Im cleaning out my room really hardcore. Getting rid of all those pesky cool clothes I never wear. I always wear ugly tshirts though. So those will stay. You cant fight who you are and if you like cheap stuff, doggonit, then you should embrace it. But I did get rid of white tshirts that had the yellow pit stains. bc thats just guhhhrosss.
So I cleaned out my dresser and got rid of two target bags worth of stuff.
And then I went through one bin of jeans and got rid of two bags of stuff.
I got rid of some name brand stuff I could have sold at Plato's Closet. Mistakingly I gave them to LeighAnn who says she can fit into my size. I personally think she's a lying liar. So did everyone else in the office.
Anyways, I think that would be really neat if I could have the amount of stuff that a boy had in his room.
Thats my goal.
(I dont know how Im fighting consumerism by not re-wearing my clothes. Seems like Im contributing to the trashy stuff in the Goodwill stores.)
April 24, 2008
Quick thing I learned about exercising from the atlanta sports mag while I was in the bathroom
3 part lower intensity:1 part high intensity
In terms of cardio stuff.
I seem to always workout on the treadmill and not know how long to run hardcore for. I usually just wait until I get tired and then I look at the treadmill time or calorie burned area and slow down when one of those gets to a nice, round likable number.
capiece?
In terms of cardio stuff.
I seem to always workout on the treadmill and not know how long to run hardcore for. I usually just wait until I get tired and then I look at the treadmill time or calorie burned area and slow down when one of those gets to a nice, round likable number.
capiece?
April 19, 2008
Im glad I went.
My grandmother's funeral was today.
Dont go to them.
Didnt go to my aunts funeral.
Had "plans" for this Saturday.
Annoyed.
Did my grandmother even like me?
Funeral on Saturday.
Why not on Monday?
I could have gotten off work.
Did I love her? Do I love her?
Saw her.
White casket.
With light pink blankets.
A doll sitting in the casket.
Granny loved dolls.
Twinge.
Do I love her?
Hug relatives.
Am surprisingly happy to hug relatives.
Happy that I am happy.
Funeral starts.
Old old woman sings.
Craggy voice.
Sweet, Southern craggy voice.
I cry.
And cry.
I cry on Mick.
I cry because I care.
I cry because I know I care.
No obituary for my grandmother.
We are the witnesses of her life.
The only living record.
She cared for the elderly.
I remember her telling me to bring dinner over to Pauline.
Sweet Pauline.
With the chair that raised and lowered
For Pauline.
She worked at KFC.
KFC was around then?
Aunt Rose looked great.
We gather round the casket.
I kiss her forehead.
Her cold cold forehead.
And feel warmth.
And outside,
The trees are beautiful.
The sun is shining.
The wind is cool.
A catepillar lands on my skirt.
I see all my relatives.
The ones who I had already sentenced.
I see them cry.
And care.
And love.
I see that I loved too.
I really did love my grandmother.
I cant write what I want to write. So Im writing the experience in shorter terms. So maybe one day I can rewrite it better. But in case I dont, there's something here to remind me of this day. I really didnt think I loved my relatives more than anything beyond duty. And love for the sake of duty, is that really love? But, today, I felt love and concern that wasnt forced. And I felt bad for missing out on Aunt Denise's funeral. And also today, I grieved but it was all refreshing too. I really felt that this life is truly beautiful and wonderful.
A Visitor by Mary Oliver
My father, for example,
who was young once
and blue-eyed,
returns
on the darkest of nights
to the porch and knocks
wildly at the door,
and if I answer
I must be prepared
for his waxy face,
for his lower lip
swollen with bitterness.
And so, for a long time,
I did not answer,
but slept fitfully
between his hours of rapping.
But finally there came the night
when I rose out of my sheets
and stumbled down the hall.
The door fell open
and I knew I was saved
and could bear him,
pathetic and hollow,
with even the least of his dreams
frozen inside him,
and the meanness gone.
And I greeted him and asked him
into the house,
and lit the lamp,
and looked into his blank eyes
in which at last
I saw what a child must love,
I saw what love might have done
had we loved in time.
Dont go to them.
Didnt go to my aunts funeral.
Had "plans" for this Saturday.
Annoyed.
Did my grandmother even like me?
Funeral on Saturday.
Why not on Monday?
I could have gotten off work.
Did I love her? Do I love her?
Saw her.
White casket.
With light pink blankets.
A doll sitting in the casket.
Granny loved dolls.
Twinge.
Do I love her?
Hug relatives.
Am surprisingly happy to hug relatives.
Happy that I am happy.
Funeral starts.
Old old woman sings.
Craggy voice.
Sweet, Southern craggy voice.
I cry.
And cry.
I cry on Mick.
I cry because I care.
I cry because I know I care.
No obituary for my grandmother.
We are the witnesses of her life.
The only living record.
She cared for the elderly.
I remember her telling me to bring dinner over to Pauline.
Sweet Pauline.
With the chair that raised and lowered
For Pauline.
She worked at KFC.
KFC was around then?
Aunt Rose looked great.
We gather round the casket.
I kiss her forehead.
Her cold cold forehead.
And feel warmth.
And outside,
The trees are beautiful.
The sun is shining.
The wind is cool.
A catepillar lands on my skirt.
I see all my relatives.
The ones who I had already sentenced.
I see them cry.
And care.
And love.
I see that I loved too.
I really did love my grandmother.
I cant write what I want to write. So Im writing the experience in shorter terms. So maybe one day I can rewrite it better. But in case I dont, there's something here to remind me of this day. I really didnt think I loved my relatives more than anything beyond duty. And love for the sake of duty, is that really love? But, today, I felt love and concern that wasnt forced. And I felt bad for missing out on Aunt Denise's funeral. And also today, I grieved but it was all refreshing too. I really felt that this life is truly beautiful and wonderful.
A Visitor by Mary Oliver
My father, for example,
who was young once
and blue-eyed,
returns
on the darkest of nights
to the porch and knocks
wildly at the door,
and if I answer
I must be prepared
for his waxy face,
for his lower lip
swollen with bitterness.
And so, for a long time,
I did not answer,
but slept fitfully
between his hours of rapping.
But finally there came the night
when I rose out of my sheets
and stumbled down the hall.
The door fell open
and I knew I was saved
and could bear him,
pathetic and hollow,
with even the least of his dreams
frozen inside him,
and the meanness gone.
And I greeted him and asked him
into the house,
and lit the lamp,
and looked into his blank eyes
in which at last
I saw what a child must love,
I saw what love might have done
had we loved in time.
April 16, 2008
ADJUSTS TIN FOIL HAT
Okay so yesterday I heard Zoey barking and Im like "OMG STFU DOG". But then I go and peek out my window to see what she’s barking at.
And I see this dude peeking in our mailbox.
Normally, Id be like "whatevvvvv" because we already got our mail (but I was still kinda annoyed because I was like WHAT IF HE’S TRYING TO STEAL OUR NETFLIX??!! I like how I have no initial concern whatsoever for the government rebate checks ....). Anyways, it was just weird because it wasnt a black or mexican dude. But a tall white guy. (I know that sounds racist, but its just not the makeup of our neighborhood. It would be like seeing the Dali Llama in Beijing, it could happen, but its just not going to.). No, its this preppy ass dude looking in our mailbox and just hanging out at the end of the driveway (near MY car probably adding a tracker or cutting the brakes).
So I go outside and the guy is talking on his cellphone and says my roommate’s name and says he’ll talk to him later. (Keep in my mind that my roommate doesnt talk to preppy people). Then I realize Im blatantly staring at the guy (soooo uncouth) so I walk to my car and pretend to get something out of it (quick thinking, dick tracy!). The preppy guy saunters off to his car and drives off.
I talked to my roommate and he said that he wasnt talking to anyone at that time. I’m going to confirm this with my roommate’s cellphone call log and if my roommate doesnt have a message from this dildo that was snooping in our bu’ness, I guess I’ll report him. Or something.
I have some of his driver’s plate number and the description of his car.
Honestly, the guy was in really good shape and kinda hot. Homeland security? NSA? Maybe he’ll come back and waterboard my heart?!
And I see this dude peeking in our mailbox.
Normally, Id be like "whatevvvvv" because we already got our mail (but I was still kinda annoyed because I was like WHAT IF HE’S TRYING TO STEAL OUR NETFLIX??!! I like how I have no initial concern whatsoever for the government rebate checks ....). Anyways, it was just weird because it wasnt a black or mexican dude. But a tall white guy. (I know that sounds racist, but its just not the makeup of our neighborhood. It would be like seeing the Dali Llama in Beijing, it could happen, but its just not going to.). No, its this preppy ass dude looking in our mailbox and just hanging out at the end of the driveway (near MY car probably adding a tracker or cutting the brakes).
So I go outside and the guy is talking on his cellphone and says my roommate’s name and says he’ll talk to him later. (Keep in my mind that my roommate doesnt talk to preppy people). Then I realize Im blatantly staring at the guy (soooo uncouth) so I walk to my car and pretend to get something out of it (quick thinking, dick tracy!). The preppy guy saunters off to his car and drives off.
I talked to my roommate and he said that he wasnt talking to anyone at that time. I’m going to confirm this with my roommate’s cellphone call log and if my roommate doesnt have a message from this dildo that was snooping in our bu’ness, I guess I’ll report him. Or something.
I have some of his driver’s plate number and the description of his car.
Honestly, the guy was in really good shape and kinda hot. Homeland security? NSA? Maybe he’ll come back and waterboard my heart?!
April 15, 2008
Team Building
It's important to remember that abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into. We become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions. When you can't have what you want, it's time to start wanting what you have. Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. A person who follows in another's track leaves no footprints. Thus, the task is not so much to see what no one yet has seen, but to think what nobody yet has thought about that which everybody sees.
Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. Every step is an end, and every step is a fresh beginning. In fact, the beginning is the most important part of the work.
Leadership is based on inspiration, not domination; on cooperation, not intimidation. The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The Leader adjusts the sails. The important thing in life is not the victory but the contest; the essential thing is not to have won but to have fought well. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act. And the manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured. There is no failure except in no longer trying. Commitment is the key to unlocking the door to your dreams! You must commit to your goals. Cut the im out of impossible, leading that dynamic word standing out free and clear - possible.
Hope is a waking dream. There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscience effort. Life does not have meaning through mere existence or acquisition or fun. The meaning of life is inherent in the connections we make to others through honor and obligation. I may not be a smart man but I know what love is. Love is a wonderful thing. You never have to take it away from one person to give it to another. There's always more than enough to go around. And the greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
Now get on that zip line, Ethel. Get on that zip line and fly.
Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. Every step is an end, and every step is a fresh beginning. In fact, the beginning is the most important part of the work.
Leadership is based on inspiration, not domination; on cooperation, not intimidation. The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The Leader adjusts the sails. The important thing in life is not the victory but the contest; the essential thing is not to have won but to have fought well. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act. And the manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured. There is no failure except in no longer trying. Commitment is the key to unlocking the door to your dreams! You must commit to your goals. Cut the im out of impossible, leading that dynamic word standing out free and clear - possible.
Hope is a waking dream. There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscience effort. Life does not have meaning through mere existence or acquisition or fun. The meaning of life is inherent in the connections we make to others through honor and obligation. I may not be a smart man but I know what love is. Love is a wonderful thing. You never have to take it away from one person to give it to another. There's always more than enough to go around. And the greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
Now get on that zip line, Ethel. Get on that zip line and fly.
April 10, 2008
Future Unsuccesful killer (fark.com Pocket Ninja)
I have a feeling I've met the guy who wrote this blog. He's a skinny little fellow who always sits alone at the lunch table and tells himself that he's better than everyone else and doesn't want their miserable company because they're all such sheeple. Then he finishes his lunch and has to pick up his tray off the floor because some total jerk bumps into him and knocks everything down and all those stupid, stupid SHEEPLE laugh like the stupid SHEEPLE they are. Then, on his way to his locker, that cute girl in his geometry class, which he's only repeating this semester because he was so bored in the last class, I mean, good God, the teacher was such a mouth-breathing sheeple moron, but anyway that cute girl smiles at him from across the hall and his heart starts to beat a little faster even though she's standing beside that total douche of a quarterback who's like, such a mouthbreather, I mean, really, people like that should just be neutered at birth, stupid sheeple, but the girl smiles and so he slows down and pushes his glasses up on his nose and waves but then realizes she wasn't smiling at him but at her loud friend behind him, the one with the platinum blonde hair who's a total whore which is why he's never tried to sleep with her and never would, thank you. And so he turns his wave into brushing lint off his Battlestar Galactica t-shirt, which has totally been signed by the whole cast, and goes to his locker and slams it shut and saunters out of the building to go home and write another blog post because this world just totally sucks and is filled with mouth-breathing sheeple and then he masturbates himself to a teary climax and falls asleep in the warm, sticky comfort of his own spooge.
February 27, 2008
Millionaire Matchmaker's Top 15 Rules for Men
1 ) Thou shalt think quality, not quantity!
It is best to take your time and focus on finding the right women for you, not on dating as many hotties as you possibly can. Your membership will be much more valuable to you if you use it to find your life partner, rather than to facilitate rabid serial dating. Word about that will spread, and women will not want to date you.
2 ) Thou shalt call a lady within 48 hours on a weekday or 72 hours on a weekend or holiday once you get her number.
The sooner, the better, as she’ll be expecting your call. If you don’t connect on the first try, be sure to leave her one or more telephone numbers at which she can reach you. If you don’t hear back from her within 48 hours on a week day, or 72 hours on a weekend. Never ask a woman out on a first date via e-mail. Remember women are auditory and fall in love “through their ears.” A woman will bond with you more quickly if she can hear your voice.
3 ) Thou shalt not call a lady after 10:00 p.m., her time.
Until you have spoken a few times, met, and established some sort of rapport, calling too late at the beginning of a potential relationship is presumptuous and rude.
4 ) Thou shalt leave a maximum of two phone messages for a woman.
If she doesn’t call you back within 48 hours on a weekday or 72 hours on a weekend or holiday, she’s not interested. Don’t take it personally; just move on. If you’re curious, you can contact MC via email and MC will discreetly find out what happened and report back. But always remember: There are a lot more yachts in the marina.
5 ) Thou shalt make appropriate arrangements, and not ask a woman out at the last minute
Make the first date at least a week in advance, then call her on the morning of the date before 12 noon to confirm. Feel free to call every few days before that, however, just to let her know you’re thinking about her and are excited about your date. Women love to fantasize about their date and about what they’re going to wear. They make appointments to get their hair and nails done. If you ask them out at the last minute, you’ve taken away the joy of anticipation for the woman. Women generally make their plans from Monday through Wednesday for the following weekend, so if you call on Thursday or later to ask her out for the weekend, understand that she has probably already made plans and will not be available, except perhaps, for brunch. You also might get a Monday night date which means you are on her low priority list simply because you did not ask her out in advance. For your first date you must always ask to pick her up for dinner and take her to a five star restaurant. Because you might be dating a younger woman than yourself you are expected to teach her the finer things that life has to offer. Don’t be offended if she suggests lunch, brunch, drinks or coffee instead of dinner for the first date (only she can suggest this for the first date, however, you must always offer her a 5 star dinner) after all; she hasn’t met you yet and doesn’t know how wonderful you are.
6 ) Thou shalt always have a plan for your date.
Women prefer men who have direction. When you make your initial phone call, try to develop rapport with the woman and gather information about her likes and dislikes. Conversations should always be a tennis match of back and forth. Do not interrogate your potential date about her physical looks or age on the phone or in person If you want to make a great first impression, suggest her favorite restaurant or a restaurant she has always wanted to try. Never show up with the question “What do you want to do?” This shows that you do not cherish her feelings, and that she is not a priority in your life. Make a reservation at a five-star restaurant (remember: you’re a millionaire, and she’ll be expecting the best). If necessary, also make the appropriate transportation arrangements. Always go to her side of town either pick her up, send a car for her, or drive/fly into her city. You must go to her, for the following reasons: 1) The woman needs to feel safe in her own environment. 2) If you fly her in on a first date and neither of you feel chemistry, most likely you will be stuck with an unwelcome guest for the weekend. If, after the first date you both feel chemistry and you would like her to visit you, you can fly her in but you must put her up at a five-star hotel with her own room. Finally, plan to pay for her valet parking if you have arrived in separate cars, or pay for her taxi. If you are invited with another couple to dinner, be prepared to pick up the entire check. You will come off looking like a prince to your date and her friends.
7 ) Thou shalt focus on your date and keep the conversation appropriate.
Start the date with a heartfelt compliment on her appearance, such as “You look really beautiful tonight!” Look into her eyes with a smile -- eye contact is extremely important, and then lead the discussion into areas of common interest --- travel, sports, work, arts, etc. Try to stay on relatively neutral subjects at the outset. Please turn your cell phone off at all times unless you are a doctor on call or you have children that may need to get in touch with you in case of an emergency. If you are waiting on an important call that needs your utmost attention please put your phone on vibrate, let your date know what is going on and then excuse yourself for a short period of time to take the call. If you answer the phone during the course of the meal you will come off as a rude and callous man who is only interested in himself.DO NOT pay attention to other women, or keep looking at the door for the latest attraction. If she sees you behave like this, no matter how good looking, wealthy, and smart you are, she will not want to see you again. Also, do not ask her why she is still single or hasn’t yet found a husband. This is an extremely awkward question, and is a quick turnoff to most women. Please remember that emotionally healthy women fall in love with men that fall in love with them.
8 ) Thou shalt ask a woman thoughtful questions.
This indicates you are genuinely interested in her. Topics may include light questions about her family, where she grew up, etc. A good conversation should be like a tennis match, with lots of back and forth volleys. Do your best to keep up the witty repartee. Also, remember to keep away from controversial topics, including family troubles, religion, politics and your own emotional baggage. Never bring up the ex. If your date asks, simply say it didn't work out and change the subject. Remember: she's not your therapist! These types of conversations convince your date that you have unresolved issues with your ex, and that you are irreparably damaged indicating that you are not ready for a relationship.
9 ) Thou shalt not drink too much.
Although it is certainly tempting, it will cloud your judgment, and will probably give your date a negative impression of you. It also might impede your ability to drive her home. Remember to keep it to a 2-drink maximum even if you can hold a larger amount of liquor.
10 ) Thou shalt not brag or discuss other women
Don't brag about your accomplishments, career successes or prized possessions, no matter how deservedly proud you may feel. And definitely do not talk about other women. You wouldn't want to hear about other desirable men she has in her life, would you? Word spreads quickly, and if you get a reputation for discussing other women in the club and your relationship with them, fewer women will want to date you.
11 ) Thou shalt be a gentleman.
The basics of common courtesy include: open car and restaurant/club doors for her; let her walk ahead of you into the dining area; stand up when she comes to the table; don't stare at her below the neck; watch your table manners and don't be too physical on the first date. The club prohibits any male member from asking a woman to pay for anything; however, female members know that after dating a man four times, they must give back in some small way.For example; We suggest the women make the man a home cooked meal, bake cookies for him to take to work or clean out his closet, etc... If, after dating a woman more than four times, she does not offer to do anything nice to you and you feel in some way you are being taken advantage of, please e-mail the club so that we can remedy the situation in a discreet manner, to help bring you closer together.
12 ) Thou shalt be sincere in your offers.
Don't bring up the subject of high-end jewelry or clothing designers or offer to take her shopping unless you really mean it and intend to pay for the items she selects. The same holds true regarding offers to take her on nice trips. Do not be offended if she suggests getting separate rooms if you are not in a monogamous relationship. This does not mean she is not interested, but rather it means that she is a lady and is not prepared to have sex unless you are both involved an exclusive/monogamous relationship together.
13 ) Thou shalt not become too intimate on the first date.
Give the lady only a hug or a gentle kiss at the end of the first date. There's plenty of time for the physical stuff later, so don't push it. If you're from out of town, do not invite the lady up to your hotel room to have a nightcap or admire the view, she may misinterpret your invitation. Slower is better at the beginning, because that enhances the possibility of a long lasting relationship that will not burn out quickly.
14 ) Thou shalt not play games.
Games include not calling for more than two days, talking only about yourself, or feigning only moderate interest (example: "I'm dating several women right now and keeping my options open" --- even if that's true). The reason that so many people are not in relationships that last is because of follow-up is often ignored. Don't expect to disappear on a woman for two weeks after the first date and get a warm reception on the phone when you call. Women with self-esteem love and respect themselves, and are attracted to men who genuinely like and display interest in them. Games also include encouraging a woman to move in with you when you are not married or engaged with a date set.When people live together the romance goes out the window and they no longer feel the need to work on problems. When an issue comes up that is difficult its often easier to leave before seeking a therapist. Leading a woman on for an extensive length of time is also considered game playing. Women over 30 with high self esteem will not generally be involved in an exclusive relationship for more than a year without an engagement ring and a wedding date being set. Women simply do not have the luxury of time, as men do. The ultimate way for you to show your love for a woman is to ask her to marry you. The ultimate way for a woman to show her love for you is to accept your proposal.
15 ) Thou shalt not expect a lady to initiate a telephone call to you after your first few dates.
If she does, great --- but better to be surprised than disappointed. Women expect you to initiate the calls until you are dating exclusively. This is considered good form. If a woman thanked you at the end of the date, do not expect her to call and thank you later. This is considered chasing, and a true lady will not do it. Men often get angry that women do not call them after a date or assume the connection has broken between them. This could not be further from the truth. Women are afraid to call until they feel they know you for the simple reason you might be on a date or have a female over at your house and therefore she would be interupting you.
It is best to take your time and focus on finding the right women for you, not on dating as many hotties as you possibly can. Your membership will be much more valuable to you if you use it to find your life partner, rather than to facilitate rabid serial dating. Word about that will spread, and women will not want to date you.
2 ) Thou shalt call a lady within 48 hours on a weekday or 72 hours on a weekend or holiday once you get her number.
The sooner, the better, as she’ll be expecting your call. If you don’t connect on the first try, be sure to leave her one or more telephone numbers at which she can reach you. If you don’t hear back from her within 48 hours on a week day, or 72 hours on a weekend. Never ask a woman out on a first date via e-mail. Remember women are auditory and fall in love “through their ears.” A woman will bond with you more quickly if she can hear your voice.
3 ) Thou shalt not call a lady after 10:00 p.m., her time.
Until you have spoken a few times, met, and established some sort of rapport, calling too late at the beginning of a potential relationship is presumptuous and rude.
4 ) Thou shalt leave a maximum of two phone messages for a woman.
If she doesn’t call you back within 48 hours on a weekday or 72 hours on a weekend or holiday, she’s not interested. Don’t take it personally; just move on. If you’re curious, you can contact MC via email and MC will discreetly find out what happened and report back. But always remember: There are a lot more yachts in the marina.
5 ) Thou shalt make appropriate arrangements, and not ask a woman out at the last minute
Make the first date at least a week in advance, then call her on the morning of the date before 12 noon to confirm. Feel free to call every few days before that, however, just to let her know you’re thinking about her and are excited about your date. Women love to fanta
6 ) Thou shalt always have a plan for your date.
Women prefer men who have direction. When you make your initial phone call, try to develop rapport with the woman and gather information about her likes and dislikes. Conversations should always be a tennis match of back and forth. Do not interrogate your potential date about her physical looks or age on the phone or in person If you want to make a great first impression, suggest her favorite restaurant or a restaurant she has always wanted to try. Never show up with the question “What do you want to do?” This shows that you do not cherish her feelings, and that she is not a priority in your life. Make a reservation at a five-star restaurant (remember: you’re a millionaire, and she’ll be expecting the best). If necessary, also make the appropriate transportation arrangements. Always go to her side of town either pick her up, send a car for her, or drive/fly into her city. You must go to her, for the following reasons: 1) The woman needs to feel safe in her own environment. 2) If you fly her in on a first date and neither of you feel chemistry, most likely you will be stuck with an unwelcome guest for the weekend. If, after the first date you both feel chemistry and you would like her to visit you, you can fly her in but you must put her up at a five-star hotel with her own room. Finally, plan to pay for her valet parking if you have arrived in separate cars, or pay for her taxi. If you are invited with another couple to dinner, be prepared to pick up the entire check. You will come off looking like a prince to your date and her friends.
7 ) Thou shalt focus on your date and keep the conversation appropriate.
Start the date with a heartfelt compliment on her appearance, such as “You look really beautiful tonight!” Look into her eyes with a smile -- eye contact is extremely important, and then lead the discussion into areas of common interest --- travel, sports, work, arts, etc. Try to stay on relatively neutral subjects at the outset. Please turn your cell phone off at all times unless you are a doctor on call or you have children that may need to get in touch with you in case of an emergency. If you are waiting on an important call that needs your utmost attention please put your phone on vibrate, let your date know what is going on and then excuse yourself for a short period of time to take the call. If you answer the phone during the course of the meal you will come off as a rude and callous man who is only interested in himself.DO NOT pay attention to other women, or keep looking at the door for the latest attraction. If she sees you behave like this, no matter how good looking, wealthy, and smart you are, she will not want to see you again. Also, do not ask her why she is still single or hasn’t yet found a husband. This is an extremely awkward question, and is a quick turnoff to most women. Please remember that emotionally healthy women fall in love with men that fall in love with them.
8 ) Thou shalt ask a woman thoughtful questions.
This indicates you are genuinely interested in her. Topics may include light questions about her family, where she grew up, etc. A good conversation should be like a tennis match, with lots of back and forth volleys. Do your best to keep up the witty repartee. Also, remember to keep away from controversial topics, including family troubles, religion, politics and your own emotional baggage. Never bring up the ex. If your date asks, simply say it didn't work out and change the subject. Remember: she's not your therapist! These types of conversations convince your date that you have unresolved issues with your ex, and that you are irreparably damaged indicating that you are not ready for a relationship.
9 ) Thou shalt not drink too much.
Although it is certainly tempting, it will cloud your judgment, and will probably give your date a negative impression of you. It also might impede your ability to drive her home. Remember to keep it to a 2-drink maximum even if you can hold a larger amount of liquor.
10 ) Thou shalt not brag or discuss other women
Don't brag about your accomplishments, career successes or prized possessions, no matter how deservedly proud you may feel. And definitely do not talk about other women. You wouldn't want to hear about other desirable men she has in her life, would you? Word spreads quickly, and if you get a reputation for discussing other women in the club and your relationship with them, fewer women will want to date you.
11 ) Thou shalt be a gentleman.
The basics of common courtesy include: open car and restaurant/club doors for her; let her walk ahead of you into the dining area; stand up when she comes to the table; don't stare at her below the neck; watch your table manners and don't be too physical on the first date. The club prohibits any male member from asking a woman to pay for anything; however, female members know that after dating a man four times, they must give back in some small way.For example; We suggest the women make the man a home cooked meal, bake cookies for him to take to work or clean out his closet, etc... If, after dating a woman more than four times, she does not offer to do anything nice to you and you feel in some way you are being taken advantage of, please e-mail the club so that we can remedy the situation in a discreet manner, to help bring you closer together.
12 ) Thou shalt be sincere in your offers.
Don't bring up the subject of high-end jewelry or clothing designers or offer to take her shopping unless you really mean it and intend to pay for the items she selects. The same holds true regarding offers to take her on nice trips. Do not be offended if she suggests getting separate rooms if you are not in a monogamous relationship. This does not mean she is not interested, but rather it means that she is a lady and is not prepared to have sex unless you are both involved an exclusive/monogamous relationship together.
13 ) Thou shalt not become too intimate on the first date.
Give the lady only a hug or a gentle kiss at the end of the first date. There's plenty of time for the physical stuff later, so don't push it. If you're from out of town, do not invite the lady up to your hotel room to have a nightcap or admire the view, she may misinterpret your invitation. Slower is better at the beginning, because that enhances the possibility of a long lasting relationship that will not burn out quickly.
14 ) Thou shalt not play games.
Games include not calling for more than two days, talking only about yourself, or feigning only moderate interest (example: "I'm dating several women right now and keeping my options open" --- even if that's true). The reason that so many people are not in relationships that last is because of follow-up is often ignored. Don't expect to disappear on a woman for two weeks after the first date and get a warm reception on the phone when you call. Women with self-esteem love and respect themselves, and are attracted to men who genuinely like and display interest in them. Games also include encouraging a woman to move in with you when you are not married or engaged with a date set.When people live together the romance goes out the window and they no longer feel the need to work on problems. When an issue comes up that is difficult its often easier to leave before seeking a therapist. Leading a woman on for an extensive length of time is also considered game playing. Women over 30 with high self esteem will not generally be involved in an exclusive relationship for more than a year without an engagement ring and a wedding date being set. Women simply do not have the luxury of time, as men do. The ultimate way for you to show your love for a woman is to ask her to marry you. The ultimate way for a woman to show her love for you is to accept your proposal.
15 ) Thou shalt not expect a lady to initiate a telephone call to you after your first few dates.
If she does, great --- but better to be surprised than disappointed. Women expect you to initiate the calls until you are dating exclusively. This is considered good form. If a woman thanked you at the end of the date, do not expect her to call and thank you later. This is considered chasing, and a true lady will not do it. Men often get angry that women do not call them after a date or assume the connection has broken between them. This could not be further from the truth. Women are afraid to call until they feel they know you for the simple reason you might be on a date or have a female over at your house and therefore she would be interupting you.
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