the grass, the sun, and the sky, I just felt so darn granola during the experience.

During Savasana, I'd be all relaxed and then a bug would land on my arm, in my ear. Thanks bug.

Afterwards, I learned how to do a deeper backbend. FUN.

Then Heather let me drop her off and showed me her room (and her apartment in general ....). She said it was messy, but I dont think she's ever seen my room to get a good perspective on the relativeness of "messy".

Great moments in Netflix reviewing

2008-10-04T15:06:00.000-04:00

I dont particularly like writing movie reviews but I find myself doing it anyways. Most of my reviews arent that in depth either. I'm moreso from a middle schooler perspective. Most of my Netflix reviews have more people who find them helpful than not helpful though.

Here are excerpts from two of the less well liked by Netflix ones.

River's Edge

John, this hulking tall kid, kills this girl for making fun of his mom or something. And then he shows his friends and they basically have these very lackluster reactions. No one is scared, no one freaks out, and no one even thinks its incredibly cool. Crispin Glover's character tries to hide the body. The actual murderer John doesnt seem to care if he gets caught or not. He seriously acts like a walking brick. Keanu Reeve's brother in the movie is that annoying little brother from Teen Witch ("A DOG! A DOG! A DOG!"). Crispin Glover is this schizoid freak who just drives around, tries to smoke weed, and hide that girl's body. I didnt feel for any of the characters nor did I care for their plight. I am all for the disaffected youth movies, but this was just annoying and boring to watch.

I still stand by my review. This movie sucked. Crispin Glover was a freakin SPAZ in it. And its not like Willard was that great of a movie either if we're being honest with ourselves.
Anyways, I think my review was helpful. Now 2/7 people should think its helpful. And one of those 2 is me.

The next review is from The Girl Next Door. I think people were turned off by the last part of my review. But the police should take my advice, I know a classy pedophile flick when I see it. And this movie was not it.

The Girl Next Door

I'll start off and say that I liked the sepia overtone look of the film. The beginning scene seemed kind of intriguing. That being said, if you are going to do a movie concerning this subject matter of child abuse/molestation, then you better do it well. Not only was the acting sucky (with exception of the Aunt Ruth), but the character's were extremely flat and one-sided as well. During the last scene, I could hardly understand the actors because they were mumbling. How the cop handled the situation seemed very implausible. It seemed like they tried to shock you (and you should be) but you were shocked solely from the subject matter and not from the way it was brought across the screen. I personally think this movie didnt bring to light the story of child abuse/molestation but used those to show how children could be used in a sexual way. If your husband or a male in your life really likes this movie and watches it a lot at night, do the world a favor and turn in their computer harddrive to the cops.

I wont even start with 10,000 BC. YOU CAN SEE THE CAVEWOMAN'S MASCARA IN THE MOVIE! WHAT CAVEWOMAN WORE MASCARA IN 10,000 BC??!

EDIT: looking back on the member's reviews on Netflix about The Girl Next Door ... WTF? They like it? The acting and the movie SUCKED. Along with the content, the writing sucked, the acting sucked ... *hits head on desk. I think they HAD money to make the movie, they just didnt use it very well.

"This movie is so disturbing I actually threw up." 19/26 people found this helpful? My review is WAY better.

I like this guy though ... "If you've ever thought, "I really enjoyed 'Carrie', but there just wasn't enough ABUSE!", this movie is for you." HAHA!

Now I'm just being ridiculous

2008-10-03T23:18:00.000-04:00

dont you think if you know how to put your pictures on the computer ("IN the computer?" - Zoolander) that you might take the extra effort to learn how to rotate them as well before you start posting them on the world wide web?

HOT HINT: Its the triangle thing that looks like its falling over ... click it until your picture looks right side up (ie, in most cases - face higher than groin, blue at top/green or brown closer to the keyboard ...).