Okay wow.
It seems like some of the more grand decisions about going to church that I've made have been 'verified' by something that happened after I made the decision.
I know that HF wants me to be in church at this time. Or perhaps He knew I was ready to come back at this time. (Who's to say that I'm supposed to be in the NP ward at THIS time ... I might not have been ready to come back during previous times so this time automatically becomes the time I was supposed to come back ... and perhaps there isnt any specific reason ... just the reason that I should be in Church.) Well anyways.
**I just reread this part & it kinda reads like the Princess Bride: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Im just a lot less clever. Carry on.**
A few weeks ago, I really didnt want to go to church. Then I just went. And a hot guy sat near me. TOTALLY worth it.
Okay and then I went to Church this past Sunday and I wasnt plan on going because I was sick, I looked bad, I need to lose 10 lbs, etc. But I went. And then I just had this random thought that I needed to follow up with the Bishop about where I was in terms of the sacrament. And then I just ran into the guy that schedules interviews with the Bishop and he said there was an open slot right after Church (bc we all know I probably wouldnt have made it if I had to do it a Tuesday night or something).
So I went to Sunday School AND THE LESSON WAS ON CONFESSING AND FORGIVENESS! Now, I know if I had prepared and read the lesson I would have maybe automatically known that. But I didnt.
And with some of the stuff in the past that has happened to me, I know that I am supposed to be a member of this Church. Uhh, and not just that the Church is true, but that I should learn about repentance and justice versus mercy. Like I've gone deeper than the whole "Is the Church true?" question ... but onto specific dogma that I am not really seeking out to find out the truthfulness of ... but that through diligence and random following through of ideas in my head ... that I've grown to receive a strong testimony about.
The evidence is just too overwhelming. And I know I'm rambling.
So I have the song "The Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley in my head. Because of the part thats like "Forgiveness!" over and over again. But I think the song is actually about lost/unrequited love. And how Don Henley forgives the person who doesnt love him anymore. Not exactly the type of forgiveness that I was talking about.