is she ever not funny?

Chelsea Handler says that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were Les Be Friends.

HAHA HOW WITTY CHELSEA I HEART YOU.

Things I learned from Chelsea Handler

Okay so Chelsea Handler had me cracking up laughing.
Here's some of the goods.

Paris Hilton
(No shock here)
Paris Hilton wrote in her blog: I am so excited, we have finally started taping my new show for MTV. I just want to thank you all for sending in your videos and applications. The response was massive and incredible, we had more applicants then any show in history, so that felt really nice that so many people wanted to be apart of it.
So Chelsea was all like - ummm, NO YOU DIDNT. Chelsea was thinking more along the lines of American Idol filling up stadiums.

Rappers like yachts.

Drew Barrymore: 3 marriages/5 balls. And then one of Chelsea's co-hosts did a fantastic imitation of Drew Barrymore by talking out of the side of her mouth (ie, like a stroke victim).

Jenna Jameson wants to have babies. Jenna Jameson says, "I'm following in Angelina's footsteps." News flash: No, you're not. The baby would just fall out. Chelsea said that Jenna should aim lower ... like to follow in Chyna Doll's footsteps. Or Caroline Rhea. One of Chelsea's guy friends said that Jenna was great in First Times at Ridgemont High.

You have no class if you say "classy." Wow, I had no clue. Thanks for the hot tip.

Chelsea wore a yellow tank top. Black leggings that went down to her calves. And these really cute animal print pumps. Thats classy- I mean, hot- I mean, divine.


Padma Lakshmi was Chelsea's guest. Her first name sounds a little Star Wars-ish.

So Chelsea Lately is my new show. Once Project Runway leaves Bravo ... I think E! will overtake it in my Top TV channels list just because of two 30 minute shows (Chelsea Lately and The Soup).

LOL at the bottom 10.

Fox Sports had this to say about Mr. Andruw Jones.

(10) Los Angeles Dodgers: It's pretty obvious that they were Jonesin' for the wrong Atlanta Braves mainstay when they parted with $14.7 million. Andruw Jones, 31, carried a .162 average with 1 homer, 3 RBIs and 25 whiffs in 74 at-bats into the weekend, has looked chunky since arriving at spring training and has added less to the lineup thus far than a cymbals player in Nine Inch Nails. You would have thought L.A. might have taken the hint when the career .261 hitter fell off to.222 in his walk year. Meanwhile, Chipper Jones is tearing the cover off the ball for the Braves for $12.3 million.

And I'll throw in the one about Starbucks owner Howard Schulz too.

(1) Howard Schultz: The founder, chairman and CEO of Starbucks is suing to undo his sale of the Seattle SuperSonics to Clay Bennett's Oklahoma City group 21 months ago because he says he was fooled into believing the NBA club would remain in the Pacific Northwest. The suit asks that the club be held in trust until an "honest buyer" can be found. I know Bennett said at the time and in several instances since that the Sonics would stay put, but let's not lose site of the fact that it's now his company and he should be able to run it as he sees fit, although honoring the last two years of the Seattle lease would be nice. Schultz should be focusing on Starbucks, which has seen its stock price plunge by more than 50 percent in the last year, and be grateful no one has sued him for charging for Wi-Fi access in his stores on top of $4.50 for a cup of coffee. God bless Dunkin' Donuts.