picture tuesday

There's a few things wrong with this picture. The kitchen color scheme.  There is that guy wearing the sleeveless t-shirt in a not ironic way.  Not to mention the fire hazard of the paper towels sitting on the stove.

Do you see that one cat (kind of closer to the man) staring straight into the camera? 
I can't tell if it's a plea for help or if the cat actually likes being there and is giving us a I know I'm in a sea of fools take over the world look.

Ohhh my gahhhhh you guys this was so cute!

Julia, the cat, is an outdoors cat. She just comes inside the house to eat, lay on my bed, and randomly get pissy & scratch me. When Julia and I were first acquainting ourselves to each other, she would just meow to get my attention. But over the past two months, she has learned to stand right in b/n my face and the computer. Total hooker.

Anyways. I have never seen this cat use the bathroom. But today, of all days, its completely pouring outside and I see her pawing at some dirt. And then she pops a squat. I mean, I know this shouldnt be so impressive but it just was. Here is Julia ... doing number 2 ... pouring down rain ... my headlights shining in her eyes. She knows I'm looking at her because she's staring straight back at me.

And we understand.

picture of julia and some needy dog and me looking like im laughing and urinating in my swimsuit.

PS. I still need to lose 15 lbs you shut your face.

dogs are stupid - i mean - cute.

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:

6:00 am - At last! I go pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched tv with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Some hot tips from Groomer Has It

Do not feed your pet the following: chocolate, garlic, onions, nuts, avocado, artificial sweeteners. (I dont get the nut stuff ... because in one of the challenges a groomer got to use peanuts for their dog treat ....?).

Sequins and rhinestones from doggy costumes can be choking hazards.

Never cut a cat whiskers. The whiskers are a cat's sense of touch and balance and assist cats in walking through narrow spaces. (I cut Betsy's whiskers once. Probably why she never jumped on tables or countertops).