10 Commandments for Dating – for Women
1 ) Thou shalt return calls promptly.
It’s important to return a gentleman’s telephone call within 48 hours on weekdays, or within 72 hours on weekends or holidays. Busy men become perturbed if they don’t hear back from you within that time frame. They will lose interest in you and move on to the next girl if you do not return their calls in a timely fashion. (As a member of the “Millionaire’s club, if you don’t like him after speaking to him on the phone, or meeting him email the club within 24 hours and they will notify him and handle the situation discreetly.)
2 ) Thou shalt honor thy dating commitments.
When a man calls you, he will offer you dinner, but you have the right to reduce the date to drinks, lunch, brunch, coffee, etc. If a gentleman does not offer you a five-star dinner on the first date, please notify the club immediately. You can say, “I will get back to you once I know my schedule.” The club will then make sure that the man’s manners improve. However, If you suggest less than dinner, that sends the clear message that you are auditioning him and you don’t have time to share an entire meal with him. If you are marriage minded, know that this will turn off monogamous men. Please do not make other plans immediately following the date. He will notice if you are constantly looking at your watch, and he will be unimpressed. It’s important to remember that even if your date is not your dream guy, you are gathering information and experience, called Dating Data, that you will use on future dates with someone more to your liking.
3 ) Thou shalt let the man take the lead and shalt avoid bringing personal baggage to the table.
Let the man lead by suggesting a restaurant and making plans for the first date, but let him know in a gracious manner, if you would rather go to another establishment or do something else. If, after you meet him on the first date and you really like him and you both feel chemistry, he can offer to fly you to his city and you may accept. Politely but firmly tell him that you would love to go, but you don’t feel comfortable staying at his home yet, so you would like him to book you a hotel room, at least until you feel you know each other better and are in an exclusive, committed relationship.In the beginning, it is best not to bring up any of your deep personal issues; he’s not your therapist (and you’re not his). This often happens with when excessive alcohol and/or chemistry are present. Deep, personal history is simply too much intimate information for him to process in the beginning. If you want to be in a healthy, loving, committed relationship it is important to let the man lead the conversation in the beginning and ask the questions. Acquire all the information you can about him. The conversation should become a ping-pong match, with the gentleman serving and you responding with information about yourself when he asks.
4 ) Thou shalt not, under any circumstances, talk about any other romantic relationships.
Men don’t want to hear about their competition just as you don’t want to hear about yours. Focus on the date at hand. Men want to date trustworthy women in whom they can confide. If a gentleman questions you about other men from the club, please reply with, “That’s unimportant. What is important is that I’m here with you now.” If he persists, notify the club.
5 ) Thou shalt be engaging.
Respond to his questions with positive energy and enthusiasm, and stay on neutral subjects like the arts and current events in the beginning. Witty banter is very important. Ask interesting questions, be a good listener as well as an active participant, and get to know him. Eye contact is important, too --- let him look into those baby blues, big browns or gorgeous greens and make sure you look into his.
6 ) Thou shalt not drink too much on the first date.
Although it may be very tempting, in order to relax, drinking more than two alcoholic beverages could cloud your judgment. Stay clear and focused, and never allow yourself to become sloppy or drunk.
7 ) Thou shalt not be a gold digger
Never ask or hint for anything of monetary value. If a gentleman offers to buy you a designer watch or handbag or anything else of worth, you may accept --- but DO NOT bring up the subject.
8 ) Thou shalt act like a lady.
This means being polite and follow common laws of etiquette such as saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.” Do not cuss. Men admire, trust and respect women with good manners. This includes not chasing him by calling or emailing him excessively. Remember, however, that for you to be a lady, he must be a gentleman. A gentleman will ask you for a weekend date by Wednesday. If he asks you out for the weekend on Thursday or later, the ladylike thing to do is to schedule no more than Sunday brunch with him. Or if he really needs to be taught a lesson, schedule a Monday night dinner. A lady will not allow a gentleman to make last minute plans, even if he tells her he loves a spontaneous girl. If you accept out of eagerness, he will feel you are too easy, and will move on to someone who makes him work harder.
9 ) Thou shalt (if interested) express some interest.
Don’t play hard to get if you like him. A man likes genuine compliments just as much as you do (maybe even more)…so don’t be afraid to tell him he’s handsome, interesting or funny. Once you have decided you like a specific male and you have gone out with him four times, it is important to show your appreciation and reciprocate. But do not offer to outright pay for something: once a woman touches money/credit card in front of a male she becomes “masculine energy,” which is undesirable.But this does not preclude showing thanks by purchasing him a CD, book, theatre or concert tickets, just don’t do it in his presence. Offering to cook a meal for him is an exceptional, appreciative gesture. The number one small request a wealthy man makes of a woman is a good “old-fashioned” home cooked meal. If you are not a great cook, we suggest you order food from your favorite take out service and top the evening off with a back massage. Once you are in a committed relationship, however, paying for things in his presence is perfectly acceptable as long as it is four-to-one. On the other hand, if a male client insists/complains that you pay out of your own pocket for any part of the date, please report this male member and the incident to the company. It is against company policy for a male member to insist or expect a woman to pay for anything. Remember, when a man has set the precedent of being the masculine energy in the relationship, the utmost reward for him is love, affection and availability. But every now and then he too would like to receive a gift, home cooked meal, or back rub that shows that you truly care.
10 ) Thou shalt not become intimate on the first date.
If you’re interested in him, a hug and kiss must suffice. Millionaires Club suggests taking it slow and getting to know your perspective mate for three months before diving into the waters of intimacy. Never get into a sexual situation unless he tells you in the sober light of day (and not in the bedroom!) that he wants to pursue a committed, monogamous relationship with you. He must verbally ask you that he desires for the two of you to be monogamous to be exclusive. Do not assume you are exclusive unless he asks you.As long as you are not exclusive, you have the right to date as many men as you desire until you are off of the market. When it comes to sex, it is important that you realize that “In is in.’ In other words, any kind of intercourse, whether oral, vaginal or otherwise, is considered sex, and should not be indulged in until you are both monogamous. NEVER assume that you are monogamous, unless he asks you to be monogamous, committed and exclusive with you, and he tells you that he isin a platonic setting. (For great advice on handling this, see Getting to I Do by Dr. Pat Allen, page 130) It takes four seasons to get to know someone well enough to delve into marriage. If a man doesn’t propose to you by the end of one year, you must end the relationship and move on, unless he agrees to therapy.
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