The Uffizi sucks.
Italians use too much tongue.
Italians are short.
Italians are sharp dressers.
ALternately, Americans are bad dressers.
Italians are thin.
Alternately, Americans are fat.
You have to walk a lot in Florence.
The bus drivers will run you over in Florence.
There are a lot of statues with penii in Firenze.
More to come ...