How to fly

I, Niki, 100% stole this from someone's tumblr. But only bc I couldnt find the button to like it!

1. Sit on the back porch and contemplate your place in the world. Be loose and breathe deeply. Consider the weathering back fence in all its browns, greens and grays. Nature isn’t hurried, nor should you be. Things take time.
2. Starting at the base and working outward, preen your wings, taking pains to crush mites and lice between the nails of the thumb and forefinger. Pluck ancient or broken feathers to promote new growth.
3. Stretch. Limber up. Breathe deeply. (Now is the time when all the yoga you practiced earlier pays off. Make the lion pose. Now the serpent. Now the lotus. Relax.)
4. Leave the porch, lift your wings and grab the air. Though you may feel awkward at first, the rhythm will return as it returns to jazz musicians coming out of detox after a long winter kicking junk.
5. Once you’re gliding, forget your wings. Understand wings are illusory, and turn them loose.
6. Realize your body is an unnecessary illusion and let it return to the back porch. Soar above it.
7. All is illusion. Forget it. Let it go. Fly.

lululemon athletica quotes

I got this big, red poster type thing from lululemon. And it has lots of quotes on it I like. This is preventing me from throwing it away. So therefore, I will write the quotes on my blog so I can throw away the red paper.

drink fresh water and as much water as you can. water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.

a daily hit of athletic-induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions, helps you be at peace with yourself, and offset stress.

the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness.

do one thing a day that scares you.

listen, listen, listen, and then ask strategic questions.
write down your short and long-term GOALS four times a year. two personal, two business and two helath goals for the next1, 5, and 10 years. goal setting triggers your subconscious computer.

life is full of setbacks.
success is determined by how you handle setbacks.

your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself.

what we do to the earht we do to ourselves.

the world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you 2 steps behind.
do it now, do it now, do it now.

friends are more important than money.

visualize your eventual demise. it can have an amazing effect on how you live your life for the moment.

don't trust that an old age pension will be sufficient.

that which matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least.

stress is related to 99% of all illness.

take various vitamins. you never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health. (okay i dont agree with this one just sayin)

jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

breath deeply and appreciate the moment. living in the moment could be the meaning of life.

observe a plant before and after watering and relate these benefits to your body and brain.
practice yoga so you can remain active in physical sports as you age.

children are the orgasm of life.
just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you actually have them.

successful people replace the words 'wish' 'should' and 'try' with 'i will'.

creativity is maximized when you're living in the moment.
nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce. mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, and will give you a lousy life.

do not sue cleaning chemicals on your kitchen counters or floors. someone will inevitably make a sandwich on your counter.

sweat once a day to regenerate your skin.

the conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. choose a positive thought.

live near the ocean and inhale the pure salt air that flows over the water, vancouver will do nicely.

communication is complicated. we are all raised in a different family with slightly different definitions of every word. an agreement is an agreement only if each party knows the conditions for satisfaction and a time is set for satisfaction to occur.

DANCE, SING, FLOSS AND TRAVEL.

Yogapalooza

.. was awesome this morning!

We were outside and I still have a dead bug smeared across my arm because I actually got him when I tried to swat him away. If I was a guy, it would have been all in my arm hair! RAWR I would be sooooo lord of the flies if I was a guy with dead bug in my arm hair.

So we were outside. Karen, the instructor was facing the sun. She was a lot sweatier than we were. But it was so great because you were warmed up and could get really into the poses! Exclamation point! They also had the mats laying out and had a bottle of SmartWater next to the mat for us. And Heather came with and she did yoga too.

Crunch also had real people doing music in the background. There were a violin player, a cello player, 3 back up singers, a singer, maracas type things player, and a bongo dude. Most of the people in the group were black women but the bongo player was this old white dude. Pretty random. But with the music, the grass, the sun, and the sky, I just felt so darn granola during the experience.

During Savasana, I'd be all relaxed and then a bug would land on my arm, in my ear. Thanks bug.

Afterwards, I learned how to do a deeper backbend. FUN.

Then Heather let me drop her off and showed me her room (and her apartment in general ....). She said it was messy, but I dont think she's ever seen my room to get a good perspective on the relativeness of "messy".

if i get anymore zen im going to burst into a ball of energy and light, you see?

Okay so I was meditating last night. It's been awhile since I've done so. I cant say I went real "deep" into it.

In yoga teacher training, we were taught to almost put our emotions and thoughts aside and to feel what our body tells us. And last night I noticed this extreme energy underneath my arms along the sides of my waist. Like I had wings.

Like I could fly.

we close with the word 'namaste' which means, ummm, i'm drawing a blank here

I taught my first ever yoga class yesterday! Teaching a class was starting to become a roadblock for me. The longer I waited, the less and less I wanted to teach a class because I was so scared and nervous because it had been built up so much because of the time I waited until I taught it. Because and stuff. Oh, and I got paid for it too.

I subbed for a yoga teacher at this Fortune 500 company. I'm in Atlanta area, and there are really only two big companies I can think of headquartered in Atlanta. They had a PHAT gym. One of the girls in the class says, "They do that so we dont ever leave." And I dont think she meant that in a long term basis, but on a day to day basis. Plus, they had hot guys lifting weights.

I walk in and they have this huge semi circle front desk with this black guy behind it. He has an earpiece that he's talking into and he starts talking to me at the same time. The conversation goes something like this. Me: "Do I need to sign in or something." Him: "Yes, sign in here please. Girl, Mmmhmmm I know whatchu talkin' bout, he been trippin. The fitness center is through those glass doors to the right."

In the group fitness class studio they had a really complicated stereo system. It took me 3 minutes to find "open" "Play" and about five minutes to skip tracks later on in the class. There was the master volume and the cd player volume. And then another volume knob for a microphone. A huge box with a smaller box on top. I dont know what the smaller box did, but I guess it was an afterthought. And I dont know why the big music box couldnt do what the small music box on top did.

OMG, this company's gym had YOGA BLOCKS! Umm, most places just have mats.

The class had a slew of participants:
- a younger girl who looked like she could do a lot of the yoga-ey things. But she wouldnt jump to the front edge of her mat! I know I know, watch my ego, but I still think she could have done it.
- this really tall, kinda overweight, grey haired guy. But he knew his yoga stuff for realz. His trikonasana was a little higher up but his form was pretty sweet.
- this woman who had back issues. She basically said she needed back surgery and they wanted to fuse spine things together. Those types scare me because I dont want them to hurt themselves.
- another yoga instructor. i guess the company didnt know if i would really show up, so she came later and just took the class. i didnt know she was an instructor until she told me. she does more of an iyengar style, and not so much flow. (i could tell the whole class wasnt used to "my style" but its good for their body to be tested and try out new things).
- this thin, tall guy who was pretty inflexible.
- this total yoga NOOB. During down dog, I just had to press her whole hand to the ground because she was just using the tips of her fingers.

At the end of the class, I told the new girl to definitely come back next week because i was just the substitute. And she said she'd come. And I heard comments from her about how she was probably going to be sore. I didnt do much of the class with them, but I was kind of sore too.

I flubbed with my words at times, but I think I will find my voice as a yoga instructor with practice. At least Im not a doctor/surgeon, where if you flub people have to get new surgeries, unnecessary surgeries or die.

dark night

The Dark Knight opened up last night, so now I get to hear about how "awesome" it was from all the people who saw the midnight showing for the next 24 hours. Yayyyy.

But I'm still reeling from Wall-E. Wall-E is the nicest trash compactor robot ever. I'm sure of it. I dont know if Wall-E and Eve were as good of a match as those two robots in Bjork's All is Full of Love video (just glancing at youtube to find that link ... who keeps watching my Lucky Jim book review? WTF? anyways). And I really like movies where even though there is little to no talking, you are still completely engrossed in what's going on (Umm, Castaway is the only moving coming to mind right now). Some people dont like movies with little to no talking. I think it's because they arent comfortable with silence. Maybe some yoga could help them, no?

Totally didnt wake up for 6 am yoga. I fail!

It seemed like the thing to do.

At work, I felt the need to do a handstand in the bathroom.

And I DID a handstand in the bathroom.

Handstands are mood lifters.
And my mood has been lifted.

I've been answering these PHONES all day today and that is not my JOB! And no one is picking up their calls so I have to be like "Can I transfer you to their voicemail?" and they are like "Well, maybe you can help me" and I want to be like UMMM NO I CANT HELP YOU BELIEVE ME I CANT WHY DONT YOU LET ME TRANSFER YOU TO THEIR VOICEMAIL AND THEN YOU CAN GO SHOOT YOURSELF? Have a Nice Day.

PS

Those five *ess pounds really he*ped me out with my chattarungas today. I cou*d do them easier. Its like my arms knew there was five *ess pounds it had to *ower to the ground.
I still cant do planks worth a damn though. MIght need to *ose another 10 for that ...


(oh, the AC wasnt working in yoga room today. so i think the other reason that the chattarungas were so "easy" was because i think we on*y did three of them the who*e c*ass.)

funny stuff from tv

Okay Im so lame, Im blogging about funny and/or relevant stuff I heard on tv.

So.

LAST COMIC STANDING
I heard two yoga jokes so I HAD to make note.

Stretching to rap music. Its called Yo Yo Yoga.
Seth would like that I bet. Me, not so much. Okay, I'll give it an "eh".

This other comedian said how yoga was an entire hour of holding in a fart. That was funny. I've never farted during yoga though. Because I'm a delicate flower and I do not participate in such nonsense as farting. Especially during something as ancient and sacred as yoga.

CONAN O BRIAN

So during his monologue Conan says something like this: In California, a female figure skater told police someone slipped a roofie in her drink. She said she's not sure who did it, but she was sure it wasnt a male figure skater.

Okay I cracked up laughing.

But Conan's audience was silent. And then Conan starts laughing and says, "That did so badly, it amused me." And he says something about how after that joke was said, a quiet permeated the room that you cant get in deep space.
male figure skaters = gay. I got it Conan.

TV - good times.
[insert my typical tv disclaimer: i love tv but i dont spend my days wasting away in front of it. i watch less than 1 hour of tv a night. for sure, son.]

freaking out

oh man. if i could, i would move through life at a snail's pace. CHANGE IS SO SCARY.

i am a lot nervous because i replied to an email about teaching yoga at kaiser. this is what i wanted to do, right? i wanted to teach. yeah. thats what i want to do ...

some part of me doesnt want the person to respond so i can be like "well, pshhhht. whatever, i tried."

and i wouldnt be surprised if she didnt respond. in the email, i was basically like ... hey, i am not a ryt. i have never taught. im basically a big loser trying to weasel my way into getting experience and using the people you care about as my crash test dummies.
i even left out the part about me not being insured.

crap crap crap.

even worse, what if she calls me in for an audition?
crap.

Yoga isms

I was watching Inhale and doing yoga yesterday. It comes on Oxygen Network ... at 6 am so I'd suggest DVRing it and doing yoga, like, later ....
The teacher Steve Ross is hilarious and insightful.

So here were two of his insights that stuck out to me from the show I DVRed.

1. To slow the mind down it is well to slow the breath down. The mind and the breath are interconnected. When the mind is racing, slowing the breath down (especially your exhales) will slow the mind down as well.

- I know what youre thinking. Its either freaking genius! Or *yawn. But its so true. The body hardly ever lies, even when we try to deceive others (egs, saying "oh Im not tired" when you are ... or "Im not upset, honey".)

2. During savasana, Steve Ross asked us (well, not me in particular, but the studio group in CA) if we could find where our body ended and space began. And I couldnt! Steve Ross goes off on this thing about being formless. Growing up, children often pretend to be planes, automobiles, trains, ships. What makes them wrong? And the only truth we know is that we exist, the rest is just belief.

- When your eyes are closed its logical that our perceptions/view of the world change. Then you can go into this even deeper. Think how different the world is with and without sight. Now think about new "senses" you might get when you die. Maybe the world will be our eternal resting place, but we'll just have different senses opened up to us to view the world in a completely different light.

I am the limiting reagent

to be comfortable in knowing and to be comfortable in not knowing.

IT was so weird today.

I have been having HORRIBLE times these past seven days with my side angle pose on my left side. It was so frustrating because, all of a sudden, I couldnt do this pose like I've done it in the past! I used to be able to go down to the floor, to bind - and then this past week I could barely get my elbow to my knee to do the basic pose (much less the more advanced stuff).
It was frustrating on the physical level.
But then I was frustrated because I was frustrated. Yoga isnt about doing what you could do in the past. Yoga isnt about being frustrated with your body's abilities.
I was afraid that this setback in this one asana was going to really affect my whole practice. I was going to start FEARing it.

It was odd that this happened when Betsy was teaching ... Bc later, I asked her this question about our intention. And Betsy wasnt even the instructor with me when we were setting up for the intention stuff. And she started talking about the purpose of the intention. And that helped me. Then she started talking to me about how she was coming home from her job as an airline stewardess. And it was New Years' Eve and it was all just hectic. And she ended up writing in a journal (or something, I dont know I really wasnt paying attention - KIDDING). And she wrote, like, 5 pages. And she said that was when she started being extremely honest with herself. And she knew that she actually wanted a husband. And then 4 months later, she got one.
And this was SO crazy because no one really knows in there the craziness in the LDS culture about getting married. And how I want to be married but not around this frenzy about getting married to get in the highest degree of Heaven way. I want to be in a marriage for me, for my husband, and for my posterity. For our stability. I feel like getting married to gain a high degree of salvation is great and all, but to the point where people are making hasty, perhaps ill-thought and planned out marriages is just immoral to me! When you get married so young and dont find out who YOU are, is that serving your future mate? your future posterity?
I know TONS of people make hasty decisions getting married and end up fine. But did they end up "the best"?

Well, it was just random that Betsy told me that later. And I just realized she was the one that brought me to that dreaded side angle pose. . . .

Okay, so back to asana practice.
We are in the side angle pose on the right side, my 'good' side (oh, how right that was in more ways than one). But the whole time Im thinking about the next step coming. The left side. I dont notice how great my body is on the right side because I'm already looking into the future about how bad its going to be on the left side. How many times do we do that in our life?
Then we go into side angle on the left side. I release out of it a few times. Feel very uncomfortable. And I feel the emotion just bursting from my face. Yes, I start crying in the middle of practice. The next pose we go into is Down Dog and I instead go into the nurturance of Child Pose. And cry. Like a child. My back is going up and down with my tears. Im quiet but I am sobbing to where I cant control my breath.
Is that yoga? Once you lose your breath, are you out of yoga practice? Is crying yoga?
I let the emotions come as they are though. I finish my practice in an emotion-filled but productive worthwhile way.

AFterwards, we were in Circle and the leader asked if anyone had anything they'd like to share about practice. Everyone was quiet and I feel like I was going to be allowed to speak. Like, they wanted me to get over this.

So I told the group about my frustration with the side angle pose on my left side and how I had just been frustrated because I didnt want this one failure to leak out into my whole yoga practice, my future yoga teaching, my perception about myself, and on outwards.
I mean, its weird! I have no pain in that leg. Nothing feels hurt or strained or tight there. Why cant I do it like the other side?

So we are told to stand straight and basically do a body scan of ourselves. In silence, of course. Feet on upward. To note any inconsistencies. Then we are told to focus all of our energy into the left side of our body. To note that. Then we are told to move that energy into the right side. Then to note that.
This was done over time, of course.

Then we got this little handout of 2 figures, one facing front and one facing back. And we were told to mark Xs where tightness and tension were. And Os where we felt openness. Then we were told to write comments about the R/L side of our body.
Then we got into partners. Mine was Lynn.
So I told Lynn that I felt my right butt clinch but not so much my left side. And then I also noticed that my right foot stayed grounded. I had more of my right foot touching the floor. My left foot had less contact with the floor. And I also noticed that when I wavered, my left leg's hamstring would tighten to compensate; whereas my right foot stayed consistently grounded.
Then, when we focused our energy on the left side, I noticed a dark red/maroon/black color. And this fiery energy. And when we were told to switch our energy from the left to the right side, I felt this "whoosh!" in my chest from the left to the right. It was like my energy was saying "O Im so glad Im not THERE anymore." And then my energy was all in the right side. And the right side was white light. Swirly comforting circular energy. In the exercise we were also asked to rest and find a "home" in our body. And mine was right behind my eyes.

Lynn was interesting. When I looked at her little man. Xs were all down the back fo the little man drawing. And Os were all down the front of the little man drawing. Lynn did have one O on the back of her little man. And it was right behind where her heart was. Lynn said she felt crazy saying this, but it might be because she's had people "stab her in the back" before and she feels like she can never relax back there. She says even when she washes her face ... she feels tight back there because she doesnt know when someone is coming . . . .

During posture focus, we brought this theme back up.
This guy in the class noted that he wasnt even aware that he had a back! So when we were doing posture focus on the Warrior (where students might have issues with leaning far forward), to tell students they have a back. That just because they are strong in the front part, does not make them strong everywhere. You align them where they are strong every where. Not just in the front or "where the camera sees".

What a freakin amazing discovery.
Where so many people live their whole lives, never experiencing one true deep belly breath how could they ever find something like this out?

Brahmacharya

So, in yoga teacher training, we each have to pick one of the 8 limbs of Raja Yoga and lead a discussion on it.

My topic is Brahmacharya .... which was picked last for some odd reason . . . But its one of the five limbs of "do nots" (and there's also five observances). The Dos and DoNots are part of only two of the limbs of Raja Yoga (if you were trying to keep up count)
But brahmacharya basically promotes celibacy when single and faithfulness in marriage. And this extends to keeping your thoughts pure when it comes to other married folk. Also includes no masturbation, perverse sexual acts, etc.

- The 8 "Limbs" of Raja Yoga are somethign that need to be developed as a whole. You cant master one and move on to the next. Just like our body: You dont grow right arm, then left arm, then right leg, then left leg - it all grows together. (applicable to the gospel)

- In a broader sense, brahmacharya is about having control over all of your senses (and desires). Not just in action, but in thought and word as well. Just because you are celibate does not mean that you have achieved brahmacharya.

- sexual energy is an energy. and males and females should harness their sexual energy and put it forth for something fruitful and not towards ejaculation or what have you.
I think this is true as well. How many times do you see people who dont get sex have to go work out or something to put that "energy" somewhere else?

- Some people get really.. you know, weird, with this stuff. and say that when a male ejaculates, it is (in a sense) god/creation in motion. so we should treat this action with respect and sacredness. Not in a toilet with a playboy, ya know?

- Celibacy: spiritual growth is as electricity: lightbulb
Or you could look at celibacy as a weapon to things that halt our spiritual growth. Having control over desires will stop things like lust, greed, anger, jealousy and so on. Just as you cannot draw a picture without a wall, paper, or something to draw on - you cant have health and spiritual life without celibacy.

Man, with his boasted intellect, has to learn lessons from birds and animals. Even animals have more self-control than men. It is only the so-called man who has degraded himself much by indulgence. At the heat of sexual excitement, he repeats the same ignoble act again and again. He has not a bit of self-control. He is an absolute slave to passion. He is a puppet in the hands of passion. Like rabbits he procreates and brings forth countless children to swell up the number of beggars in the world. Lions, elephants, bulls and other powerful animals have better self-control than men. Lions cohabit only once in a year. After conception, the female animals will never allow the male animal to approach them till the young ones are weaned and they themselves become healthy and strong. Man only violates the laws of nature and consequently suffers from innumerable diseases. He has degenerated to a level far lower than that of animals in this respect.


Engaging in the 8 limbs ... will ultimately lead to self awareness.
Take away your fears.
Take away your desires.
Take away your hopes.
Take away your dreams.
Take away everything.
And then, who are you?