when thinking about the type of guy i want, i love making lists. little attributes that should up make up my perfect ideal. i know the guy will fall way too short in some respects but in others, he might excel my wildest visions.
so anyways. here goes another list.
- i want a guy with a job. a decent job.
- i want a funny guy or a guy that laughs at my jokes. both would be nice. but i would settle for either/or.
in addition, i would like the guy to have a real dry or cynical sense of humor. like smigel. but mixed in with a little bit of immaturity. like dane cook. yeah, i said dane cook.
- i want a guy that loves Jesus. but not because he's been told to love Jesus his whole life. but someone who loves Jesus because they have question, searched, and come up with their own conclusion about such things.
in addition, i would like a guy in touch with his spiritual side. i want him to know the difference between religion (sitting in the pews, trying to beat your last Tetris score) versus spirituality (caring about a tree for the mere fact that it exists)
- i want a guy that is independent. someone that can leave me alone when i get in my moods. and someone that has friends (preferably not hot, single women friends) who he can hang out with.
- i want a guy that likes to read. i want to read side by side with him in the bed and have our own separate bed lamps that we each turn off when we are finished. that's hot.
- i would like someone to travel with.
- i would like someone only slightly spontaneous. like maybe once or twice a year spontaneous.
- i want a guy that is loyal. long term loyal. someone with the m scott peck road less traveled type of love.
- i would like someone that knows what that previous statement means.
- i still like the tall, dark and handsome qualifier.
- i want a guy that is my friend.
merry christmas y'all
December 25, 2008
December 20, 2008
dogs and tissue
i borrowed logan from my parents last night and brought him for the weekend. he's so cute! a little hefty for a cocker spaniel but he can run so that means he's not completely unhealthy. i guess.
also i was just blowing my nose and was ready for a second blow but when i breathed in for my second wind, i sucked in a crapload of tissue paper and almost died because of that jordan sparks song - no air.
its true.
also i was just blowing my nose and was ready for a second blow but when i breathed in for my second wind, i sucked in a crapload of tissue paper and almost died because of that jordan sparks song - no air.
its true.
December 17, 2008
lululemon athletica quotes
I got this big, red poster type thing from lululemon. And it has lots of quotes on it I like. This is preventing me from throwing it away. So therefore, I will write the quotes on my blog so I can throw away the red paper.
drink fresh water and as much water as you can. water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.
a daily hit of athletic-induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions, helps you be at peace with yourself, and offset stress.
the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness.
do one thing a day that scares you.
listen, listen, listen, and then ask strategic questions.
write down your short and long-term GOALS four times a year. two personal, two business and two helath goals for the next1, 5, and 10 years. goal setting triggers your subconscious computer.
life is full of setbacks.
success is determined by how you handle setbacks.
your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself.
what we do to the earht we do to ourselves.
the world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you 2 steps behind.
do it now, do it now, do it now.
friends are more important than money.
visualize your eventual demise. it can have an amazing effect on how you live your life for the moment.
don't trust that an old age pension will be sufficient.
that which matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least.
stress is related to 99% of all illness.
take various vitamins. you never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health. (okay i dont agree with this one just sayin)
jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.
breath deeply and appreciate the moment. living in the moment could be the meaning of life.
observe a plant before and after watering and relate these benefits to your body and brain.
practice yoga so you can remain active in physical sports as you age.
children are the orgasm of life.
just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you actually have them.
successful people replace the words 'wish' 'should' and 'try' with 'i will'.
creativity is maximized when you're living in the moment.
nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce. mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, and will give you a lousy life.
do not sue cleaning chemicals on your kitchen counters or floors. someone will inevitably make a sandwich on your counter.
sweat once a day to regenerate your skin.
the conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. choose a positive thought.
live near the ocean and inhale the pure salt air that flows over the water, vancouver will do nicely.
communication is complicated. we are all raised in a different family with slightly different definitions of every word. an agreement is an agreement only if each party knows the conditions for satisfaction and a time is set for satisfaction to occur.
DANCE, SING, FLOSS AND TRAVEL.
drink fresh water and as much water as you can. water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.
a daily hit of athletic-induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions, helps you be at peace with yourself, and offset stress.
the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness.
do one thing a day that scares you.
listen, listen, listen, and then ask strategic questions.
write down your short and long-term GOALS four times a year. two personal, two business and two helath goals for the next1, 5, and 10 years. goal setting triggers your subconscious computer.
life is full of setbacks.
success is determined by how you handle setbacks.
your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself.
what we do to the earht we do to ourselves.
the world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you 2 steps behind.
do it now, do it now, do it now.
friends are more important than money.
visualize your eventual demise. it can have an amazing effect on how you live your life for the moment.
don't trust that an old age pension will be sufficient.
that which matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least.
stress is related to 99% of all illness.
take various vitamins. you never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health. (okay i dont agree with this one just sayin)
jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.
breath deeply and appreciate the moment. living in the moment could be the meaning of life.
observe a plant before and after watering and relate these benefits to your body and brain.
practice yoga so you can remain active in physical sports as you age.
children are the orgasm of life.
just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you actually have them.
successful people replace the words 'wish' 'should' and 'try' with 'i will'.
creativity is maximized when you're living in the moment.
nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce. mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, and will give you a lousy life.
do not sue cleaning chemicals on your kitchen counters or floors. someone will inevitably make a sandwich on your counter.
sweat once a day to regenerate your skin.
the conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. choose a positive thought.
live near the ocean and inhale the pure salt air that flows over the water, vancouver will do nicely.
communication is complicated. we are all raised in a different family with slightly different definitions of every word. an agreement is an agreement only if each party knows the conditions for satisfaction and a time is set for satisfaction to occur.
DANCE, SING, FLOSS AND TRAVEL.
30 questions to elevate your awareness (and literacy) of the greater place in which you live
I'm sure I've already posted this, but the paper its printed out on is turning kind of tissue papery ... so I thought just in case I need to have this in MY BLOG.
1) Point north.
2) What time is sunset today?
3) Trace the water you drink from rainfall to your tap.
4) When you flush, where do the solids go? What happens to the waste water?
5) How many feet above sea level are you?
6) What spring wildflower is consistently among the first to bloom here?
7) How far do you have to travel before you reach a different watershed? Can you draw the boundaries of yours?
8) Is the soil under your feet, more clay, sand, rock or silt?
9) Before your tribe lived here, what did the previous inhabitants eat and how did they sustain themselves?
10) Name five native edible plants in your neighborhood and the season(s) they are available.
11) From what direction do storms generally come?
12) Where does your garbage go?
13) How many people live in your watershed?
14) Who uses the paper/plastic you recycle from your neighborhood?
15) Point to where the sun sets on the equinox. How about sunrise on the summer solstice?
16) Where is the nearest earthquake fault? When did it last move?
17) Right here, how deep do you have to drill before you reach water?
18) Which (if any) geological features in your watershed are, or were, especially respected by your community, or considered sacred, now or in the past?
19) How many days is the growing season here (from frost to frost)?
20) Name five birds that live here. Which are migratory and which stay put?
21) What was the total rainfall here last year?
22) Where does the pollution in your air come from?
23) If you live near the ocean, when is high tide today?
24) What primary geological processes or events shaped the land here?
25) Name three wild species that were not found here 500 years ago. Name one exotic species that has appeared in the last 5 years.
26) What minerals are found in the ground here that are (or were) economically valuable?
27) Where does your electric power come from and how is it generated?
28) After the rain runs off your roof, where does it go?
29) Where is the nearest wilderness? When was the last time a fire burned through it?
30) How many days till the moon is full?
The Bigger Here Bonus Questions:
31) What species once found here are known to have gone extinct?
32) What other cities or landscape features on the planet share your latitude?
33) What was the dominant land cover plant here 10,000 years ago?
34) Name two places on different continents that have similar sunshine/rainfall/wind and temperature patterns to here.
Source: Kevin Kelly - Help Wanted
1) Point north.
2) What time is sunset today?
3) Trace the water you drink from rainfall to your tap.
4) When you flush, where do the solids go? What happens to the waste water?
5) How many feet above sea level are you?
6) What spring wildflower is consistently among the first to bloom here?
7) How far do you have to travel before you reach a different watershed? Can you draw the boundaries of yours?
8) Is the soil under your feet, more clay, sand, rock or silt?
9) Before your tribe lived here, what did the previous inhabitants eat and how did they sustain themselves?
10) Name five native edible plants in your neighborhood and the season(s) they are available.
11) From what direction do storms generally come?
12) Where does your garbage go?
13) How many people live in your watershed?
14) Who uses the paper/plastic you recycle from your neighborhood?
15) Point to where the sun sets on the equinox. How about sunrise on the summer solstice?
16) Where is the nearest earthquake fault? When did it last move?
17) Right here, how deep do you have to drill before you reach water?
18) Which (if any) geological features in your watershed are, or were, especially respected by your community, or considered sacred, now or in the past?
19) How many days is the growing season here (from frost to frost)?
20) Name five birds that live here. Which are migratory and which stay put?
21) What was the total rainfall here last year?
22) Where does the pollution in your air come from?
23) If you live near the ocean, when is high tide today?
24) What primary geological processes or events shaped the land here?
25) Name three wild species that were not found here 500 years ago. Name one exotic species that has appeared in the last 5 years.
26) What minerals are found in the ground here that are (or were) economically valuable?
27) Where does your electric power come from and how is it generated?
28) After the rain runs off your roof, where does it go?
29) Where is the nearest wilderness? When was the last time a fire burned through it?
30) How many days till the moon is full?
The Bigger Here Bonus Questions:
31) What species once found here are known to have gone extinct?
32) What other cities or landscape features on the planet share your latitude?
33) What was the dominant land cover plant here 10,000 years ago?
34) Name two places on different continents that have similar sunshine/rainfall/wind and temperature patterns to here.
Source: Kevin Kelly - Help Wanted
December 15, 2008
like books are so much better than movies
I sometimes read Entertainment Weekly and I SWEAR I've never seen them give a book anything lower than a B-; I'm sure they didnt give Larry The Cable Guy anything higher than a C. WTF? Are books somehow 'better' than movies in general? Why the bias? I'm just saying that I've read some D's and F's.
December 12, 2008
Back to normal-ish
Dont you love adding the suffix -ish to other words?? I also think its fairly multi-faceted: can add a drastic measure of non-commitment to a statement (I'm ready-ish; just let me get my things together), can replace "I dont mean to be rude but ..." (She's ugly-ish), and sometimes doesnt change the word at all but is just there to provide colour to the thing (Late-ish).
Well, I got back from Dallas and Houston TX. That was FUN times :D I'm planning a trip to Puerto Vallarta next July. We are basically going to camp out in some cabanas with no electricity. Thank god they'll be running water.
Okay let's talk about Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Mormonism links. I dont have the books with me or anything. So this is off memory.
-I see a major one in that Edward pesters Bella to marry him before he'll change her into a vampire. Or boink her.
-Also, Carlisle talks about how he hopes he has a soul even though he's a vampire. And Im pretty sure LDS people think that humans (even if they are cloned or whatnot) have souls. I want to say they think EVERY living thing has a soul ... but I dont know if they believe bacteria and such have souls.
-Also while Bella and Edward are talking in Book 3, Stephenie Meyer italicized eternity in relation to Edward and Bella being together. HMMMMMMMMMM
- This one is far reaching, but I kind of thought of genealogy while Jacob and Billy and Quil were talking about their tribe's history.
My personal future Twilight movie thoughts.
- I wish they would recast Jacob
- I hope they have 3 different directors for the next 3 movies. Why not? I mean, it would be really cool to see their different takes on the book series but yet still have that common theme of Bella and Edward being forever in love.
- Im expecting the special effects of people shifting into werewolves sucking. UGH. I hope they dont have the same CGI studio that did 10,000 BC doing the next movies. Wolves and things with fur look SO CRAPPY on CGI! UGHHHHH. They didnt do a good job in Twilight with Edward's sparkle.
- And I thought Robert Patterson looked cute when he looked like he was pooping when Kristen Stewart sat next to him in Biology.
So there.
PS. Im not done with book 3 so dont tell me what happens suckers.
Well, I got back from Dallas and Houston TX. That was FUN times :D I'm planning a trip to Puerto Vallarta next July. We are basically going to camp out in some cabanas with no electricity. Thank god they'll be running water.
Okay let's talk about Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Mormonism links. I dont have the books with me or anything. So this is off memory.
-I see a major one in that Edward pesters Bella to marry him before he'll change her into a vampire. Or boink her.
-Also, Carlisle talks about how he hopes he has a soul even though he's a vampire. And Im pretty sure LDS people think that humans (even if they are cloned or whatnot) have souls. I want to say they think EVERY living thing has a soul ... but I dont know if they believe bacteria and such have souls.
-Also while Bella and Edward are talking in Book 3, Stephenie Meyer italicized eternity in relation to Edward and Bella being together. HMMMMMMMMMM
- This one is far reaching, but I kind of thought of genealogy while Jacob and Billy and Quil were talking about their tribe's history.
My personal future Twilight movie thoughts.
- I wish they would recast Jacob
- I hope they have 3 different directors for the next 3 movies. Why not? I mean, it would be really cool to see their different takes on the book series but yet still have that common theme of Bella and Edward being forever in love.
- Im expecting the special effects of people shifting into werewolves sucking. UGH. I hope they dont have the same CGI studio that did 10,000 BC doing the next movies. Wolves and things with fur look SO CRAPPY on CGI! UGHHHHH. They didnt do a good job in Twilight with Edward's sparkle.
- And I thought Robert Patterson looked cute when he looked like he was pooping when Kristen Stewart sat next to him in Biology.
So there.
PS. Im not done with book 3 so dont tell me what happens suckers.
November 24, 2008
do it!
I got this book from amazon called listography. And save yourself the ten bucks, they have a website, folks!
http://listography.com/nikirtehsuxlol
post a comment with your listography link if you make one, so I can stalk you :D or we can favorite each other :D :D :D :D okay yeah bye.
http://listography.com/nikirtehsuxlol
post a comment with your listography link if you make one, so I can stalk you :D or we can favorite each other :D :D :D :D okay yeah bye.
November 19, 2008
what i have my eye on
Okay I recently got this hankering for a Nintendo DS Lite (and recently being after my friend let me play hers).
Here it is a WalMart for $150 for the DS Lite, 2 games (out of a preselected 17 - Id get the Uno and Sonic but thats just me), and a choice of 1 of 2 Accessory Starter kits (Mario Red or PRincess Peach, meh): http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10730454
And I also kind of want a Mac.
So I can be one of these people.
Here it is a WalMart for $150 for the DS Lite, 2 games (out of a preselected 17 - Id get the Uno and Sonic but thats just me), and a choice of 1 of 2 Accessory Starter kits (Mario Red or PRincess Peach, meh): http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10730454
And I also kind of want a Mac.
So I can be one of these people.
November 18, 2008
umm wtf, niki?
I found the following list on my desk. It's in my handwriting yet I dont know the context and I have no clue why I wrote all that mess.
AND NOW YOU KNOW.
TRUE CHANGE!
racism
civil rights
dirty politics
True STUFF!
Anonymouslettersbulletins
blatant lies by politicians
AND NOW YOU KNOW.
November 14, 2008
acing that interview!
I work in a technical type job and went through a string of interviewing about 20-30 college age kids. I am completely not the best interviewer but here is some stuff I didnt dig during interviews.
1. I dont care if YOU just want to work here part time. I dont care if I just want you for part time position, but you need to pretend like you’re enthused or excited about the job. Not crack happy, but just interested.
2. On the flip side, I dont want someone who needs the job TOO much. Please dont bring up your grandmother’s sob story or how you might lose your house. It comes off as desperate. Take that story to the McDs or BK. They might go for it.
3. If I am asking you different questions, bring up a sports story ONCE. Jeez. I dont need to hear about the time you showed leadership out on the soccer field. And then this other time you solved a problem by kicking to the right winger versus the forward. (This one kid answered questions like that, and he had a freakin 4.27 GPA and never once brought up any sort of academic achievements!).
4. Be confident in your answers, but dont be cocky. Im not going to hire an a*shole.
5. Dress to impress. Even though I dress in jeans - for the interview, I want to see you looking professional.
6. If you are going to work at a location temporarily, dont mention that in the interview. No one wants to invest time (ie, MONEY) into training an employee who is going to leave 6 months down the road. So if I ask you about 6 month plans - dont say you might want to move to Virginia or Brazil.
7. Bring up an odd hobby or something if a question pops up. To differentiate.
8. When we ask you about your bad qualities, dont bring up any type of bad qualities that might insinuate you arent cooperative or a team player. No one wants to hire an a*shole.
9. I ask questions specifically about how the potential hiree handles repetitive boring tasks. I want an answer how they can find joy in that. I dont want them to say, "oh yeah, that is not really fun." A good answer might be, "Tasks like that help me learn what I’m doing really well" and/or "I like to work on the same thing because I can see the ways I continually improve. I dont mind repetitive tasks."
10. Speak in complete sentences. No gangsta hick shiat.
11. Answer the specific question, try not to babble on and on or go off on tangents.
12. Overqualified people I tend not to hire because A. I dont want them trying to tell me what to do or "we did so and so at the other job" and B. I dont want them taking over my position. So if you were managment and you are going for a lower position, (depending on who youre talking to), I would adjust your resume. If you are talking to a potential DIRECT superior - I would dumb the resume down. If you are talking to THEIR boss, I might keep it as is in case they are looking to replace that position eventually. Office politics, y’know.
13. If I make a statement on how it is extremely important to NOT fake data and how that is a fireable offense - LISTEN. If you want, mention a sentence or two how you have acted in the past to agree with the statement I just made so I know you heard and understood me, but do NOT start babbling.
1. I dont care if YOU just want to work here part time. I dont care if I just want you for part time position, but you need to pretend like you’re enthused or excited about the job. Not crack happy, but just interested.
2. On the flip side, I dont want someone who needs the job TOO much. Please dont bring up your grandmother’s sob story or how you might lose your house. It comes off as desperate. Take that story to the McDs or BK. They might go for it.
3. If I am asking you different questions, bring up a sports story ONCE. Jeez. I dont need to hear about the time you showed leadership out on the soccer field. And then this other time you solved a problem by kicking to the right winger versus the forward. (This one kid answered questions like that, and he had a freakin 4.27 GPA and never once brought up any sort of academic achievements!).
4. Be confident in your answers, but dont be cocky. Im not going to hire an a*shole.
5. Dress to impress. Even though I dress in jeans - for the interview, I want to see you looking professional.
6. If you are going to work at a location temporarily, dont mention that in the interview. No one wants to invest time (ie, MONEY) into training an employee who is going to leave 6 months down the road. So if I ask you about 6 month plans - dont say you might want to move to Virginia or Brazil.
7. Bring up an odd hobby or something if a question pops up. To differentiate.
8. When we ask you about your bad qualities, dont bring up any type of bad qualities that might insinuate you arent cooperative or a team player. No one wants to hire an a*shole.
9. I ask questions specifically about how the potential hiree handles repetitive boring tasks. I want an answer how they can find joy in that. I dont want them to say, "oh yeah, that is not really fun." A good answer might be, "Tasks like that help me learn what I’m doing really well" and/or "I like to work on the same thing because I can see the ways I continually improve. I dont mind repetitive tasks."
10. Speak in complete sentences. No gangsta hick shiat.
11. Answer the specific question, try not to babble on and on or go off on tangents.
12. Overqualified people I tend not to hire because A. I dont want them trying to tell me what to do or "we did so and so at the other job" and B. I dont want them taking over my position. So if you were managment and you are going for a lower position, (depending on who youre talking to), I would adjust your resume. If you are talking to a potential DIRECT superior - I would dumb the resume down. If you are talking to THEIR boss, I might keep it as is in case they are looking to replace that position eventually. Office politics, y’know.
13. If I make a statement on how it is extremely important to NOT fake data and how that is a fireable offense - LISTEN. If you want, mention a sentence or two how you have acted in the past to agree with the statement I just made so I know you heard and understood me, but do NOT start babbling.
November 11, 2008
great moments in laziness
My roommate's dog totally puked in front me when I was in the kitchen.
I totally didnt clean it up and here's why.
A. Shes not my dog (but she's so cute anyways!).
B. She puked on linoleum.
C. And I make little hairball gagging motions when I clean up dog/cat puke.
I think those are all very valid reasons. So I stand by my decision.
I totally didnt clean it up and here's why.
A. Shes not my dog (but she's so cute anyways!).
B. She puked on linoleum.
C. And I make little hairball gagging motions when I clean up dog/cat puke.
I think those are all very valid reasons. So I stand by my decision.
November 10, 2008
nihilistic what?
I talked with this guy at the Drunken Unicorn on Saturday. And he was a little plastered. And he is a Philosophy major. And in true Philosophy major fashion, he says, "I dont believe in anything. My mind is a jumbled mess. I'm so nihilistic, if it werent for my two cats and family, I'd kill myself."
I totally laughed on the inside, I could hardly help myself. But on the outside, I was a stone cold listener.
His friend, equally plastered, was like, "Naw dude, dont say that." And it just sound so disingenuous when you have about 6 Budweiser's in your system.
Oh, and then on Sunday, my roommate asks if he can move my car. Of course he can, I'm brushing my teeth. And I go out there and see A BUS IN THE BACKYARD! When girls splurge, they buy clothes. When guy's splurge, they buy a bus.
It has blue squirrels on it. I think it used to be a nature bus.
I totally laughed on the inside, I could hardly help myself. But on the outside, I was a stone cold listener.
His friend, equally plastered, was like, "Naw dude, dont say that." And it just sound so disingenuous when you have about 6 Budweiser's in your system.
Oh, and then on Sunday, my roommate asks if he can move my car. Of course he can, I'm brushing my teeth. And I go out there and see A BUS IN THE BACKYARD! When girls splurge, they buy clothes. When guy's splurge, they buy a bus.
It has blue squirrels on it. I think it used to be a nature bus.
October 30, 2008
Hey, I might get published
I'm going to be pretty discreet until I actually get the book in my hand bc I dont want to stick my foot in my mouth.
But I submitted a 500 word work of AWESOMENESS and it might be going into a book. I should be getting a free t-shirt in the mail as well. I mainly submitted the story for the free tshirt. I am starting to think I will do a lot of stupid things for a free tshirt. (ie, sell my vote, spend time writing a 500 word story on something I know nothing about, etc).
But I submitted a 500 word work of AWESOMENESS and it might be going into a book. I should be getting a free t-shirt in the mail as well. I mainly submitted the story for the free tshirt. I am starting to think I will do a lot of stupid things for a free tshirt. (ie, sell my vote, spend time writing a 500 word story on something I know nothing about, etc).
October 28, 2008
why I like alias - if I was in middle school
I really like Alias. Sydney Bristow is really troubled. But sometimes she wears cool costumes. She pretends to be a smart librarian, dumb gambler's wife, or a prostitute. Sydney cries a lot for a super spy. Her windmill kick is supreme.
Arvin Sloane is really smart. He probably has read War and Peace like five times he's so smart. His wife died and that was sad. Sydney does not like him but I would probably forgive him. Sydney needs to let the past go. It's not Arvin's fault he killed Sydney's fiancee and lied to her about working for the CIA. Jeez. Just let some things go Sydney and you might be happier.
Jack Bristow is Sydney's dad. He is always cool under pressure and a great liar. I think he has flapper hair from the 1920's because he looks like he has a finger wave on the right side.
I like Marshall, the computer nerd Tech guy. He always says tacky things but in an innocent way. People in the CIA/SD-6 say, "Marshall ...." and he knows to get to the point because he tends to ramble. I have a personal liking for Marshall because he resembles Peter Dinklage my favorite midget.
Marshall
My favorite midget - Peter D.
Arvin Sloane is really smart. He probably has read War and Peace like five times he's so smart. His wife died and that was sad. Sydney does not like him but I would probably forgive him. Sydney needs to let the past go. It's not Arvin's fault he killed Sydney's fiancee and lied to her about working for the CIA. Jeez. Just let some things go Sydney and you might be happier.
Jack Bristow is Sydney's dad. He is always cool under pressure and a great liar. I think he has flapper hair from the 1920's because he looks like he has a finger wave on the right side.
I like Marshall, the computer nerd Tech guy. He always says tacky things but in an innocent way. People in the CIA/SD-6 say, "Marshall ...." and he knows to get to the point because he tends to ramble. I have a personal liking for Marshall because he resembles Peter Dinklage my favorite midget.
Marshall
My favorite midget - Peter D.
October 27, 2008
Vote for sale
I am really uninspired by who the republicrats are offering for us to choose for president. Not feeling Obama; not feeling McCain.
And so I prayed. And I told Heavenly Father that He could have my vote. But I dont think He really cares either bc Im not feeling a nudge either way.
So a day later someone who shall remain nameless tells me that if I vote for Nader, he'd give me $15! But I said, "How about a free t-shirt?" And he said, "Okay." So the only thing that could mess up me getting a free t-shirt would be prophecy or not knowing how to write-in Nader. Since I'm no prophet or no dummy, I foresee a free t-shirt in my future (which is a prophetic statement, ironically).
PS. At least by voting 3rd party, they (whoever "they" are) can see that the two party system isnt cutting it for some.
And so I prayed. And I told Heavenly Father that He could have my vote. But I dont think He really cares either bc Im not feeling a nudge either way.
So a day later someone who shall remain nameless tells me that if I vote for Nader, he'd give me $15! But I said, "How about a free t-shirt?" And he said, "Okay." So the only thing that could mess up me getting a free t-shirt would be prophecy or not knowing how to write-in Nader. Since I'm no prophet or no dummy, I foresee a free t-shirt in my future (which is a prophetic statement, ironically).
PS. At least by voting 3rd party, they (whoever "they" are) can see that the two party system isnt cutting it for some.
October 9, 2008
Hollywood might be out of new ideas but its not like the old ones are that bad.
SPOILER ALERT (if you have never seen a chick flick and dont know how they end, ie, if you're slow).
Made of Honor
Yes, the guy has this best friend who he has never looked at in that way.
Yes, the best friend gets engaged to someone else and the guy all of a sudden really really wants her. (Somehow he stops being a man-whore at will).
Yes, the guy plays basketball with his friends. I mean, "shoots some hoops".
Yes, the groom-to-be is way awesome and the guy only has his personality to sexually combat the groom.
Yes, the guy loses his confidence and decides last minute to not show up at the wedding.
Yes, the guy has a change of heart and has to race to the wedding to get there in time.
Yes, the guy crashes the wedding just in time.
Yes, the guy confesses his love in an awkward "all I have to give is myself" speech.
Yes, the girl runs into the guy's arms and kiss.
Yes, the guy gets punched by the groom.
Oh man, just once, I would LOVE for the guy to not get the girl and be depressed and drink beer and have lots of meaningless sex for the rest of his life. Sigh. But Jack Bauer will defeat the terrorist and the citizen helping him will die and all is right in the world.
Made of Honor
Yes, the guy has this best friend who he has never looked at in that way.
Yes, the best friend gets engaged to someone else and the guy all of a sudden really really wants her. (Somehow he stops being a man-whore at will).
Yes, the guy plays basketball with his friends. I mean, "shoots some hoops".
Yes, the groom-to-be is way awesome and the guy only has his personality to sexually combat the groom.
Yes, the guy loses his confidence and decides last minute to not show up at the wedding.
Yes, the guy has a change of heart and has to race to the wedding to get there in time.
Yes, the guy crashes the wedding just in time.
Yes, the guy confesses his love in an awkward "all I have to give is myself" speech.
Yes, the girl runs into the guy's arms and kiss.
Yes, the guy gets punched by the groom.
Oh man, just once, I would LOVE for the guy to not get the girl and be depressed and drink beer and have lots of meaningless sex for the rest of his life. Sigh. But Jack Bauer will defeat the terrorist and the citizen helping him will die and all is right in the world.
October 6, 2008
Yahoo bad news
Man, the news at the bottom really sucks.
Especially that part about Robert Downey Jr. being in a Sherlock Holmes movie.
A video of it too?
*shudders*
October 4, 2008
Yogapalooza
.. was awesome this morning!
We were outside and I still have a dead bug smeared across my arm because I actually got him when I tried to swat him away. If I was a guy, it would have been all in my arm hair! RAWR I would be sooooo lord of the flies if I was a guy with dead bug in my arm hair.
So we were outside. Karen, the instructor was facing the sun. She was a lot sweatier than we were. But it was so great because you were warmed up and could get really into the poses! Exclamation point! They also had the mats laying out and had a bottle of SmartWater next to the mat for us. And Heather came with and she did yoga too.
Crunch also had real people doing music in the background. There were a violin player, a cello player, 3 back up singers, a singer, maracas type things player, and a bongo dude. Most of the people in the group were black women but the bongo player was this old white dude. Pretty random. But with the music, the grass, the sun, and the sky, I just felt so darn granola during the experience.
During Savasana, I'd be all relaxed and then a bug would land on my arm, in my ear. Thanks bug.
Afterwards, I learned how to do a deeper backbend. FUN.
Then Heather let me drop her off and showed me her room (and her apartment in general ....). She said it was messy, but I dont think she's ever seen my room to get a good perspective on the relativeness of "messy".
We were outside and I still have a dead bug smeared across my arm because I actually got him when I tried to swat him away. If I was a guy, it would have been all in my arm hair! RAWR I would be sooooo lord of the flies if I was a guy with dead bug in my arm hair.
So we were outside. Karen, the instructor was facing the sun. She was a lot sweatier than we were. But it was so great because you were warmed up and could get really into the poses! Exclamation point! They also had the mats laying out and had a bottle of SmartWater next to the mat for us. And Heather came with and she did yoga too.
Crunch also had real people doing music in the background. There were a violin player, a cello player, 3 back up singers, a singer, maracas type things player, and a bongo dude. Most of the people in the group were black women but the bongo player was this old white dude. Pretty random. But with the music, the grass, the sun, and the sky, I just felt so darn granola during the experience.
During Savasana, I'd be all relaxed and then a bug would land on my arm, in my ear. Thanks bug.
Afterwards, I learned how to do a deeper backbend. FUN.
Then Heather let me drop her off and showed me her room (and her apartment in general ....). She said it was messy, but I dont think she's ever seen my room to get a good perspective on the relativeness of "messy".
Great moments in Netflix reviewing
I dont particularly like writing movie reviews but I find myself doing it anyways. Most of my reviews arent that in depth either. I'm moreso from a middle schooler perspective. Most of my Netflix reviews have more people who find them helpful than not helpful though.
Here are excerpts from two of the less well liked by Netflix ones.
I still stand by my review. This movie sucked. Crispin Glover was a freakin SPAZ in it. And its not like Willard was that great of a movie either if we're being honest with ourselves.
Anyways, I think my review was helpful. Now 2/7 people should think its helpful. And one of those 2 is me.
The next review is from The Girl Next Door. I think people were turned off by the last part of my review. But the police should take my advice, I know a classy pedophile flick when I see it. And this movie was not it.
I wont even start with 10,000 BC. YOU CAN SEE THE CAVEWOMAN'S MASCARA IN THE MOVIE! WHAT CAVEWOMAN WORE MASCARA IN 10,000 BC??!
EDIT: looking back on the member's reviews on Netflix about The Girl Next Door ... WTF? They like it? The acting and the movie SUCKED. Along with the content, the writing sucked, the acting sucked ... *hits head on desk. I think they HAD money to make the movie, they just didnt use it very well.
"This movie is so disturbing I actually threw up." 19/26 people found this helpful? My review is WAY better.
I like this guy though ... "If you've ever thought, "I really enjoyed 'Carrie', but there just wasn't enough ABUSE!", this movie is for you." HAHA!
Here are excerpts from two of the less well liked by Netflix ones.
River's Edge
John, this hulking tall kid, kills this girl for making fun of his mom or something. And then he shows his friends and they basically have these very lackluster reactions. No one is scared, no one freaks out, and no one even thinks its incredibly cool. Crispin Glover's character tries to hide the body. The actual murderer John doesnt seem to care if he gets caught or not. He seriously acts like a walking brick. Keanu Reeve's brother in the movie is that annoying little brother from Teen Witch ("A DOG! A DOG! A DOG!"). Crispin Glover is this schizoid freak who just drives around, tries to smoke weed, and hide that girl's body. I didnt feel for any of the characters nor did I care for their plight. I am all for the disaffected youth movies, but this was just annoying and boring to watch.
I still stand by my review. This movie sucked. Crispin Glover was a freakin SPAZ in it. And its not like Willard was that great of a movie either if we're being honest with ourselves.
Anyways, I think my review was helpful. Now 2/7 people should think its helpful. And one of those 2 is me.
The next review is from The Girl Next Door. I think people were turned off by the last part of my review. But the police should take my advice, I know a classy pedophile flick when I see it. And this movie was not it.
The Girl Next Door
I'll start off and say that I liked the sepia overtone look of the film. The beginning scene seemed kind of intriguing. That being said, if you are going to do a movie concerning this subject matter of child abuse/molestation, then you better do it well. Not only was the acting sucky (with exception of the Aunt Ruth), but the character's were extremely flat and one-sided as well. During the last scene, I could hardly understand the actors because they were mumbling. How the cop handled the situation seemed very implausible. It seemed like they tried to shock you (and you should be) but you were shocked solely from the subject matter and not from the way it was brought across the screen. I personally think this movie didnt bring to light the story of child abuse/molestation but used those to show how children could be used in a sexual way. If your husband or a male in your life really likes this movie and watches it a lot at night, do the world a favor and turn in their computer harddrive to the cops.
I wont even start with 10,000 BC. YOU CAN SEE THE CAVEWOMAN'S MASCARA IN THE MOVIE! WHAT CAVEWOMAN WORE MASCARA IN 10,000 BC??!
EDIT: looking back on the member's reviews on Netflix about The Girl Next Door ... WTF? They like it? The acting and the movie SUCKED. Along with the content, the writing sucked, the acting sucked ... *hits head on desk. I think they HAD money to make the movie, they just didnt use it very well.
"This movie is so disturbing I actually threw up." 19/26 people found this helpful? My review is WAY better.
I like this guy though ... "If you've ever thought, "I really enjoyed 'Carrie', but there just wasn't enough ABUSE!", this movie is for you." HAHA!
October 3, 2008
Now I'm just being ridiculous
dont you think if you know how to put your pictures on the computer ("IN the computer?" - Zoolander) that you might take the extra effort to learn how to rotate them as well before you start posting them on the world wide web?
HOT HINT: Its the triangle thing that looks like its falling over ... click it until your picture looks right side up (ie, in most cases - face higher than groin, blue at top/green or brown closer to the keyboard ...).
HOT HINT: Its the triangle thing that looks like its falling over ... click it until your picture looks right side up (ie, in most cases - face higher than groin, blue at top/green or brown closer to the keyboard ...).
Should I wash this?
Dont you hate it when something falls and you just arent in "the mood" for that kind of stuff to be happening?
Either you were in a rush, you really didnt want to make noise, or something breaks or tips over when it falls?
Yeah, I just had a salad tip over in this purse I had and lettuce water spilled all in the handbag. UGH! It's just annoying because its that weird "is this dirty?" kind of spill. I mean, its LETTUCE WATER. Isnt lettuce like 105% water in the first place? So is it dirty or will the water make some nasty stink even though it is from a vegetable? Being a woman is hard. HARD I TELL YOU.
Dont even ask why I had lettuce in a bowl in my purse in the first place. Just. Dont.
Either you were in a rush, you really didnt want to make noise, or something breaks or tips over when it falls?
Yeah, I just had a salad tip over in this purse I had and lettuce water spilled all in the handbag. UGH! It's just annoying because its that weird "is this dirty?" kind of spill. I mean, its LETTUCE WATER. Isnt lettuce like 105% water in the first place? So is it dirty or will the water make some nasty stink even though it is from a vegetable? Being a woman is hard. HARD I TELL YOU.
Dont even ask why I had lettuce in a bowl in my purse in the first place. Just. Dont.
Oh dear.
I heard a crash near my feet. What just fell off the table?
Some spooks must want me to get off the rear end or something. We'll see who has the last word in this litte test of will.
Some spooks must want me to get off the rear end or something. We'll see who has the last word in this litte test of will.
Hey. laziness. You have groceries in the car.
Do you ever feel just exasperatingly lazy?
I have groceries in the car and there's no light on outside and it's dark and I'm tired and writing this mucho important blog about my feelings and there's just all these reasons why I shouldnt be getting the groceries out of the car right now.
Did you know I could be watching The Mist or Dali in New York right now? OR that I could be getting some beauty rest before I have to wake up WAY too early on a Saturday and teach yoga? I could be watching Steve Ross's Inhale to laugh or think deeply while I watch his peeps do yoga and I lay on my bed eating Cheetos (I actually dont have Cheetos but that would be funny/ironic if they were in the car). I could be feeding Zoey since I'm dog sitting and all. Or I could be unpacking from the Italy trip. Or I could double check I have directions to get to Center Stage tomorrow.
I could be brushing my teeth or shaving my armpits. I could be updating my amazon wish list. Or looking for Julia. Where is she anyways?
Anything. Anything but unpacking that car right now.
Screw the strawberries. It'll get cold tonight. They'll be fine. My trunk wont smell like a berry field in the morning. The lettuce wont turn brown.
(If only it were that easy. Im teaching yoga so early and then right afterwards, I'll be in the Cumberland mall area from 10-noon. I doubt I'll be any more inclined to take the groceries out at the butt crack of dawn then I want to now. WHY WHY DOES LIFE CURSE ME WITH THESE UNDESIRABLE, HARSH TASKS??!!)
I have groceries in the car and there's no light on outside and it's dark and I'm tired and writing this mucho important blog about my feelings and there's just all these reasons why I shouldnt be getting the groceries out of the car right now.
Did you know I could be watching The Mist or Dali in New York right now? OR that I could be getting some beauty rest before I have to wake up WAY too early on a Saturday and teach yoga? I could be watching Steve Ross's Inhale to laugh or think deeply while I watch his peeps do yoga and I lay on my bed eating Cheetos (I actually dont have Cheetos but that would be funny/ironic if they were in the car). I could be feeding Zoey since I'm dog sitting and all. Or I could be unpacking from the Italy trip. Or I could double check I have directions to get to Center Stage tomorrow.
I could be brushing my teeth or shaving my armpits. I could be updating my amazon wish list. Or looking for Julia. Where is she anyways?
Anything. Anything but unpacking that car right now.
Screw the strawberries. It'll get cold tonight. They'll be fine. My trunk wont smell like a berry field in the morning. The lettuce wont turn brown.
(If only it were that easy. Im teaching yoga so early and then right afterwards, I'll be in the Cumberland mall area from 10-noon. I doubt I'll be any more inclined to take the groceries out at the butt crack of dawn then I want to now. WHY WHY DOES LIFE CURSE ME WITH THESE UNDESIRABLE, HARSH TASKS??!!)
October 2, 2008
Future blogs to write about my trip to Firenze!
The Uffizi sucks.
Italians use too much tongue.
Italians are short.
Italians are sharp dressers.
ALternately, Americans are bad dressers.
Italians are thin.
Alternately, Americans are fat.
You have to walk a lot in Florence.
The bus drivers will run you over in Florence.
There are a lot of statues with penii in Firenze.
More to come ...
Italians use too much tongue.
Italians are short.
Italians are sharp dressers.
ALternately, Americans are bad dressers.
Italians are thin.
Alternately, Americans are fat.
You have to walk a lot in Florence.
The bus drivers will run you over in Florence.
There are a lot of statues with penii in Firenze.
More to come ...
Guess? what I'm buying.
I'm going to buy a coat from Guess? ... it is on sale for $100 bucks from $185. I have to tell myself not to buy expensive things until I have a day to think it over. If I still want it, then I can go back and buy it. I can be SO COMPULSIVE at times.
I also need to buy some cute sunglasses. :D I want some over the top Dior ones, but I'll probably just buy some Coach. Save myself 200 bucks, y'know ....
Stuff I just bought.
This shoe calendar.
Wow, can you say jump the gun? Anyways, I TOTALLY had to buy this. They have a handbag desk calendar too! ZOMG. My last desk calendar I just threw away because it was all this self help bullcrap and black and white and .... snore.
The Sam Sparro album.
I just wanted that song "Black and Gold" bc I heard it on dancing with the stars, but I bought the whole album instead. I actually bought the song twice because I bought the song from another one of his albums off amazon and then I ended up clicking to this album and bought the whole damn thing and ... yeah, bought the song twice.
THEN, I clicked on "Customers who bought this also bought this" and I got this album. Hercules and Love Affair. Mainly because a song on there - Blind - sounds like it has the same guy who sings with Bjork on a song called "Dull Flame of Desire".
And I didnt buy this song, because I already own it. But Eden by Hooverphonic ... so good.
I also need to buy some cute sunglasses. :D I want some over the top Dior ones, but I'll probably just buy some Coach. Save myself 200 bucks, y'know ....
Stuff I just bought.
This shoe calendar.
Wow, can you say jump the gun? Anyways, I TOTALLY had to buy this. They have a handbag desk calendar too! ZOMG. My last desk calendar I just threw away because it was all this self help bullcrap and black and white and .... snore.
The Sam Sparro album.
I just wanted that song "Black and Gold" bc I heard it on dancing with the stars, but I bought the whole album instead. I actually bought the song twice because I bought the song from another one of his albums off amazon and then I ended up clicking to this album and bought the whole damn thing and ... yeah, bought the song twice.
THEN, I clicked on "Customers who bought this also bought this" and I got this album. Hercules and Love Affair. Mainly because a song on there - Blind - sounds like it has the same guy who sings with Bjork on a song called "Dull Flame of Desire".
And I didnt buy this song, because I already own it. But Eden by Hooverphonic ... so good.
September 24, 2008
getting gas in GA is a bitch right now
UGH, I didnt top off my tank when I knew there was going to be a gas shortage in GA. Thanks Hurricane Ike! Thanks to you scaredies in TX who couldnt toughen up through the storm and keep the oil flowing! Thanks a lot! You know, I didnt want to contribute to the gas shortage problem and panic and top off my tank. But now where am I? I seriously cannot find gas anywhere. There are lines to get into gas stations.
Good thing I'm going to Italy tomorrow. I'll pawn my car off on my parents and give them 80 bucks to fill up my car and get my oil changed. I dont have time for this ish. Maybe when I get back, Perdue will have brought the unhealthy gas to GA by then.
(Gov. Sonny Perdue has asked the Federal Gvt to let us use the dangerous, environment unfriendly gas until the oil refineries in TX pump up again. So I'd like to thank Gov. Perdue for this. And thank the Federal Gvt. And thank the Earth for letting us pollute her some more.)
:D
Good thing I'm going to Italy tomorrow. I'll pawn my car off on my parents and give them 80 bucks to fill up my car and get my oil changed. I dont have time for this ish. Maybe when I get back, Perdue will have brought the unhealthy gas to GA by then.
(Gov. Sonny Perdue has asked the Federal Gvt to let us use the dangerous, environment unfriendly gas until the oil refineries in TX pump up again. So I'd like to thank Gov. Perdue for this. And thank the Federal Gvt. And thank the Earth for letting us pollute her some more.)
:D
china, please let me have my way with you
After hearing stories about milk killing babies in china, i hereby offer my services as an anal biatch to go to China and turn around their quality control processes.
we will look back and see what went wrong with their process in the past. we will fix or eliminate those issues. if those issues cannot be fixed, then we will not let that company make milk anymore. we will then set up quality control measures and enough sampling and testing to monitor the new and improved process. then, china can sell melamine free milk once again.
(seriously, I would LOVE to get my hands on QC processes on incoming goods from china. would absolutely LOVE IT.)
we will look back and see what went wrong with their process in the past. we will fix or eliminate those issues. if those issues cannot be fixed, then we will not let that company make milk anymore. we will then set up quality control measures and enough sampling and testing to monitor the new and improved process. then, china can sell melamine free milk once again.
(seriously, I would LOVE to get my hands on QC processes on incoming goods from china. would absolutely LOVE IT.)
September 18, 2008
did you know rasberries are like bugles??
they fit on the tips of your fingers!! thats amazing.
also, carrots (if you use your imagination a lot) can be like potato chips .... bc they are crunchy.
these are what i tell myself while eating healthier foods until i get used to eating healthy again. this morning, i passed by the mcdonalds and burger king and actually was not craving it. i just did not want to eat greasy food. so that is such a good sign. i feel like i am over the addictive attraction of fast food now.
i'm watching frontline: the medicated child. ugh. these kids are diagnosed as bipolar or add and automatically given three different medications. to stop things like lack of impulse control, rapid mood swings, irritability, etc ... (like what kid has never had a temper tantrum or impulse control problems??). and then it seems as if they are just given more and more medicine to cancel out the effects of the original medicines.
i'm sure bipolar and add are definitely overdiagnosed. (especially after reading complication by atul gawande ... he is a surgeon and the book describes how residents turn into surgeons. atul gawande says that if you've seen a patient with one problem, just by human nature you will use that past experience and diagnose future patients with that same problem ... )
also, carrots (if you use your imagination a lot) can be like potato chips .... bc they are crunchy.
these are what i tell myself while eating healthier foods until i get used to eating healthy again. this morning, i passed by the mcdonalds and burger king and actually was not craving it. i just did not want to eat greasy food. so that is such a good sign. i feel like i am over the addictive attraction of fast food now.
i'm watching frontline: the medicated child. ugh. these kids are diagnosed as bipolar or add and automatically given three different medications. to stop things like lack of impulse control, rapid mood swings, irritability, etc ... (like what kid has never had a temper tantrum or impulse control problems??). and then it seems as if they are just given more and more medicine to cancel out the effects of the original medicines.
i'm sure bipolar and add are definitely overdiagnosed. (especially after reading complication by atul gawande ... he is a surgeon and the book describes how residents turn into surgeons. atul gawande says that if you've seen a patient with one problem, just by human nature you will use that past experience and diagnose future patients with that same problem ... )
I know I will never like this movie.
The Love Guru
I cant kid myself. I just know its full of unfunny Adam Sandler types of funny. Just instead of Adam Sandler, you have Mike Meyers doing it.
The New York Times has confirmed my suspicions:
The Love Guru is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.
Ebert, do you have something to say about this??
What is it with Mike Myers and penis jokes? . . . He supplements this subject with countless other awful moments involving defecation and the deafening passing of gas. Oh, and elephant sex.
I'm all about a good fart joke now and then. But Im sure this movie would run it into the ground. Anyways Ebert, would you like to add anything else?
Myers has made some funny movies, but this film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents.
I'll stick with my horrible 80's movies, thanks.
When life was a simpler time of girl on girl hate and the hot guy driving a camaro and wearing a letter jacket.
September 13, 2008
who to vote for and other questions i've been asked recently
who are you voting for?
i actually dont know. i might go third party this year. i just want the usa to go back into its litte shell. hide its light for now bc i frankly think the rest of the world is tired of seeing it. what politician can get rid of mtv and allow cookie monster to eat all the cookies he wants? Cookies are a sometimes food? Puh-lease. get out of here with that.
when are you getting married?
i actually dont know. i might go third sex this year. maybe i should marry someone who is neither a man nor a woman. but maybe an alien. or a vampire or zombie. it happens in books. with vampires anyways. (twilight, anyone?) who has married an alien or a zombie? if you end up marrying one, the zombie thing tends to happen post-marriage. the last person to marry an alien i think was dan akroyd? something about this kid's stepmother was an alien? and the alien was darryl hannah? yeah, i will marry darryl hannah.
i actually dont know. i might go third party this year. i just want the usa to go back into its litte shell. hide its light for now bc i frankly think the rest of the world is tired of seeing it. what politician can get rid of mtv and allow cookie monster to eat all the cookies he wants? Cookies are a sometimes food? Puh-lease. get out of here with that.
when are you getting married?
i actually dont know. i might go third sex this year. maybe i should marry someone who is neither a man nor a woman. but maybe an alien. or a vampire or zombie. it happens in books. with vampires anyways. (twilight, anyone?) who has married an alien or a zombie? if you end up marrying one, the zombie thing tends to happen post-marriage. the last person to marry an alien i think was dan akroyd? something about this kid's stepmother was an alien? and the alien was darryl hannah? yeah, i will marry darryl hannah.
September 9, 2008
blog I passed by.
I love me a blog about tv!
90210 or The Anorexia Fun Time Hour
On another note, I’m not a big fan of these teen dramas. But they all feel compelled to prove themselves “not your mother’s teen show” by beginning with something extreme that will have everybody talking. About ten minutes into this episode, we were treated to the scene of a guy being startled when he was clearly being given a blow job in his car. But this isn’t even shocking anymore; I think that gambit has been used many times, actually. I just saw a BBC-America show, Skins, in which a high schooler was fellated under the table by his girlfriend during a study session in the first episode. Yawn! Call me when someone’s shtupping a yak.
90210 or The Anorexia Fun Time Hour
if i get anymore zen im going to burst into a ball of energy and light, you see?
Okay so I was meditating last night. It's been awhile since I've done so. I cant say I went real "deep" into it.
In yoga teacher training, we were taught to almost put our emotions and thoughts aside and to feel what our body tells us. And last night I noticed this extreme energy underneath my arms along the sides of my waist. Like I had wings.
Like I could fly.
In yoga teacher training, we were taught to almost put our emotions and thoughts aside and to feel what our body tells us. And last night I noticed this extreme energy underneath my arms along the sides of my waist. Like I had wings.
Like I could fly.
September 1, 2008
another comment about dogs
I like how dogs see you get up to walk somewhere, and then they start walking in front of you so they can lead you to their food dish or leash or something but then you dont follow them.
stupid dogs.
stupid dogs.
Dog Sitting in Decatur and DragonCon
I went to DragonCon this weekend. Seeing how I only had a few bucks in my checking account, it probably wasnt the most prudent decision but it was definitely the most fun! I got to see Monica's true dorkdom come out. How can she help if she knows the complete Stargate saga? If she owns Dune out her butt? If she introduced me to Eureka? Can you fight something that has a grip on your soul like that? Nay. I added the Stargate to my qway on Netflix, so we'll see if I turn into the same type of dork. With my chemistry-ness and bookish-ness, I dont need to add sci fi to my repertories. But how can I not watch Stargate after seeing the Megapanel???!!
The only other class I went to was the Eureka class. Eureka seems to be a sci fi show about these science people living near each other. They didnt talk too much about the premise of the show so thats all I really gleaned about the show. But they did talk about how accurate they tried to keep the science. For example, I think some dude in their show was out in space without any protection on. And in Eureka, the guy made it back safely with some blood shot eyes and problems with his tendons and junk. But other movies would have you believe the person would freeze. BUT THERE IS NO AIR (IE, MEDIUM) IN SPACE FOR YOU TO FEEL IT. "They" would also have you believe your lungs would collapse but, in actuality, eventually the pressure difference would 'move' the air out of your lungs but they wouldnt collapse so fast or anything. See? I'm putting "they" in quotes. Does that make me a conspiracy theorist? Aw jeez. I am one of them arent I? Anyways, Eureka got a lot of "flack" for that scene but the eureka people actually did it more in line with science than other movies have.
While Monica went to listen on how to kill a character in sci fi fiction (in some writer's thing), Joe and I went to Alternative Sexualities. But it was just some butch women talking about how Dumbledore was gay. Uh, lame. I can go to Midtown or gmail to talk to D and Wes and have interactions with gay ppl. I wanted to hear about Furries or something. Not about homosexuality in Harry Potter. SNORE. So we left the class and just took pictures of weird people in the Marriot and Hyatt. Oh, and earlier I had went to this Pinup Art Vargas girl thing ... This Guy spoke. He seemed really chill and open. The model he brought along is going to be in Van Wilder 3. I think she's some Christian girl who turns into a slut (in the movie ... I cant make any claims on her in real life). Joe and I ran into him later and he was nice and chatty. I wish I was a photog so I could have learned more stuff from him, but I am not and did not.
And all during this funness, I am dog sitting in Decatur and the dogs are nice but a handful at the same time. Right now as Im typing this, Stella (from Hella) is sitting at my feet and breathing her hot doggy breath into the legs of my lounging pants. She's awesome. Except when its 6 am in the morning and she gets all the dogs barking simultaneously to let her out so she can continue barking and wake the neighbors. Stanley is the older dog. He's pretty chill and I like that. I let him in from outside but he started drinking water while his butt was outside and I had to move his rear to shut the dear; he growled and didnt like that. The second time he partitioned himself halfway in and halfway out the door, I pushed him in and he went along with it. I think that makes us friends, no? Bone is Heather's dog. I didnt like the little bugger upon first meeting him. But once he looked up at me and his ears propped up, I was putty in his little doggy paws. And he sleeps with me. Unfortunately for Stella, he's smaller so gets away with being barky because he's a lot quieter.
MIght post pictures of DragonCon people.
Also, went to Holly's lingerie party! Might post pictures of that too!
The only other class I went to was the Eureka class. Eureka seems to be a sci fi show about these science people living near each other. They didnt talk too much about the premise of the show so thats all I really gleaned about the show. But they did talk about how accurate they tried to keep the science. For example, I think some dude in their show was out in space without any protection on. And in Eureka, the guy made it back safely with some blood shot eyes and problems with his tendons and junk. But other movies would have you believe the person would freeze. BUT THERE IS NO AIR (IE, MEDIUM) IN SPACE FOR YOU TO FEEL IT. "They" would also have you believe your lungs would collapse but, in actuality, eventually the pressure difference would 'move' the air out of your lungs but they wouldnt collapse so fast or anything. See? I'm putting "they" in quotes. Does that make me a conspiracy theorist? Aw jeez. I am one of them arent I? Anyways, Eureka got a lot of "flack" for that scene but the eureka people actually did it more in line with science than other movies have.
While Monica went to listen on how to kill a character in sci fi fiction (in some writer's thing), Joe and I went to Alternative Sexualities. But it was just some butch women talking about how Dumbledore was gay. Uh, lame. I can go to Midtown or gmail to talk to D and Wes and have interactions with gay ppl. I wanted to hear about Furries or something. Not about homosexuality in Harry Potter. SNORE. So we left the class and just took pictures of weird people in the Marriot and Hyatt. Oh, and earlier I had went to this Pinup Art Vargas girl thing ... This Guy spoke. He seemed really chill and open. The model he brought along is going to be in Van Wilder 3. I think she's some Christian girl who turns into a slut (in the movie ... I cant make any claims on her in real life). Joe and I ran into him later and he was nice and chatty. I wish I was a photog so I could have learned more stuff from him, but I am not and did not.
And all during this funness, I am dog sitting in Decatur and the dogs are nice but a handful at the same time. Right now as Im typing this, Stella (from Hella) is sitting at my feet and breathing her hot doggy breath into the legs of my lounging pants. She's awesome. Except when its 6 am in the morning and she gets all the dogs barking simultaneously to let her out so she can continue barking and wake the neighbors. Stanley is the older dog. He's pretty chill and I like that. I let him in from outside but he started drinking water while his butt was outside and I had to move his rear to shut the dear; he growled and didnt like that. The second time he partitioned himself halfway in and halfway out the door, I pushed him in and he went along with it. I think that makes us friends, no? Bone is Heather's dog. I didnt like the little bugger upon first meeting him. But once he looked up at me and his ears propped up, I was putty in his little doggy paws. And he sleeps with me. Unfortunately for Stella, he's smaller so gets away with being barky because he's a lot quieter.
MIght post pictures of DragonCon people.
Also, went to Holly's lingerie party! Might post pictures of that too!
August 26, 2008
totally NOT THEMED lingerie party
I'm going to a lingerie party this weekend. One of my friends is throwing it for her sister. She sent me an online receipt of the party favors.
You mean to say that I can drink out of a penis straw? Wow.
Pecker Whacker Balloons floating around my face? You dont say.
I get to eat chips and dip off a paper penis plate? Get out of here.
As the great George Bush says, "Let's" get this party started and "Roll."
PS. I am trying to include the black penis in this blog somewhere but its all going to come out quite racist. If you feel the need for a black penis joke, you just youtube Lisa Lampanelli and enjoy her black penis loving self.
PPS. Penis.
Rainbow Penis Party BP23337 2 4.49
Straws
X-Rated Bachelorette BP8484 2 1.99
Party Toothpicks
Pecker Pencil Erasers - BP57709 1 3.99
12
Your Presence is BP18976 2 3.99
Requested Invitations - 8
Bachelorette Party Penis BP12382 2 3.39
Plates
Amazing Latex Penis BP92143 1 3.99
Balloons
Pecker Whacker Balloons - BP00190 1 3.99
5
Outta Control Caution BP20775 1 2.49
Tape
Cake Toppers - Pecker BP16111 1 4.99
Shaped Numbers
3' Truly Tasteless BP15612 1 11.99
Inflatable Penis
Mini Pecker Party Trays - BP31827 1 5.79
You mean to say that I can drink out of a penis straw? Wow.
Pecker Whacker Balloons floating around my face? You dont say.
I get to eat chips and dip off a paper penis plate? Get out of here.
As the great George Bush says, "Let's" get this party started and "Roll."
PS. I am trying to include the black penis in this blog somewhere but its all going to come out quite racist. If you feel the need for a black penis joke, you just youtube Lisa Lampanelli and enjoy her black penis loving self.
PPS. Penis.
August 20, 2008
delicious
When Im bookmarking crap from the internet (its an important life I lead, no?), I really despise that "online" tag. Arent all the links online? Since your favorite non-online things dont have URLs, you cant really link them to your delicious bookmarks. And even if your favorite tree deserved its own url, Im sure www.tree.com or www.myfavoritetree.com is already taken by greenpeace or lendingtree.
Segway to my delicious link.
http://delicious.com/nikirtehsuxlol
My online blog, have you read it?
Segway to my delicious link.
http://delicious.com/nikirtehsuxlol
My online blog, have you read it?
August 15, 2008
we close with the word 'namaste' which means, ummm, i'm drawing a blank here
I taught my first ever yoga class yesterday! Teaching a class was starting to become a roadblock for me. The longer I waited, the less and less I wanted to teach a class because I was so scared and nervous because it had been built up so much because of the time I waited until I taught it. Because and stuff. Oh, and I got paid for it too.
I subbed for a yoga teacher at this Fortune 500 company. I'm in Atlanta area, and there are really only two big companies I can think of headquartered in Atlanta. They had a PHAT gym. One of the girls in the class says, "They do that so we dont ever leave." And I dont think she meant that in a long term basis, but on a day to day basis. Plus, they had hot guys lifting weights.
I walk in and they have this huge semi circle front desk with this black guy behind it. He has an earpiece that he's talking into and he starts talking to me at the same time. The conversation goes something like this. Me: "Do I need to sign in or something." Him: "Yes, sign in here please. Girl, Mmmhmmm I know whatchu talkin' bout, he been trippin. The fitness center is through those glass doors to the right."
In the group fitness class studio they had a really complicated stereo system. It took me 3 minutes to find "open" "Play" and about five minutes to skip tracks later on in the class. There was the master volume and the cd player volume. And then another volume knob for a microphone. A huge box with a smaller box on top. I dont know what the smaller box did, but I guess it was an afterthought. And I dont know why the big music box couldnt do what the small music box on top did.
OMG, this company's gym had YOGA BLOCKS! Umm, most places just have mats.
The class had a slew of participants:
- a younger girl who looked like she could do a lot of the yoga-ey things. But she wouldnt jump to the front edge of her mat! I know I know, watch my ego, but I still think she could have done it.
- this really tall, kinda overweight, grey haired guy. But he knew his yoga stuff for realz. His trikonasana was a little higher up but his form was pretty sweet.
- this woman who had back issues. She basically said she needed back surgery and they wanted to fuse spine things together. Those types scare me because I dont want them to hurt themselves.
- another yoga instructor. i guess the company didnt know if i would really show up, so she came later and just took the class. i didnt know she was an instructor until she told me. she does more of an iyengar style, and not so much flow. (i could tell the whole class wasnt used to "my style" but its good for their body to be tested and try out new things).
- this thin, tall guy who was pretty inflexible.
- this total yoga NOOB. During down dog, I just had to press her whole hand to the ground because she was just using the tips of her fingers.
At the end of the class, I told the new girl to definitely come back next week because i was just the substitute. And she said she'd come. And I heard comments from her about how she was probably going to be sore. I didnt do much of the class with them, but I was kind of sore too.
I flubbed with my words at times, but I think I will find my voice as a yoga instructor with practice. At least Im not a doctor/surgeon, where if you flub people have to get new surgeries, unnecessary surgeries or die.
I subbed for a yoga teacher at this Fortune 500 company. I'm in Atlanta area, and there are really only two big companies I can think of headquartered in Atlanta. They had a PHAT gym. One of the girls in the class says, "They do that so we dont ever leave." And I dont think she meant that in a long term basis, but on a day to day basis. Plus, they had hot guys lifting weights.
I walk in and they have this huge semi circle front desk with this black guy behind it. He has an earpiece that he's talking into and he starts talking to me at the same time. The conversation goes something like this. Me: "Do I need to sign in or something." Him: "Yes, sign in here please. Girl, Mmmhmmm I know whatchu talkin' bout, he been trippin. The fitness center is through those glass doors to the right."
In the group fitness class studio they had a really complicated stereo system. It took me 3 minutes to find "open" "Play" and about five minutes to skip tracks later on in the class. There was the master volume and the cd player volume. And then another volume knob for a microphone. A huge box with a smaller box on top. I dont know what the smaller box did, but I guess it was an afterthought. And I dont know why the big music box couldnt do what the small music box on top did.
OMG, this company's gym had YOGA BLOCKS! Umm, most places just have mats.
The class had a slew of participants:
- a younger girl who looked like she could do a lot of the yoga-ey things. But she wouldnt jump to the front edge of her mat! I know I know, watch my ego, but I still think she could have done it.
- this really tall, kinda overweight, grey haired guy. But he knew his yoga stuff for realz. His trikonasana was a little higher up but his form was pretty sweet.
- this woman who had back issues. She basically said she needed back surgery and they wanted to fuse spine things together. Those types scare me because I dont want them to hurt themselves.
- another yoga instructor. i guess the company didnt know if i would really show up, so she came later and just took the class. i didnt know she was an instructor until she told me. she does more of an iyengar style, and not so much flow. (i could tell the whole class wasnt used to "my style" but its good for their body to be tested and try out new things).
- this thin, tall guy who was pretty inflexible.
- this total yoga NOOB. During down dog, I just had to press her whole hand to the ground because she was just using the tips of her fingers.
At the end of the class, I told the new girl to definitely come back next week because i was just the substitute. And she said she'd come. And I heard comments from her about how she was probably going to be sore. I didnt do much of the class with them, but I was kind of sore too.
I flubbed with my words at times, but I think I will find my voice as a yoga instructor with practice. At least Im not a doctor/surgeon, where if you flub people have to get new surgeries, unnecessary surgeries or die.
August 10, 2008
i like pies
Aside from that instance (see previous blog), I had a nice time at church today. I am trying not to let that one little event dictate how the day went.
Fittingly (see previous blog), the talks were about kindness. And service.
One of the stories we heard was about a brick.
This guy was driving a porsche or something and he was late. Then he hears this brick hit his car. He slams on his brakes and sees a little kid who threw the brick at his car. The man is upset and grabs the kid and says, "what were you thinking?" The kid with the brick says, "I was trying to get someone to stop because my brother fell out of his wheelchair." The man still has the brick mark in his Porsche to remind him of that day.
I forgot what the exact point of the story was now that I think about it. I get the general gist. Also, the likelihood of a small kid having a brother fall out of a wheelchair and having a brick to throw at a car and actually hitting it all seems pretty suspect to me. But, nice story nonetheless.
- I might do a talent show thingie in the ward. Umm, yay?
- I got another girl's phone number last night and then another one today. I wish it was that easy with the guys (see previous blog).
- I heard the saying "untimely death" in Relief Society today. When is it ever a timely death?
- I signed up to bring food next week for the Italian linger longer. I usually dont bring food but will try my best to do so next Sunday. I have this odd aversion to attempting to cook. So hopefully I will have the time to get all the ingredients so I can poison people with my Italian garden salad so I wont have to ever bring food to church again.
- It looked like I had a comment in Sunday School. But I was just thinking of a deeper topic which barely linked with some of the ideas the teacher was putting out there. And the Sunday School teacher looks at me and says, "You look like you want to say something." And I say, "No thanks. Its a tangent and might be distracting." And he goes, "I like pies."
:D
Fittingly (see previous blog), the talks were about kindness. And service.
One of the stories we heard was about a brick.
This guy was driving a porsche or something and he was late. Then he hears this brick hit his car. He slams on his brakes and sees a little kid who threw the brick at his car. The man is upset and grabs the kid and says, "what were you thinking?" The kid with the brick says, "I was trying to get someone to stop because my brother fell out of his wheelchair." The man still has the brick mark in his Porsche to remind him of that day.
I forgot what the exact point of the story was now that I think about it. I get the general gist. Also, the likelihood of a small kid having a brother fall out of a wheelchair and having a brick to throw at a car and actually hitting it all seems pretty suspect to me. But, nice story nonetheless.
- I might do a talent show thingie in the ward. Umm, yay?
- I got another girl's phone number last night and then another one today. I wish it was that easy with the guys (see previous blog).
- I heard the saying "untimely death" in Relief Society today. When is it ever a timely death?
- I signed up to bring food next week for the Italian linger longer. I usually dont bring food but will try my best to do so next Sunday. I have this odd aversion to attempting to cook. So hopefully I will have the time to get all the ingredients so I can poison people with my Italian garden salad so I wont have to ever bring food to church again.
- It looked like I had a comment in Sunday School. But I was just thinking of a deeper topic which barely linked with some of the ideas the teacher was putting out there. And the Sunday School teacher looks at me and says, "You look like you want to say something." And I say, "No thanks. Its a tangent and might be distracting." And he goes, "I like pies."
:D
delete your face
I dont know what the deal with this guy was at church today. But I was sitting in the foyer and this guy waltzes in all late. And he asks everyone if they've handed out the sacrament yet. And I answer and say that they've handed out the bread (helpful, no?). And he sneers and says something and gets all huffy about it. I cant even remember what was said. All I know is that he was rude as fu*k. So much as to where the girl standing next to me looks and has this WTF look in her face (that I dont even really know. So its not like she was my friend and doing it for my benefit). Now I know why no one else jumped to answer his question.
Sorry dude. Its not my fault you were late to sacrament and felt the need to spread your venom. And if asshattery comes that easily to you, then you need to work on more than just getting to church on time.
UGH! WHO DOES THAT?
Yeah. So anyways, I deleted him off my friend's list. Its the new pulling off your glove and slapping your opponent in the face. But without them knowing unless they physically looked through their friend database of people who have not slapped them gloveless and seeing if you are still on it or not. I guess.
addendum. seriously, this guy was an ass. he talked to me like i was some dude he wanted to punch bc I had just slept with his girlfriend.
Sorry dude. Its not my fault you were late to sacrament and felt the need to spread your venom. And if asshattery comes that easily to you, then you need to work on more than just getting to church on time.
UGH! WHO DOES THAT?
Yeah. So anyways, I deleted him off my friend's list. Its the new pulling off your glove and slapping your opponent in the face. But without them knowing unless they physically looked through their friend database of people who have not slapped them gloveless and seeing if you are still on it or not. I guess.
addendum. seriously, this guy was an ass. he talked to me like i was some dude he wanted to punch bc I had just slept with his girlfriend.
July 31, 2008
Koyaanisqatsi: Life Out of Balance
I watched a pretty decent movie. It's called Koyaanisqatsi: Life Out of Balance.
ITs more of something you would watch at an IMAX or something. As it is just nature scenes or people walking on a sidewalk in fast motion or buildings with clouds reflected on it. And its 88 minutes long with no talking.
But the following is a definition of the word Koyaanisqatsi. And then the second is translation of some of the chants in the soundtrack.
KOYAANISQATSI
ko yaa nis qatsi (from the Hopi language) n. 1. crazy life 2. life in turmoil 3. life out of balance 4. life disintegrating 5. a state of life that calls for another way of living
“If we dig precious things from the land, we will invite disaster.”
“Near the Day of Purification, there will be cobwebs spun back and forth in the sky.”
“A container of ashes might one day be thrown from the sky, which could burn the land and boil the oceans.”
I totally didnt get a koyannisqatsi vibe at all from the movie. Except maybe the last 10 minutes or so. But it showed the skyscrapers in slow mo and with the sun reflecting off of it. And it showed twinkies being made in a factory! I mean, whats so doom and gloom about that? I got more of a hustle and bustle hecticness get back to nature feel from it.
This is all.
ITs more of something you would watch at an IMAX or something. As it is just nature scenes or people walking on a sidewalk in fast motion or buildings with clouds reflected on it. And its 88 minutes long with no talking.
But the following is a definition of the word Koyaanisqatsi. And then the second is translation of some of the chants in the soundtrack.
KOYAANISQATSI
ko yaa nis qatsi (from the Hopi language) n. 1. crazy life 2. life in turmoil 3. life out of balance 4. life disintegrating 5. a state of life that calls for another way of living
“If we dig precious things from the land, we will invite disaster.”
“Near the Day of Purification, there will be cobwebs spun back and forth in the sky.”
“A container of ashes might one day be thrown from the sky, which could burn the land and boil the oceans.”
I totally didnt get a koyannisqatsi vibe at all from the movie. Except maybe the last 10 minutes or so. But it showed the skyscrapers in slow mo and with the sun reflecting off of it. And it showed twinkies being made in a factory! I mean, whats so doom and gloom about that? I got more of a hustle and bustle hecticness get back to nature feel from it.
This is all.
July 30, 2008
Book of Possibilities
Im going to make a book of possibilities. Yay!
This was all Elyssa's idea who said she got the idea from The Holiday. I have seen The Holiday two times and I dont remember Cameron Diaz having that sort of book.
The plan was originally to just put pictures of guys in there. With short descriptions about why I put them in there. The descriptions will probably be funny so I dont think I'm actually serious about the book of possibilities. *shifty eyes*
Then I was like, "wait! there's more to life than guys!" and I realize I can put other possibilities in there too! Like going to Belize or job goals or bungee jumping and not dying goals!
But I'm sure it will still mainly be filled with guys.
This was all Elyssa's idea who said she got the idea from The Holiday. I have seen The Holiday two times and I dont remember Cameron Diaz having that sort of book.
The plan was originally to just put pictures of guys in there. With short descriptions about why I put them in there. The descriptions will probably be funny so I dont think I'm actually serious about the book of possibilities. *shifty eyes*
Then I was like, "wait! there's more to life than guys!" and I realize I can put other possibilities in there too! Like going to Belize or job goals or bungee jumping and not dying goals!
But I'm sure it will still mainly be filled with guys.
July 28, 2008
Okay on Sunday, after yoga, I started getting dressed for church at the gym. And this sassy, black woman with a bunch of tattoos looked at me and said, "you look so fresh and pretty!" and that just put the hugest smile on my face! But I said, "I didnt look this way an hour ago!" and she laughed. Anyways, I have used far too many exclamation points as it is.
Must move on.
I got hit on by random strangers a few times this week. I dont understand what a guy thinks is going to happen if he drives past me and stops his car and says, "Girl, you are fine. Are you married?" Thats what happened today. I just say "No thanks." And he just drives off. But what if I meant, "No. Thanks!"? What then?
And then on Saturday, I got hit on (by strangers) a bit too. But I was out at yacht rock (@ the graveyard). As soon as I hung out with other people, I didnt get hit on. I hardly think its the three pounds I lost. Who can see that? But on saturday, I had some short shorts on. And then today, I was wearing yoga tight clothes. I see a common thread. Get it? "Thread"? Hyuck.
I could quite possibly be watching the worst movie ever. Think "A Child Called It" (by David Pelzer) but in movie form. Yet a bit different.
Okay, Im going to do a Yo Mamma joke. I suck at making these up. But I STILL PRESS FORWARD AND TRY!
Yo mamma so fat she watches the Home Shopping Network.
Y'herd?
Must move on.
I got hit on by random strangers a few times this week. I dont understand what a guy thinks is going to happen if he drives past me and stops his car and says, "Girl, you are fine. Are you married?" Thats what happened today. I just say "No thanks." And he just drives off. But what if I meant, "No. Thanks!"? What then?
And then on Saturday, I got hit on (by strangers) a bit too. But I was out at yacht rock (@ the graveyard). As soon as I hung out with other people, I didnt get hit on. I hardly think its the three pounds I lost. Who can see that? But on saturday, I had some short shorts on. And then today, I was wearing yoga tight clothes. I see a common thread. Get it? "Thread"? Hyuck.
I could quite possibly be watching the worst movie ever. Think "A Child Called It" (by David Pelzer) but in movie form. Yet a bit different.
Okay, Im going to do a Yo Mamma joke. I suck at making these up. But I STILL PRESS FORWARD AND TRY!
Yo mamma so fat she watches the Home Shopping Network.
Y'herd?
July 25, 2008
Chuck Klosterman FTW
It strikes me that every wrongheaded sentiment in society ultimately derives from the culture of inherent, unconditional rightness. As I grow older, I find myself less prone to have an opinion about anything, and to distrust just about everyone who does. Whenever I meet someone who openly identifies themselves as a Republican of a Democrat, my immediate thought is always, Well, this person might be interesting, but they'll never say anything about politics that's remotely useful to me. I refuse to discuss abortion with anyone who is pro-life or pro-choice; I refuse to discuss affirmative action with any unemployed white guy or any unemployed black guy. All the world's stupidest people are either zealots or atheists. If you want to truly deduce how intelligent someone is, just ask this person how they feel about any issue that doesn't have an answer; the more certainty they express, the less sense they have. This is because certainty only comes from dogma.
July 22, 2008
birds of a feather
i dont get whats going on, but there have been bird feathers just chillin on my car for the past few days. and they are on my hood, my roof, my trunk - not just confined to one place.
this is madness.
alfred hitchcock was a man before his times.
the birds are coming.
this is madness.
alfred hitchcock was a man before his times.
the birds are coming.
July 21, 2008
Dear Weight Loss
Im sorry but I cheated on you this weekend.
But I have a few questions for you, Mr. Weight Loss.
How do you say no to Cheese-Ums?
How do you say no to Churros from Costco?
How do you not say no to these things after you go swimming and want salty or sweet food?
How?
All I did was invite Breaking of Diet around for the weekend. But Breaking the Diet always wants to bring his friend Weight Gain, too. And Weight Gain always hangs around far after Breaking of Diet has left. What? Does he pay rent? NOOOOOOOO. Then he needs to get on outta here, y'knowwhatimsayin'?
Thank you for that 5 pounds I lost. I hope we will have many more pounds to lose in the future. Weight Loss, I hope to see you this weekend. If not, I will eat fruit and veggies until you show up.
Your Friend that secretly hates you when you're around,
Niki
But I have a few questions for you, Mr. Weight Loss.
How do you say no to Cheese-Ums?
How do you say no to Churros from Costco?
How do you not say no to these things after you go swimming and want salty or sweet food?
How?
All I did was invite Breaking of Diet around for the weekend. But Breaking the Diet always wants to bring his friend Weight Gain, too. And Weight Gain always hangs around far after Breaking of Diet has left. What? Does he pay rent? NOOOOOOOO. Then he needs to get on outta here, y'knowwhatimsayin'?
Thank you for that 5 pounds I lost. I hope we will have many more pounds to lose in the future. Weight Loss, I hope to see you this weekend. If not, I will eat fruit and veggies until you show up.
Your Friend that secretly hates you when you're around,
Niki
picture of julia and some needy dog and me looking like im laughing and urinating in my swimsuit.
PS. I still need to lose 15 lbs you shut your face.
July 18, 2008
blue ice. not to be confused with blue steel
so, my parents are up for a new phone. new every 2 thing that verizon has or something like that. but they are old and i set up an account online. so i just see it faster. so i ordered their new phone for free and i basically signed them up for a new 2 year contract. and i get the new phone.
which im getting the chocolate. i have heard crap reviews but it probably looks a lot cuter than my current flip top. and plus, its BLUE ICE! it will be like im talking into a diamond! arent diamonds basically blue-ish ice?? i felt the black cherry would bring out the ruddiness (ie, zits) on my complexion too much. and black is borrrinnnnnnngsnoooreezzzzz oh wait, was i talking about the color black?
anyways, be jealous that your parents arent computer illiterate and have accounts with verizon like mine are/do.
PS. Okay seriously, i told my parents that they got a new phone and that i was taking it and they just laughed about it and went along because they know im a selfish ass sometimes i mean all the time.
PPS. mom was talking to a coworker and he said something about how she didnt look like she was going to be 62 (bc mom went on and on about the phone thing and about how i probably wouldnt give her a present for her birthday next week or so and how she's going to turn 62). then mom talks about how she looks better with makeup and her "partials" (ie, teeth) although she has lost 8 lbs maybe thats it. and i told my mom that it was all i could do to contain myself from making out with her at that very second. and she laughed at my incest joke. score one for mom.
which im getting the chocolate. i have heard crap reviews but it probably looks a lot cuter than my current flip top. and plus, its BLUE ICE! it will be like im talking into a diamond! arent diamonds basically blue-ish ice?? i felt the black cherry would bring out the ruddiness (ie, zits) on my complexion too much. and black is borrrinnnnnnngsnoooreezzzzz oh wait, was i talking about the color black?
anyways, be jealous that your parents arent computer illiterate and have accounts with verizon like mine are/do.
PS. Okay seriously, i told my parents that they got a new phone and that i was taking it and they just laughed about it and went along because they know im a selfish ass sometimes i mean all the time.
PPS. mom was talking to a coworker and he said something about how she didnt look like she was going to be 62 (bc mom went on and on about the phone thing and about how i probably wouldnt give her a present for her birthday next week or so and how she's going to turn 62). then mom talks about how she looks better with makeup and her "partials" (ie, teeth) although she has lost 8 lbs maybe thats it. and i told my mom that it was all i could do to contain myself from making out with her at that very second. and she laughed at my incest joke. score one for mom.
dark night
The Dark Knight opened up last night, so now I get to hear about how "awesome" it was from all the people who saw the midnight showing for the next 24 hours. Yayyyy.
But I'm still reeling from Wall-E. Wall-E is the nicest trash compactor robot ever. I'm sure of it. I dont know if Wall-E and Eve were as good of a match as those two robots in Bjork's All is Full of Love video (just glancing at youtube to find that link ... who keeps watching my Lucky Jim book review? WTF? anyways). And I really like movies where even though there is little to no talking, you are still completely engrossed in what's going on (Umm, Castaway is the only moving coming to mind right now). Some people dont like movies with little to no talking. I think it's because they arent comfortable with silence. Maybe some yoga could help them, no?
Totally didnt wake up for 6 am yoga. I fail!
But I'm still reeling from Wall-E. Wall-E is the nicest trash compactor robot ever. I'm sure of it. I dont know if Wall-E and Eve were as good of a match as those two robots in Bjork's All is Full of Love video (just glancing at youtube to find that link ... who keeps watching my Lucky Jim book review? WTF? anyways). And I really like movies where even though there is little to no talking, you are still completely engrossed in what's going on (Umm, Castaway is the only moving coming to mind right now). Some people dont like movies with little to no talking. I think it's because they arent comfortable with silence. Maybe some yoga could help them, no?
Totally didnt wake up for 6 am yoga. I fail!
July 15, 2008
It seemed like the thing to do.
At work, I felt the need to do a handstand in the bathroom.
And I DID a handstand in the bathroom.
Handstands are mood lifters.
And my mood has been lifted.
I've been answering these PHONES all day today and that is not my JOB! And no one is picking up their calls so I have to be like "Can I transfer you to their voicemail?" and they are like "Well, maybe you can help me" and I want to be like UMMM NO I CANT HELP YOU BELIEVE ME I CANT WHY DONT YOU LET ME TRANSFER YOU TO THEIR VOICEMAIL AND THEN YOU CAN GO SHOOT YOURSELF? Have a Nice Day.
And I DID a handstand in the bathroom.
Handstands are mood lifters.
And my mood has been lifted.
I've been answering these PHONES all day today and that is not my JOB! And no one is picking up their calls so I have to be like "Can I transfer you to their voicemail?" and they are like "Well, maybe you can help me" and I want to be like UMMM NO I CANT HELP YOU BELIEVE ME I CANT WHY DONT YOU LET ME TRANSFER YOU TO THEIR VOICEMAIL AND THEN YOU CAN GO SHOOT YOURSELF? Have a Nice Day.
July 14, 2008
PS
Those five *ess pounds really he*ped me out with my chattarungas today. I cou*d do them easier. Its like my arms knew there was five *ess pounds it had to *ower to the ground.
I still cant do planks worth a damn though. MIght need to *ose another 10 for that ...
(oh, the AC wasnt working in yoga room today. so i think the other reason that the chattarungas were so "easy" was because i think we on*y did three of them the who*e c*ass.)
I still cant do planks worth a damn though. MIght need to *ose another 10 for that ...
(oh, the AC wasnt working in yoga room today. so i think the other reason that the chattarungas were so "easy" was because i think we on*y did three of them the who*e c*ass.)
more awesomeness
I also lost five pounds! (from the 20 I've gained). Still got some ways to go. But at least Im heading in the right direction. Which is down. Not up.
One of my *etters is randomly working on the keyboard.
can you guess which one?
One of my *etters is randomly working on the keyboard.
can you guess which one?
good weekend
I had a good weekend! life is much better!
Mick got out of the veteran's hospital this friday.
it was weird to go there because there were a lot of people who had limbs missing. whereas, at a regular hospital, people look "whole" they just have more viruses or blood on them ... yes. oh, and apparently, the VA hospital loves jesus. I heard a lot of "god bless yheard?" and the like when i got my salad in the cafeteria.
i played wallyball on saturday. wallyball is basically like volleyball but, y'know, with walls. we went to the tanners house and they built a racquetball court inside their house (hey, why not?). plus, they had this adorable dog that was white and tiny. i thought i hated small dogs because they tend to be yippy, ill behaved, etc. but this dog was superb. im kinda bummed that my generalizations dont hold up sometimes. (KEY WORD: sometimes).
ashley went to church this sunday! during sacrament (its completely quiet in the singles ward i go to), there were these guys two rows back. they were whispering. and you know, how when you sing in church, you cant really hear the ppl in front of you sing, but if you have an american idol reject belting out "As I Have Loved You" behind you, then you hear them? Well, I think they didnt know that when you are behind someone, your whispers tend to carry forward. So I heard him whisper, "dude, that girl directly in front of us is really hot." I about died laughing. I told Ash what he said and she was like "Who was he talking about?" And i said, "either me or you or that girl beside us." Later on, we talked to the church whisperer ... and he basically told ashley she was "so hot".
Another case solved.
Also, we went to dharmesh's house to play board games! don came with. i still love apples to apples, but i also like sequence. thats my new game i like. but i still kind of hate rummikub. there's a burping/seal thing that happened which i dont want to get into right now.
All the other stuff that happened went in my personal journal that i have to write in. So refer to it for the annotations and the judgmentalness, and hotness, and all around "good stuff".
Mick got out of the veteran's hospital this friday.
it was weird to go there because there were a lot of people who had limbs missing. whereas, at a regular hospital, people look "whole" they just have more viruses or blood on them ... yes. oh, and apparently, the VA hospital loves jesus. I heard a lot of "god bless yheard?" and the like when i got my salad in the cafeteria.
i played wallyball on saturday. wallyball is basically like volleyball but, y'know, with walls. we went to the tanners house and they built a racquetball court inside their house (hey, why not?). plus, they had this adorable dog that was white and tiny. i thought i hated small dogs because they tend to be yippy, ill behaved, etc. but this dog was superb. im kinda bummed that my generalizations dont hold up sometimes. (KEY WORD: sometimes).
ashley went to church this sunday! during sacrament (its completely quiet in the singles ward i go to), there were these guys two rows back. they were whispering. and you know, how when you sing in church, you cant really hear the ppl in front of you sing, but if you have an american idol reject belting out "As I Have Loved You" behind you, then you hear them? Well, I think they didnt know that when you are behind someone, your whispers tend to carry forward. So I heard him whisper, "dude, that girl directly in front of us is really hot." I about died laughing. I told Ash what he said and she was like "Who was he talking about?" And i said, "either me or you or that girl beside us." Later on, we talked to the church whisperer ... and he basically told ashley she was "so hot".
Another case solved.
Also, we went to dharmesh's house to play board games! don came with. i still love apples to apples, but i also like sequence. thats my new game i like. but i still kind of hate rummikub. there's a burping/seal thing that happened which i dont want to get into right now.
All the other stuff that happened went in my personal journal that i have to write in. So refer to it for the annotations and the judgmentalness, and hotness, and all around "good stuff".
July 9, 2008
every romantic comedy ever made
Guy and Girl meet
Guy and Girl hate each other
Guy realizes that Girl is the one
Comedic Tension
Girl realizes that Guy is the one
Comedic event that makes Girl hate Guy
Girl goes out with Better Looking Man
Guy (or Guy's closest friend) comes up with a weird scheme to get Girl back
Girl realizes mistake in getting rid of Guy
Girl and Guy live happily ever after
Guy and Girl hate each other
Guy realizes that Girl is the one
Comedic Tension
Girl realizes that Guy is the one
Comedic event that makes Girl hate Guy
Girl goes out with Better Looking Man
Guy (or Guy's closest friend) comes up with a weird scheme to get Girl back
Girl realizes mistake in getting rid of Guy
Girl and Guy live happily ever after
EAT MY JUSTICE!
Tick: It's your turn now, Thorace-bog.
Thrakkorzog: It's Thrakkorzog. Thrakkorzog. With a K.
Tick: We're only serving humble pie, Whatchamazog.
Thrakkorzog: For the last time, it's...
Tick: Thorax-and-a-bog. Four-yacks-and-a-dog.
Thrakkorzog: No.
Tick: Ah, laxative-log.
Thrakkorzog: No, no, no.
Tick: Sapsucker-frog.
Thrakkorzog: Thrakkorzog.
Tick: Susan?
Thrakkorzog: Now you're doing it on purpose. How juvenile.
Arthur! That belt is a fashion accessory of evil! And evil is never in fashion!
We've got to smack evil on the snout with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness!
Terror: You think you can take me, do ya?
Tick: You got that right, you big weenie.
Terror: Bah! I'll fold you into my wallet and spend you on a whore!
Interviewer: Can you see through steel?
Tick: No
Interviewer: Can you create energy based multiples of yourself?
Tick: Whoa! Nope
Interviewer: Can you destroy the earth?
Tick: YE GADS! I hope not! That's where I keep all of my stuff!
I can't read your crazy moon language!
Thrakkorzog: It's Thrakkorzog. Thrakkorzog. With a K.
Tick: We're only serving humble pie, Whatchamazog.
Thrakkorzog: For the last time, it's...
Tick: Thorax-and-a-bog. Four-yacks-and-a-dog.
Thrakkorzog: No.
Tick: Ah, laxative-log.
Thrakkorzog: No, no, no.
Tick: Sapsucker-frog.
Thrakkorzog: Thrakkorzog.
Tick: Susan?
Thrakkorzog: Now you're doing it on purpose. How juvenile.
Arthur! That belt is a fashion accessory of evil! And evil is never in fashion!
We've got to smack evil on the snout with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness!
Terror: You think you can take me, do ya?
Tick: You got that right, you big weenie.
Terror: Bah! I'll fold you into my wallet and spend you on a whore!
Interviewer: Can you see through steel?
Tick: No
Interviewer: Can you create energy based multiples of yourself?
Tick: Whoa! Nope
Interviewer: Can you destroy the earth?
Tick: YE GADS! I hope not! That's where I keep all of my stuff!
I can't read your crazy moon language!
July 8, 2008
not to mention
that im also uber paranoid and swore i overheard my roommate talking to some other person and i heard words like "roommate" "moving" "if i get this job".
omg what if i have to move? I HATE MOVING. how long will i have? 2 months? 1 month? a day? AHHHHHHH.
(they could have been talking about something completely off the subject though. not only am i paranoid, did i mention i might have selective hearing issues? and this is what my selective hearing grants me? little tid bits of information that might be non-information? currently, life is NOT beautiful.)
omg what if i have to move? I HATE MOVING. how long will i have? 2 months? 1 month? a day? AHHHHHHH.
(they could have been talking about something completely off the subject though. not only am i paranoid, did i mention i might have selective hearing issues? and this is what my selective hearing grants me? little tid bits of information that might be non-information? currently, life is NOT beautiful.)
The D word.
My mom calls me about 1 pm and tells me my stepdad is in the hospital. Renal failure? I dont know what to do. There's just so much of my life going on right now and it is really scary to have this happen. I cant deal. Seems like right when I get on solid ground (the ground was hardly "solid" but I was actually in a groove/happy/whatnot), something knocks me down. And I know I sound selfish. Because Im just talking about me, me, me but, on the other end, there's someone who is sick and not doing well. ANd I'm all worried about how this will affect MY life.
My parents dont have a will. So that's another scary thing. I dont know if the house is in my mom's name too or not. Or just my stepdad's. My grandmother died this past year, so I mentioned that we should probably set that up. Especially since my mother might not be on the house agreements and I am not technically adopted by my stepdad.
Im too scared to say the D word; it's easier to talk about wills. I hope thats not where this is going so soon. Eventually all things come to the D word though.
My stepdad and I were never the closest of close, but I want him to see me get married and have kids (hell, even I want to see that before I die) and all that jazz.
Ugh.
TOO MUCH.
I dont want to take this too seriously because I know I will just start bawling. I've already cried like two times talking about it today. With my mom (she's kind of a hypochondriac) you never know if something is serious or not. And, with my stepdad, he wont tell you if he's seriously hurt or not. I guess they do make sort of a match.
My parents dont have a will. So that's another scary thing. I dont know if the house is in my mom's name too or not. Or just my stepdad's. My grandmother died this past year, so I mentioned that we should probably set that up. Especially since my mother might not be on the house agreements and I am not technically adopted by my stepdad.
Im too scared to say the D word; it's easier to talk about wills. I hope thats not where this is going so soon. Eventually all things come to the D word though.
My stepdad and I were never the closest of close, but I want him to see me get married and have kids (hell, even I want to see that before I die) and all that jazz.
Ugh.
TOO MUCH.
I dont want to take this too seriously because I know I will just start bawling. I've already cried like two times talking about it today. With my mom (she's kind of a hypochondriac) you never know if something is serious or not. And, with my stepdad, he wont tell you if he's seriously hurt or not. I guess they do make sort of a match.
July 2, 2008
$175 mistake
while i was in new york, i just wasnt paying attention to my checking account. i typically never do. since im rollin in the dough and all (thats a total sarcasmic comment there). but i usually am not that tight with my finances where i have to watch my funds all motherly like.
WELL. i basically made 5 separate charges after my account went overdrawn.
5 times 35 = 175.
and it just effing sucks.
i could have totally prevented that by using the cash i had or not buying the stuff in the first place. UGH. i just make some stupid mistakes sometimes and its frustrating to deal with the consequences because the problem could have been easily prevented.
WELL. i basically made 5 separate charges after my account went overdrawn.
5 times 35 = 175.
and it just effing sucks.
i could have totally prevented that by using the cash i had or not buying the stuff in the first place. UGH. i just make some stupid mistakes sometimes and its frustrating to deal with the consequences because the problem could have been easily prevented.
July 1, 2008
few things i noticed about new york city
-the subway is hot. the actual trains are air-conditioned, but the underground part is not.
-new york is humid. seriously humid. i thought it was only humid at the equator but i was wrong. dead wrong.
-atlanta is black, white and mexican. we describe people as "minorities". in new york, its just diversity.
-there are a lot of tourists in nyc. and not just american tourists, but everywhere else tourists too. i met people from bulgaria, germany, france, italy, uk, lebanon, some other middle eastern country, a korean, and many other asians from god knows where. we had to see this one german couple 4 times over 2 days. we saw them on the subway, in battery park, in times square (like the next day), and i think we walked past them somewhere else too. walking on the street monday morning, new york city was almost a different experience because the tourists were diminished and the actual new yorkers came out of hiding.
-people in manhattan that panhandle have skills. so they play the guitar, dance, sing, or do all three at once.
-you walk a lot if you are in new york.
-the streets are filled with car honking. i dont think there's anything really worth honking at, but i think people just like to ... honk. they honk if someone doesnt go right when the light turns green, they honk when they are going through the green light because a pedestrian is crossing the street, they honk when the light is green but the person in front of them is turning right but they cant go because pedestrians are in the way, they honk for jesus, i dont really know. but they honk a lot.
-i only met one rude person in new york. the rest were nice and chatty :D (the rude person worked for the subway station. if you dont like people, then i highy suggest you dont work at a subway station behind the help desk. this doesnt seem like a hard concept to grasp, but whatever).
-new york city is big.
okay i had a great time in new york! i was on the subway a lot. every time i wasnt with dharmesh, i pretty much got lost, took the wrong train, took the right train but took it the wrong way, or just stood there with a confused look on my face. the subway in new york is really pretty compared to marta. the new york subway is metal looking and helvetica font is everywhere like woah. most of the stations have brick walls and its pretty clean. marta trains look like a 70s refrigerator and people dont really ride it. most of the time in new york city, i had to stand because there was no room.
oh, and my favorite part of new york city was standing on the empire state building, the met and the moma, and fuerza bruta. omg, fuerza bruta was awesome.
oh, and dharmesh was pretty funny. he walked in on a homeless guy when he had to go to the bathroom. and then when we were on top of the empire state buiding, he leaned back but i guess the concrete was farther away than he thought, then he got this look like he was free falling off the side of the building. i guess its incredibly funny when you see a friend think they are going to die.
oh, and DONT SPEND THE EXTRA 15/19 BUCKS TO GO TO THE TIP TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. ITs so not worth it. You are higher, but you are surrounded by protective glass and its lame.
-new york is humid. seriously humid. i thought it was only humid at the equator but i was wrong. dead wrong.
-atlanta is black, white and mexican. we describe people as "minorities". in new york, its just diversity.
-there are a lot of tourists in nyc. and not just american tourists, but everywhere else tourists too. i met people from bulgaria, germany, france, italy, uk, lebanon, some other middle eastern country, a korean, and many other asians from god knows where. we had to see this one german couple 4 times over 2 days. we saw them on the subway, in battery park, in times square (like the next day), and i think we walked past them somewhere else too. walking on the street monday morning, new york city was almost a different experience because the tourists were diminished and the actual new yorkers came out of hiding.
-people in manhattan that panhandle have skills. so they play the guitar, dance, sing, or do all three at once.
-you walk a lot if you are in new york.
-the streets are filled with car honking. i dont think there's anything really worth honking at, but i think people just like to ... honk. they honk if someone doesnt go right when the light turns green, they honk when they are going through the green light because a pedestrian is crossing the street, they honk when the light is green but the person in front of them is turning right but they cant go because pedestrians are in the way, they honk for jesus, i dont really know. but they honk a lot.
-i only met one rude person in new york. the rest were nice and chatty :D (the rude person worked for the subway station. if you dont like people, then i highy suggest you dont work at a subway station behind the help desk. this doesnt seem like a hard concept to grasp, but whatever).
-new york city is big.
okay i had a great time in new york! i was on the subway a lot. every time i wasnt with dharmesh, i pretty much got lost, took the wrong train, took the right train but took it the wrong way, or just stood there with a confused look on my face. the subway in new york is really pretty compared to marta. the new york subway is metal looking and helvetica font is everywhere like woah. most of the stations have brick walls and its pretty clean. marta trains look like a 70s refrigerator and people dont really ride it. most of the time in new york city, i had to stand because there was no room.
oh, and my favorite part of new york city was standing on the empire state building, the met and the moma, and fuerza bruta. omg, fuerza bruta was awesome.
oh, and dharmesh was pretty funny. he walked in on a homeless guy when he had to go to the bathroom. and then when we were on top of the empire state buiding, he leaned back but i guess the concrete was farther away than he thought, then he got this look like he was free falling off the side of the building. i guess its incredibly funny when you see a friend think they are going to die.
oh, and DONT SPEND THE EXTRA 15/19 BUCKS TO GO TO THE TIP TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. ITs so not worth it. You are higher, but you are surrounded by protective glass and its lame.
June 20, 2008
the difference between granular, powder, and noodles
at our company, we order various grain sizes of dry chemicals.
and the office secretary asked me, "whats the difference between them?"
so I, realizing she has no science background whatsoever, say, "well, powder is the consistency of blush. and granular is something like salt. and noodles are ... "
and she pipes in, "like rice?"
yeah, so i think we connected on that intellectual level.
and the office secretary asked me, "whats the difference between them?"
so I, realizing she has no science background whatsoever, say, "well, powder is the consistency of blush. and granular is something like salt. and noodles are ... "
and she pipes in, "like rice?"
yeah, so i think we connected on that intellectual level.
June 19, 2008
felt productive last night
it's amazing what you can do when you dont do nothing all day. (Dont do nothing? Yeah, thats what I meant).
So I get home close to 5pm.
530-640: ride around Scaryetta/Kennesaw Mountain. About 8 miles. See an asian who claims to have seen me ride on Cobb Parkway (which I dont do ever). Its a long story. Also saw some neighborhood kids. Emphasis on the 'hood. Did you ever take those quizzes asking how many 8 year olds could you take? I definitely lower my number to no more than 6. Have you ever seen six 8 year olds together? I felt like I was in middle school all over again with my helmet, perfect posture, and bike rack riding through their judgmental seedy little eyes.
[500-530: I was shaving my legs and bike prepping. I didnt think you needed to know all that. Thats why Im mentioning that you didnt need to know all that. But by mentioning that you didnt need to know all that, you end up knowing all that. Okay okay I'll do it: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.]
640-700: Walk Zoey. And when I say "walk Zoey" I mean Zoey walked and I rode my bike with her leash in my hand.
700-705: Met crazy neighbor (think the crazy cat lady from the simpsons but with a dog). Her dog was all sniffing Zoey and not on a leash. And she asks me to grab her dog because her dog was much more interested in Zoey and not in the meat she was trying to get her with. I think her dog's name is something weird. Like Tika or Tutu.
705-720: Made some fake chicken with A1 sauce on it. And then I ate it.
720-920: Put some laundry in the washer. Watched MST3K: Mitchell. A mass wave of sleepiness washed over me.
920-930: Turned off the movie. Read some of Lucky Jim. Fell asleep on top of the covers with my lamp that-I-think-will-start-fires-if-I-ever-left-it-on on.
I also took a shower sometime after the bike ride and before the movie. Im pretty sure my times are accurate though. So I think my shower happened during a break in the space-time continuum.
PS. This blog could also be titled: why i woke up at 430 am in the morning. (who falls asleep before 10 pm these days? Oh. I do.)
So I get home close to 5pm.
530-640: ride around Scaryetta/Kennesaw Mountain. About 8 miles. See an asian who claims to have seen me ride on Cobb Parkway (which I dont do ever). Its a long story. Also saw some neighborhood kids. Emphasis on the 'hood. Did you ever take those quizzes asking how many 8 year olds could you take? I definitely lower my number to no more than 6. Have you ever seen six 8 year olds together? I felt like I was in middle school all over again with my helmet, perfect posture, and bike rack riding through their judgmental seedy little eyes.
[500-530: I was shaving my legs and bike prepping. I didnt think you needed to know all that. Thats why Im mentioning that you didnt need to know all that. But by mentioning that you didnt need to know all that, you end up knowing all that. Okay okay I'll do it: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.]
640-700: Walk Zoey. And when I say "walk Zoey" I mean Zoey walked and I rode my bike with her leash in my hand.
700-705: Met crazy neighbor (think the crazy cat lady from the simpsons but with a dog). Her dog was all sniffing Zoey and not on a leash. And she asks me to grab her dog because her dog was much more interested in Zoey and not in the meat she was trying to get her with. I think her dog's name is something weird. Like Tika or Tutu.
705-720: Made some fake chicken with A1 sauce on it. And then I ate it.
720-920: Put some laundry in the washer. Watched MST3K: Mitchell. A mass wave of sleepiness washed over me.
920-930: Turned off the movie. Read some of Lucky Jim. Fell asleep on top of the covers with my lamp that-I-think-will-start-fires-if-I-ever-left-it-on on.
I also took a shower sometime after the bike ride and before the movie. Im pretty sure my times are accurate though. So I think my shower happened during a break in the space-time continuum.
PS. This blog could also be titled: why i woke up at 430 am in the morning. (who falls asleep before 10 pm these days? Oh. I do.)
June 18, 2008
Michael Jackson resides here
This black guy at work was asking for change [for the vending machine I presume].
So I say, "Change starts here, brother" and I pointed to his chest.
This is all.
So I say, "Change starts here, brother" and I pointed to his chest.
This is all.
June 17, 2008
Stuff to buy
Okay Im going to get a COSTCO membership.
And then I think I saw a $170 CoolPix AShton Kutcher digital camera there.
Good plan.
And then I think I saw a $170 CoolPix AShton Kutcher digital camera there.
Good plan.
Excerpt: "Chapter: Penelope" by James Joyce, from Ulysses.
"Molly's soliloquy ends, "O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets and pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibralter as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Morrish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes."
I, like Sharon, really like run on sentences. That part at the end ... with all the "yes"ses and the "and"s and its lack of punctuation makes me yes
June 16, 2008
Lucky Jim
Not only is the 1st paragraph of Ch. 6 the best description of a hangover I've ever read ...
"His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum."
But I read this today too.
"All the same, what messes these women got themselves into over nothing. Men got themselves into messes too, and ones that weren't so easily got out of, but their messes arose from attempts to satisfy real and simple needs."
Dont particularly agree with that 100% (the first half, yes; the second half, not so much) but still was funny to read because the first part is SO TRUE SOMETIMES.
You couldnt believe some of the problems I've dreamt up in my head that didnt really exist.
"His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum."
But I read this today too.
"All the same, what messes these women got themselves into over nothing. Men got themselves into messes too, and ones that weren't so easily got out of, but their messes arose from attempts to satisfy real and simple needs."
Dont particularly agree with that 100% (the first half, yes; the second half, not so much) but still was funny to read because the first part is SO TRUE SOMETIMES.
You couldnt believe some of the problems I've dreamt up in my head that didnt really exist.
June 13, 2008
funny stuff from tv
Okay Im so lame, Im blogging about funny and/or relevant stuff I heard on tv.
So.
LAST COMIC STANDING
I heard two yoga jokes so I HAD to make note.
Stretching to rap music. Its called Yo Yo Yoga.
Seth would like that I bet. Me, not so much. Okay, I'll give it an "eh".
This other comedian said how yoga was an entire hour of holding in a fart. That was funny. I've never farted during yoga though. Because I'm a delicate flower and I do not participate in such nonsense as farting. Especially during something as ancient and sacred as yoga.
CONAN O BRIAN
So during his monologue Conan says something like this: In California, a female figure skater told police someone slipped a roofie in her drink. She said she's not sure who did it, but she was sure it wasnt a male figure skater.
Okay I cracked up laughing.
But Conan's audience was silent. And then Conan starts laughing and says, "That did so badly, it amused me." And he says something about how after that joke was said, a quiet permeated the room that you cant get in deep space.
male figure skaters = gay. I got it Conan.
TV - good times.
[insert my typical tv disclaimer: i love tv but i dont spend my days wasting away in front of it. i watch less than 1 hour of tv a night. for sure, son.]
So.
LAST COMIC STANDING
I heard two yoga jokes so I HAD to make note.
Stretching to rap music. Its called Yo Yo Yoga.
Seth would like that I bet. Me, not so much. Okay, I'll give it an "eh".
This other comedian said how yoga was an entire hour of holding in a fart. That was funny. I've never farted during yoga though. Because I'm a delicate flower and I do not participate in such nonsense as farting. Especially during something as ancient and sacred as yoga.
CONAN O BRIAN
So during his monologue Conan says something like this: In California, a female figure skater told police someone slipped a roofie in her drink. She said she's not sure who did it, but she was sure it wasnt a male figure skater.
Okay I cracked up laughing.
But Conan's audience was silent. And then Conan starts laughing and says, "That did so badly, it amused me." And he says something about how after that joke was said, a quiet permeated the room that you cant get in deep space.
male figure skaters = gay. I got it Conan.
TV - good times.
[insert my typical tv disclaimer: i love tv but i dont spend my days wasting away in front of it. i watch less than 1 hour of tv a night. for sure, son.]
June 12, 2008
but .. but ... you guys shared cookies.
I hope this isnt tacky. The fact that I wrote that previous sentence tells me that, in fact, yes this will be tacky.
Anyways, this LDS couple that I dont really know broke up.
Im just a little surprised because
A. they made a cute couple Yes it deserves its own letter.
B. I saw the male hug and swing the girl around in a circle. Straight up The Notebook style, youknowwhutImsayin. If a bitter person saw that they would have had no problem rolling their eyes and saying, "COME ON. GIVE ME A BREAK."
C. I SAW THEM EAT COOKIES TOGETHER
ITs completely strange for me to see two completely normal looking LDS folks date for awhile and not automatically get hitched. It's just weird.
Im used to seeing the first serious boyfriend becoming someone's eternal companion.
So I kinda admire them for knowing what they want. Or dont want.
And, on the other hand, Sharon and I gmailed today about how its okay to "settle" (in the way THIS article means to settle). I would go more into this but I dont want to get too technical and backtrack everything Im saying. Suffice to say, I just hope that they didnt throw away something really special over something real petty.
I have just seen far too many divorces from LDS people (sealed in the temple, btw) who married for the sake of getting married in their teens and not make it to their 5 year anniversary. Without even trying, I can think of five couples that didnt make it, temple marriage and all. It seems like most of them, a partner just simply wasnt happy. No money or cheating or "fell out of love" issues. Just both partners werent giving it their all.
Dont mean to brag but I honestly think I can go the distance with a willing participant (male human, preferably).
I'm loyal like a freakin dog. When Im in a relationship, Im not even tempted to resolve things through "giving up" or check out other guys. But, I do date up. Which automatically means the guy has the short end of the schtick.
But for real yo. Even with my friends - they are mainly ones I met in middle school. I still hang out with friends that have babies and husbands. I CARE I CANT HELP IT!
Once we're tight I'll never let you go. [insert psycho music]
Anyways, this LDS couple that I dont really know broke up.
Im just a little surprised because
A. they made a cute couple Yes it deserves its own letter.
B. I saw the male hug and swing the girl around in a circle. Straight up The Notebook style, youknowwhutImsayin. If a bitter person saw that they would have had no problem rolling their eyes and saying, "COME ON. GIVE ME A BREAK."
C. I SAW THEM EAT COOKIES TOGETHER
ITs completely strange for me to see two completely normal looking LDS folks date for awhile and not automatically get hitched. It's just weird.
Im used to seeing the first serious boyfriend becoming someone's eternal companion.
So I kinda admire them for knowing what they want. Or dont want.
And, on the other hand, Sharon and I gmailed today about how its okay to "settle" (in the way THIS article means to settle). I would go more into this but I dont want to get too technical and backtrack everything Im saying. Suffice to say, I just hope that they didnt throw away something really special over something real petty.
I have just seen far too many divorces from LDS people (sealed in the temple, btw) who married for the sake of getting married in their teens and not make it to their 5 year anniversary. Without even trying, I can think of five couples that didnt make it, temple marriage and all. It seems like most of them, a partner just simply wasnt happy. No money or cheating or "fell out of love" issues. Just both partners werent giving it their all.
Dont mean to brag but I honestly think I can go the distance with a willing participant (male human, preferably).
I'm loyal like a freakin dog. When Im in a relationship, Im not even tempted to resolve things through "giving up" or check out other guys. But, I do date up. Which automatically means the guy has the short end of the schtick.
But for real yo. Even with my friends - they are mainly ones I met in middle school. I still hang out with friends that have babies and husbands. I CARE I CANT HELP IT!
Once we're tight I'll never let you go. [insert psycho music]
June 11, 2008
Foot in mouth disease. Still there.
Have you ever worked out and gotten sore from things you shouldnt have gotten sore at because it's been awhile since you've been to the gym? Yeah, me neither.
I honestly think my arms werent meant to do chattarungas.
Foot in mouth moment: So today we went out to eat with Virginia, Dennis, Chip, Lucas, and me. We were talking about Virginia's baby name and its going to be Lila. EXCELLENT choice. 4 letters. 2 syllables. A good efficient name right?
So then we talk about how certain names tend to belong to really horrible people. Like most Brooke's are fat (except, like, one). And few supermodels are named Helga ...
So I go, "AMANDAs! Ugh, like most are so annoying." (and I was thinking about these two blond girls that were kind of slutty in high school). But I TOTALLY forgot that Lucas's sister is named Amanda! I did not mean her at all.
So then Virginia recounts a story from past Halloween. I had totally forgot about this. But we were at Addie's house and her friend was dressed up as a witch. And her "costume" consisted of a Dollar General witch's hat and some high school graduation stoal. And I say, "Oh, thats so inventive. If I was ever low on money I could steal your idea." Right after it popped out of my mouth I was in okay-we-gotta-go-now mode. I apologized but since she didnt really know me, I dont think it came across that sincere.
And apparently I had told Chip he was going to hell for smoking cigarettes and being gay. Which, I highly doubt I did. He must be making stuff up.
I honestly think my arms werent meant to do chattarungas.
Foot in mouth moment: So today we went out to eat with Virginia, Dennis, Chip, Lucas, and me. We were talking about Virginia's baby name and its going to be Lila. EXCELLENT choice. 4 letters. 2 syllables. A good efficient name right?
So then we talk about how certain names tend to belong to really horrible people. Like most Brooke's are fat (except, like, one). And few supermodels are named Helga ...
So I go, "AMANDAs! Ugh, like most are so annoying." (and I was thinking about these two blond girls that were kind of slutty in high school). But I TOTALLY forgot that Lucas's sister is named Amanda! I did not mean her at all.
So then Virginia recounts a story from past Halloween. I had totally forgot about this. But we were at Addie's house and her friend was dressed up as a witch. And her "costume" consisted of a Dollar General witch's hat and some high school graduation stoal. And I say, "Oh, thats so inventive. If I was ever low on money I could steal your idea." Right after it popped out of my mouth I was in okay-we-gotta-go-now mode. I apologized but since she didnt really know me, I dont think it came across that sincere.
And apparently I had told Chip he was going to hell for smoking cigarettes and being gay. Which, I highly doubt I did. He must be making stuff up.
The best part, the best part of waking up is _____ in your cup.
I heard Zoey scratching on my door but it was 3 am or something and I was like "girlfriend can wait!"
Apparently, I was wrong. She couldnt wait. There's nothing like smelling dog crap where ever you walk in the morning. And at first, I couldnt find it! Zoey is a big dog and the smell was everywhere. How could I not find the origin of the odor??!!
Well I found it. Thankfully (and i mean that in the most relative way ever) it was on hardwood floor. I got like 4 good handfuls of the "nuggets" before I even got to the wet stuff (a reason why I personally dont feed dogs wet dog food but whatever).
Finally I got the grabbable stuff up and then was left with what was smeared into the floor. And some of the hardwood floor doesnt meet perfectly creating cracks. And so I had to get a butter knife and scrape it all out. The smell was still horrible. Im thinking the bulk of the dog crap is put away so therefore the smell should be diminished. But apparently bad odor just exists and isnt based on mass of the crap it came from.
To make a 30 minute gag inducing story short ... thanks to Comet, that butterknife and a strong stomach, the house is free of any [seeable] dog poop. And [smellable] dog poop smell.
GOOOOO NIKI! WE'RE NUMBER ONE WE'RE NUMBER ONE!
So thats my adventures in dog sitting story.
PS. I was not mad at Zoey at all. Shes a very good dog and this was just an accident. I felt bad for her because diarrhea can be a bad thing for a dog to go through.
I mean, thats what I've read ...
Apparently, I was wrong. She couldnt wait. There's nothing like smelling dog crap where ever you walk in the morning. And at first, I couldnt find it! Zoey is a big dog and the smell was everywhere. How could I not find the origin of the odor??!!
Well I found it. Thankfully (and i mean that in the most relative way ever) it was on hardwood floor. I got like 4 good handfuls of the "nuggets" before I even got to the wet stuff (a reason why I personally dont feed dogs wet dog food but whatever).
Finally I got the grabbable stuff up and then was left with what was smeared into the floor. And some of the hardwood floor doesnt meet perfectly creating cracks. And so I had to get a butter knife and scrape it all out. The smell was still horrible. Im thinking the bulk of the dog crap is put away so therefore the smell should be diminished. But apparently bad odor just exists and isnt based on mass of the crap it came from.
To make a 30 minute gag inducing story short ... thanks to Comet, that butterknife and a strong stomach, the house is free of any [seeable] dog poop. And [smellable] dog poop smell.
GOOOOO NIKI! WE'RE NUMBER ONE WE'RE NUMBER ONE!
So thats my adventures in dog sitting story.
PS. I was not mad at Zoey at all. Shes a very good dog and this was just an accident. I felt bad for her because diarrhea can be a bad thing for a dog to go through.
I mean, thats what I've read ...
June 9, 2008
if i told you once i told you a thousand times
i tell the guys in the lab this all the time. over and over again. broken record and all that.
i say: dont clean glass in the sink when there's other glass in the sink.
and what do they do? clean glass when there's glass in the sink.
i cant begin to describe how much glassware they've broken while cleaning beakers when there's glass already in the sink. beakers just need to ding another beaker and they're cracked and useless.
and the 4l beaker that was broken today ... its like 40 bucks from fisher.
i say: dont clean glass in the sink when there's other glass in the sink.
and what do they do? clean glass when there's glass in the sink.
i cant begin to describe how much glassware they've broken while cleaning beakers when there's glass already in the sink. beakers just need to ding another beaker and they're cracked and useless.
and the 4l beaker that was broken today ... its like 40 bucks from fisher.
dogs are stupid - i mean - cute.
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:
6:00 am - At last! I go pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched tv with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
6:00 am - At last! I go pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched tv with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
SBZ part of my weekend
So SBZ and I were at her place on Sunday.
YUM! She made fantabulous Strawberry Shortcake.
She says the shortcake part was basically like a sweet biscuit. And I cut up the strawberries. And she asks me to pick out one of the shortcake things she made. And I did. And then she pushes me away and is like "I'll fix the rest." Who likes cooking like that? I guess if you're dedicated to a craft, you're dedicated to a craft. Who am I to argue and get in the way?
So as this deliciousness was settling, I told SBZ about some of church. And then I told her as I was leaving church, I mentioned to these 2 guys in the foyer (ie, hot mess) that we were going to watch an 80s movie about a girl pretending to be a boy. The not hot mess guy goes, "Is Hillary Swank in it?" Ummm, that's a no. I hope he wasnt thinking about Boys Dont Cry. Because A. Not a comedy. B. Not from the 80s. C. See A. I dont think Id watch Boys Dont Cry with SBZ. Nothing like seeing a transgendered Hillary Swank getting raped on a Sunday afternoon with a good friend.
Let's just hope he really meant The Next Karate Kid. (Which is from 1994 btw - thanks imdb.com).
After our food settled, we went to the Chattahoochee and walked two miles. I thought my gray shirt didnt show sweat (which is really surprising because when does gray NOT show sweat?). But after the first mile, the gray didnt disappoint. We saw a hot guy jogging. Real bouncy. When I run, its pretty slow and deliberate. So I want to punch bouncy runners in the face. But I waved to him instead. And then we saw this guy and woman with a golden retriever. And I said something funny but I cant remember anymore. But seriously the dog had a look on his face that was like, "AC, please. I have fur. It's hot." One of those three thoughts was definitely running through his mind. Im a dog whisperer, I know these things. SBZ and I talked about yoga and spin, the deeper points of life. And I sung that Mariah Carey song, "Bye bye". And we talked about old Mariah versus new Mariah. Again, the deeper points of life. We see this other guy who has clearly killed someone. Or will in the future. And we (well, I) start talking about how many calories it takes to kill someone ... depending on the assailant's physical health and the victim's physical health. SBZ thought he heard us (me), but I dont think he did. We're (I'm) still alive arent we (I)?
SBZ also made me listen to Raven Simone. I would be mad at her but our time is short.
Okay so we saw Just One of the Guys. What a typical 80s movie! The clothes. The boob shots in PG-13. The mean dumb jock guy. Rating guys by looks, then by car. It was all there. Some other points of the movie.
- Her name was Terry. What a horrible name. SBZ goes, "Pat?"
- Man Terry pushes Rick's hair off of his ear while they were in the boy's bathroom. I about died!
- Girl Terry crawls up the stairs and her brother is following her. IT was just honestly a weird scene.
- Terry's little brother is such a horndog! His name is Buddy. He reads Penthouses for breakfast and Terry goes out on the balcony in her underwear. Thats how families operated in the 80s I guess.
- Buddy teaches Terry how to adjust man balls.
- The geek boys were really geeky. In gym class, they were both chosen last and kind of had a spaz when they had to split up into separate teams. One of the geeky boys REALLY loves animals. Mainly reptiles.
- Man Terry's reaction when the gym teacher tells her she's on the Skin team ... nice.
- Terry's BFF finds a man at another school's prom because they dont remember her when she was fat.
Anyways, solid 80s movie.
Quotes
Terry: You know, sometimes I just wish I was a guy.
Buddy: No you don't! The male body needs sex at all times! It's a living hell!
Terry: Look, maybe my balls don't itch.
Buddy: All balls itch! It's a fact!
Buddy: Don't get me wrong. It's not like I've never had sex before. I've had lots of sex. It's just that now I'd like to try it with a partner.
Buddy: I’d rather wallow in my virginity…
Terry is such a stallion. Go on Ter, show him your hairy chest.
(These quotes arent copy pasted from a website ... so they probably arent true to the movie.)
[Buddy has Penthouse pictures up on his wall. He's trying to prove to Terry that he's not a jerk]: Kim reads Vonnegut and Lauren cleans up toxic waste. And the only reason Barbara does her physics homework naked is because the library is hot!
You know what this is called ? Male bonding. Just a couple of guys in the mens' room. talking.
YUM! She made fantabulous Strawberry Shortcake.
She says the shortcake part was basically like a sweet biscuit. And I cut up the strawberries. And she asks me to pick out one of the shortcake things she made. And I did. And then she pushes me away and is like "I'll fix the rest." Who likes cooking like that? I guess if you're dedicated to a craft, you're dedicated to a craft. Who am I to argue and get in the way?
So as this deliciousness was settling, I told SBZ about some of church. And then I told her as I was leaving church, I mentioned to these 2 guys in the foyer (ie, hot mess) that we were going to watch an 80s movie about a girl pretending to be a boy. The not hot mess guy goes, "Is Hillary Swank in it?" Ummm, that's a no. I hope he wasnt thinking about Boys Dont Cry. Because A. Not a comedy. B. Not from the 80s. C. See A. I dont think Id watch Boys Dont Cry with SBZ. Nothing like seeing a transgendered Hillary Swank getting raped on a Sunday afternoon with a good friend.
Let's just hope he really meant The Next Karate Kid. (Which is from 1994 btw - thanks imdb.com).
After our food settled, we went to the Chattahoochee and walked two miles. I thought my gray shirt didnt show sweat (which is really surprising because when does gray NOT show sweat?). But after the first mile, the gray didnt disappoint. We saw a hot guy jogging. Real bouncy. When I run, its pretty slow and deliberate. So I want to punch bouncy runners in the face. But I waved to him instead. And then we saw this guy and woman with a golden retriever. And I said something funny but I cant remember anymore. But seriously the dog had a look on his face that was like, "AC, please. I have fur. It's hot." One of those three thoughts was definitely running through his mind. Im a dog whisperer, I know these things. SBZ and I talked about yoga and spin, the deeper points of life. And I sung that Mariah Carey song, "Bye bye". And we talked about old Mariah versus new Mariah. Again, the deeper points of life. We see this other guy who has clearly killed someone. Or will in the future. And we (well, I) start talking about how many calories it takes to kill someone ... depending on the assailant's physical health and the victim's physical health. SBZ thought he heard us (me), but I dont think he did. We're (I'm) still alive arent we (I)?
SBZ also made me listen to Raven Simone. I would be mad at her but our time is short.
Okay so we saw Just One of the Guys. What a typical 80s movie! The clothes. The boob shots in PG-13. The mean dumb jock guy. Rating guys by looks, then by car. It was all there. Some other points of the movie.
- Her name was Terry. What a horrible name. SBZ goes, "Pat?"
- Man Terry pushes Rick's hair off of his ear while they were in the boy's bathroom. I about died!
- Girl Terry crawls up the stairs and her brother is following her. IT was just honestly a weird scene.
- Terry's little brother is such a horndog! His name is Buddy. He reads Penthouses for breakfast and Terry goes out on the balcony in her underwear. Thats how families operated in the 80s I guess.
- Buddy teaches Terry how to adjust man balls.
- The geek boys were really geeky. In gym class, they were both chosen last and kind of had a spaz when they had to split up into separate teams. One of the geeky boys REALLY loves animals. Mainly reptiles.
- Man Terry's reaction when the gym teacher tells her she's on the Skin team ... nice.
- Terry's BFF finds a man at another school's prom because they dont remember her when she was fat.
Anyways, solid 80s movie.
Quotes
Terry: You know, sometimes I just wish I was a guy.
Buddy: No you don't! The male body needs sex at all times! It's a living hell!
Terry: Look, maybe my balls don't itch.
Buddy: All balls itch! It's a fact!
Buddy: Don't get me wrong. It's not like I've never had sex before. I've had lots of sex. It's just that now I'd like to try it with a partner.
Buddy: I’d rather wallow in my virginity…
Terry is such a stallion. Go on Ter, show him your hairy chest.
(These quotes arent copy pasted from a website ... so they probably arent true to the movie.)
[Buddy has Penthouse pictures up on his wall. He's trying to prove to Terry that he's not a jerk]: Kim reads Vonnegut and Lauren cleans up toxic waste. And the only reason Barbara does her physics homework naked is because the library is hot!
You know what this is called ? Male bonding. Just a couple of guys in the mens' room. talking.
Church part of my weekend.
Saturday
I went to the YSA conference. LAME. Except for a few parts. And one really awesome part. Oh. Don comes up to me and says "I have something for you." And I'm thinking he's going to give me something like flowers or Apples to Apples but NO. He opens up his trunk and gives me 3 plastic grocery bags full of glass bottles. Ragu sauce and stuff. What I've always wanted. I make one comment about recycling glass around him and now I'm known as the dumpster lady. In all honesty, I was really glad that he brought the glass for me to recycle for him. He's a surprising guy. Sometimes. He still has the tact of a Caterpillar Tractor at times (worst analogy ever). He danced with this Asian girl that had graduated college and he told me he was about to tell her that Asians tend to age well because she looked a lot younger than that. . . .
I also got kinda bored at the testimony meeting and I wanted to get gas sooner rather than later ... so I left the testimony meeting. I went to WalMart and just bought Apples to Apples for myself. I dont know when I'm going to be around more than 3 or 4 people to play it, but I'll have the game with me just in case now. All is well.
I saw Stone Mountain behind the WalMart and I kinda wanted to drop by but I didnt because I was by myself and Stone Mountain isnt really a by yourself type of place.
I knew that the new Hindu Mandir was closeby. So I tried to use my VZ Navigator to find it. The new Mandir is the largest in the USA and really beautiful, ornate, and marble-y. I was hoping it was open till about 9 so I could take my shoes off and drop inside for a bit. But my VZ Navigator took me somewhere that wasnt it. I ended up at this Hindu Temple that looked like the edge of a clown drum - red and yellow triangles painted on the sides. It was pretty tacky. Might be beautiful to the Hindus though. I should have searched for a Publix that was closeby. Since I remember the Publix right next to the Mandir that I wanted to go to. . . .
(I just got off the phone with my mom. I told her I went to the YSA Conference and she goes, "[in a southern accent] What? You went to the gay concert?")
Some of the guys I talked to were just insufferably, uh whats the right word?, dense? I seriously have a better time talking to myself in a mirror. Lets just hope they were nervous or maybe 13 years old that snuck into the dance.
But not all the guys were like that. I'm mainly thinking of the Clay Aiken look alike (the one that held my hand really weird and had his other hand up my armpit while we were dancing ... that one.)
Sunday
So I went to church ready to learn about Jesus. And, UHHHH!, I could hardly focus because of this hot mess of a man sitting front right of me. GEEZ. What is a girl supposed to do?
Oh, and I found out TWO MORE AWESOME PEOPLE ARE MOVING TO TX!! What is up with this MADNESS? :( Boo. Boo on TX and it's Galveston beaches.
The third speaker in church (dont remember his name) seemed not to be saying much but I felt his message. For some reason I almost teared up while he was talking. But I always do that. I am surprised when I dont bust out crying during the National Anthem sometimes.
I also talked to this girl at church named Katie. I am 90% sure she's some kind of deaf. Most of this validation came from the fact when I whispered and told her "I'll be right back" and she points to her ear and says, "I cant hear." So Im pretty sure I'm right.
I went to the YSA conference. LAME. Except for a few parts. And one really awesome part. Oh. Don comes up to me and says "I have something for you." And I'm thinking he's going to give me something like flowers or Apples to Apples but NO. He opens up his trunk and gives me 3 plastic grocery bags full of glass bottles. Ragu sauce and stuff. What I've always wanted. I make one comment about recycling glass around him and now I'm known as the dumpster lady. In all honesty, I was really glad that he brought the glass for me to recycle for him. He's a surprising guy. Sometimes. He still has the tact of a Caterpillar Tractor at times (worst analogy ever). He danced with this Asian girl that had graduated college and he told me he was about to tell her that Asians tend to age well because she looked a lot younger than that. . . .
I also got kinda bored at the testimony meeting and I wanted to get gas sooner rather than later ... so I left the testimony meeting. I went to WalMart and just bought Apples to Apples for myself. I dont know when I'm going to be around more than 3 or 4 people to play it, but I'll have the game with me just in case now. All is well.
I saw Stone Mountain behind the WalMart and I kinda wanted to drop by but I didnt because I was by myself and Stone Mountain isnt really a by yourself type of place.
I knew that the new Hindu Mandir was closeby. So I tried to use my VZ Navigator to find it. The new Mandir is the largest in the USA and really beautiful, ornate, and marble-y. I was hoping it was open till about 9 so I could take my shoes off and drop inside for a bit. But my VZ Navigator took me somewhere that wasnt it. I ended up at this Hindu Temple that looked like the edge of a clown drum - red and yellow triangles painted on the sides. It was pretty tacky. Might be beautiful to the Hindus though. I should have searched for a Publix that was closeby. Since I remember the Publix right next to the Mandir that I wanted to go to. . . .
(I just got off the phone with my mom. I told her I went to the YSA Conference and she goes, "[in a southern accent] What? You went to the gay concert?")
Some of the guys I talked to were just insufferably, uh whats the right word?, dense? I seriously have a better time talking to myself in a mirror. Lets just hope they were nervous or maybe 13 years old that snuck into the dance.
But not all the guys were like that. I'm mainly thinking of the Clay Aiken look alike (the one that held my hand really weird and had his other hand up my armpit while we were dancing ... that one.)
Sunday
So I went to church ready to learn about Jesus. And, UHHHH!, I could hardly focus because of this hot mess of a man sitting front right of me. GEEZ. What is a girl supposed to do?
Oh, and I found out TWO MORE AWESOME PEOPLE ARE MOVING TO TX!! What is up with this MADNESS? :( Boo. Boo on TX and it's Galveston beaches.
The third speaker in church (dont remember his name) seemed not to be saying much but I felt his message. For some reason I almost teared up while he was talking. But I always do that. I am surprised when I dont bust out crying during the National Anthem sometimes.
I also talked to this girl at church named Katie. I am 90% sure she's some kind of deaf. Most of this validation came from the fact when I whispered and told her "I'll be right back" and she points to her ear and says, "I cant hear." So Im pretty sure I'm right.
June 6, 2008
AWWWW!!
This guy at work (who I kinda didnt want to talk to so I pretended to be busy) was like "whatcha up to this weekend?"
and I was like "nothing just going to be poor." (which is kinda true ... but not as bad as i made it seemed).
And he walks off.
A few minutes later he comes back and throws $40 on my desk. and he has less money than me it seems (or he's just as bad at handling it or something).
i tried to give it back to him bc i dont think i will need it.
and i kinda teared up because it was so nice of him.
im just like emotional or something because im trying to be a better person and i know i will lose all of my friends (or they'll make fun of me or ridicule me for attending church - im already hearing how "stupid" i am for going from one of them). and it hurts my feelings. i dont do that to them with their decisions. why to me? and then sbz is going to be moving to tx. im going to be friendless and alone and its going to suck.
see? im getting teary eyed again.
im a fragile soul.
and I was like "nothing just going to be poor." (which is kinda true ... but not as bad as i made it seemed).
And he walks off.
A few minutes later he comes back and throws $40 on my desk. and he has less money than me it seems (or he's just as bad at handling it or something).
i tried to give it back to him bc i dont think i will need it.
and i kinda teared up because it was so nice of him.
im just like emotional or something because im trying to be a better person and i know i will lose all of my friends (or they'll make fun of me or ridicule me for attending church - im already hearing how "stupid" i am for going from one of them). and it hurts my feelings. i dont do that to them with their decisions. why to me? and then sbz is going to be moving to tx. im going to be friendless and alone and its going to suck.
see? im getting teary eyed again.
im a fragile soul.
YSA Conference?
Okay I havent been to a church dance in a really long time. So Amy wanted to go to the YSA Conference and I will definitely go with her. And now I cant get a hold of her and dont really have any plans tonight .... DO I GO? I dont know ANYONE. I mean, of course I know people. But I dont KNOW anyone. I need someone to talk to during the times when people are talking to the other people they know. JEEZ. Im not really a wall flower dont make me one now LIFE. Ugh, Im preliminarily freaking out. This is so unnecessary.
I havent SSLLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW danced in forever. Since my last church dance. (well, Ive certainly danced with guys but not in the church dance way). ANd I remember the last times not really getting asked to dance too much (I think my hair scared them off ... or maybe it was the folded arms and scowl? who knows with men they are so fickle). I've gained weight. Are they going to notice? Like through my shirt? Better wear my sweatshirt ... y'know. The thick dark blue one. In the dark, no one will be able to see me.
I wish it was all classes and no socializing. That would be fun. Kind of like school. Or institute. But without that time after Institute where you make plans to go eat hot dogs and whatnot. Man, socializing isnt like subbing. If no one volunteered, I just called on their name and made them do it. If you want to "pass out papers" in the real world of socializing, you need to move out of slow lane and do it yourself (worst analogy ever).
Maybe I should go to the mall and buy two new shirts to ease my nerves.
Yes.
I'm feeling better already.
Wait, no seriously. Do I just stand there by myself if no one is talking to me? Is that what you do? I've never been in the position where I dont know anyone that much at a church dance. shopping. shopping shopping will make it all go away.
I havent SSLLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW danced in forever. Since my last church dance. (well, Ive certainly danced with guys but not in the church dance way). ANd I remember the last times not really getting asked to dance too much (I think my hair scared them off ... or maybe it was the folded arms and scowl? who knows with men they are so fickle). I've gained weight. Are they going to notice? Like through my shirt? Better wear my sweatshirt ... y'know. The thick dark blue one. In the dark, no one will be able to see me.
I wish it was all classes and no socializing. That would be fun. Kind of like school. Or institute. But without that time after Institute where you make plans to go eat hot dogs and whatnot. Man, socializing isnt like subbing. If no one volunteered, I just called on their name and made them do it. If you want to "pass out papers" in the real world of socializing, you need to move out of slow lane and do it yourself (worst analogy ever).
Maybe I should go to the mall and buy two new shirts to ease my nerves.
Yes.
I'm feeling better already.
Wait, no seriously. Do I just stand there by myself if no one is talking to me? Is that what you do? I've never been in the position where I dont know anyone that much at a church dance. shopping. shopping shopping will make it all go away.
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