If only I had paid attention . . .

01. If you went to Hogwarts, which house would you be sorted in?


Ravenclaws.

02. Have you ever been to a Harry Potter midnight release?

Every night with me is a Harry Potter midnight release party.

03. What did you think of Deathly Hallows?

Great band.

04. How many times have you reread the books?

I read the first few. I can't remember which book I stopped at. I stopped at the one where there was a huge Quidditch match and Hermione started looking hot.
Oh wait. Im stupid. "Reread" you said? lol no.

05. Whose death was the saddest?

Dumbledore.

06. If you went to Hogwarts, would you rather have a pet owl, cat, or rat?

Cat. Preferably Julia.

07. What did you think of the movie Half-Blood Prince?

Have I seen this one? There's one I missed. Its like the Saw movies; I can't tell one from another.

08. What do you think of Deathly Hallows being split in half?

Fitting.

09. Have you read The Tales of Beedle the Bard?

No.

10. When did you first become a Harry Potter fan?

It's a state of being. You ARE a Harry Potter fan. It doesn't happen at a specific time.

Female Character? Luna.

Male Character? Severus Snape. I don't know his deal in the whole thing yet. But I know he's a good guy pretending to be bad.

Professor? Dumbledore. Does he count? He's like Albert Einstein. But gay.

Death Eater? Wow. I mean, there are just so many. Who can choose such things during times?

Magical Creature? Dragons.

Spell? Giveth a Crappeth

Quote? [going to imdb, brb] [okayyy, or MuggleNet] "I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends." Luna

Book? IDK.

Movie? Saw IV

Hogwarts House? Gryffindor

Place? The candy shop. Or shoppe.

Weasley? The mom.

Couple? Dumbledore and Hagrid. Did that happen?

Gryffindor or Slytherin? Slytherin.

Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff? Hufflepuff.

Fred or George? Who

Ginny or Luna? Luna. Ginny can go eat one for all I care.

Butterbeer or Firewhiskey? Woah woah now.

Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley? Diagon Alley.

Books or Movies? Oh, so if I say movies everyone is going to judge me? Loaded question. Not answering it.



Okay this is a long stupid survey. I tire of it . . .



Half-Blood Prince or Deathly Hallows?

Sorcerer’s Stone or Chamber of Secrets?

Snape or Slughorn?

Lupin or Sirius?

Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?

Lavender Brown or Parvati Patil?

Seamus Finnigan or Dean Thomas?

Kreacher or Dobby?

Muggleborn or Pureblood?

Dan Radcliffe or Rupert Grint?

Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy?

Voldemort or Tom Riddle?

Hedwig or Crookshanks?

Alternate Version

Rain Rain
Stay all day
Wash my pain and fears away.

Coldplay sucks.

.

Ohhh my gahhhhh you guys this was so cute!

Julia, the cat, is an outdoors cat. She just comes inside the house to eat, lay on my bed, and randomly get pissy & scratch me. When Julia and I were first acquainting ourselves to each other, she would just meow to get my attention. But over the past two months, she has learned to stand right in b/n my face and the computer. Total hooker.

Anyways. I have never seen this cat use the bathroom. But today, of all days, its completely pouring outside and I see her pawing at some dirt. And then she pops a squat. I mean, I know this shouldnt be so impressive but it just was. Here is Julia ... doing number 2 ... pouring down rain ... my headlights shining in her eyes. She knows I'm looking at her because she's staring straight back at me.

And we understand.

For future reference - the bathing suit wasnt necessary.

So its been a hot, rainy mess in GA the past few days. A lot of roads have been flooded, a lot of people have damage to their houses - not to mention they dont have flood insurance to cover it (but I've heard that GA is a not a "flood zone" so you couldnt buy flood insurance if you wanted to; these people are just screwed by the system and not of their own volition - I could be wrong).
My uncle lives (well, lived) in a trailer. Cops came to his house and they go "You need to leave". My uncle, knowing how persistent cops can be seeing how he's had a few run-ins, left as the water was pooling around his home. And a few hours later his trailer floated away.

So yes. Rainy mess.

But, there are good things that can come out of this.

My car is white and has not been washed in AGES. You might be thinking months-wise ... but I think it's been over a year since my car has been washed. Not this past summer but this past past summer. So I thought it would be a good idea to get a mop and wash my car while it was raining. That way I dont have to fool with a hose or rinsing my car off. The idea was to get a poncho and stay reasonably dry. But why bother with a poncho either? So I put on a bathing suit, shorts, and flip flops and grabbed the mop. When the mop got dirty, I went to the curb and let it sit in the rushing water. Aside from the mop, it was a green operation.

My car is still not ideally clean. There are black specks everywhere.

But enough about my car. How efficient and green am I? I mean, I feel like I could take on the logging industry right now.

#whenIwaslittle

Alternate title: Sometimes I have something to say longer than 140 characters

When I was little

I ran away from home, got to the end of the apartment complex, got scared, ran back home, realized I had locked the door, so I sat down on the front steps until my mom woke up from her nap and let me back inside the house. Crying was involved.

Good story.

Birds

Sometimes of late years I find myself thinking the most beautiful sight in the world might be the birds taking over New York after the last man has run away to the hills. I will never live to see it, of course, but I know just how it will sound because I’ve lived up high and I know the sort of watch birds keep on us. I’ve listened to sparrows tapping tentatively on the outside of air conditioners when they thought no one was listening, and I know how other birds test the vibrations that come up to them through the television aerials. ‘Is he gone?’ they ask, and the vibrations come up from below, ‘Not yet, not yet.’

Loren Eiseley

Its either going to be the birds or the insects that *make* it. Most people are betting on the insects.
However, its safe to say the polar bears dont have a shot.

Wow, I have nothing to say but you should really look at this picture

While we're on the subject, I hate Lion King.

I thought Jasmine was the first real slutty Disney princess even though Ariel was probably a bit more provocative with her barely there seashells and low rise fish tail. But I guess since Jasmine was a minority, I judged her unfairly.

This is all.

Top 5 Enemies List for week ending whenever Sunday was (ie, my A Raygun Would Be Nice Right About Now List).

1. The company that always takes my parking spot at work! I will raygun your tires the next time I see you in our spots!!!

2. That mouse that I saw scurrying around in the kitchen. I've lived here for over a year and have NEVER seen anything bigger than a bug. And then you, YOU MR MOUSE, show up when my roommate is out of town and now every time I walk through the kitchen and a shadow hits something in a mousy way, I scream.

3. The guy at bootcamp who made us do 100 burpees. That was hard! You're on my enemies list until I see the results mister.

4. Julia. She picked my $60 sweater with her claws. I would have totally raygunned her face if I had a raygun at the time.

5. My natural deoderant. It DOESNT WORK. And it scrapes my armpit bc its too earthy!

sitting in the shower, why not?

during my shower i just sat down in the tub while the shower was going. i mean, i'm not depressed or anything. there's two good reasons to do this

1. its like sitting in the rain but without water hitting your face if you dont want to. plus, you dont have to worry about changing clothes. and the *rain* is temperature controlled.

2. you know how people say they like to "think" while they run? well, same thing when sitting in your shower. its a great time to think. plus in the shower, you dont have to worry about sweating, exerting yourself like you do with running.

but sitting in the shower is still good for moments when you need to cry too. like this...

wearing black, black clothes to match my black, black heart.

Recently I started dressing nicer for work. I'm not working in the lab anymore so I dont have to worry about spilling sulfuric acid on my pants and having a hole eaten through them.

But I havent been keeping my wardrobe up to date with the up and coming "work fashions". So all I have are my church clothes. Which are not 100% fit for a work environment. And I've been finding myself wearing a lot of black. Its simple and non-frilly and slimming.

Yesterday a guy said I looked like one of those pool players.



I fail at life.

Should TLC own responsibility for thrusting Jon and Kate into immediate stardom and having their marriage fail?

WRONG, the correct answer is "who cares?"

I might want to be her

Im waiting for huge frizzy hair to come back in style.
But even if it did, I dont know if my kind of frizzy is ever cool. Hers is frizzy and curly and big everywhere. Mine is just randomly frizzy on top (ie, the flyaways) and then big on the bottom. So my head looks like a triangle. Hers is more of an "M". Or kitty cat inspired.

I also like how she's on a bike, with the boys, in some bright colors.

Yeah, I want to be her. I bet she can play the drums too.

great, now i wont be able to sleep

Every child fears under their bed. If they don’t, they fear the closet, or maybe that little crack in the almost closed door.

Scientists know that children are more perceptive, they see things adults don’t. They aren’t yet tethered into only accepting what society wants them to accept. They see what is truly there.

They see the monsters.

If you were to borrow a child’s eyes and see through them for a night, you would go insane. To be able to see what you only dimly remember, burrowing into your covers while wearing those train pajamas, hoping to a God you can barely comprehend that “it” doesn’t see you back…would drive an adult crazy. Because Adults forget the rules.

1) Cover yourself. If you can’t see it, it can’t see you. Even if it makes it harder to breathe.

2) Don’t make a noise. Every whimper can lead to destruction.

3) Don’t move. It attracts their attention.

4) Only light can make them go away. Bright light. Flashlights make it worse.

Teens are caught in the middle. They still feel what’s there, but they cannot see… and they forget the rules….

Why do you think there are so many insomniacs typing at their computers, subconsciously praying the light from their monitor will be enough to keep them away?

It’s not. Now look behind you with a child’s eyes and try not to scream.

How to fly

I, Niki, 100% stole this from someone's tumblr. But only bc I couldnt find the button to like it!

1. Sit on the back porch and contemplate your place in the world. Be loose and breathe deeply. Consider the weathering back fence in all its browns, greens and grays. Nature isn’t hurried, nor should you be. Things take time.
2. Starting at the base and working outward, preen your wings, taking pains to crush mites and lice between the nails of the thumb and forefinger. Pluck ancient or broken feathers to promote new growth.
3. Stretch. Limber up. Breathe deeply. (Now is the time when all the yoga you practiced earlier pays off. Make the lion pose. Now the serpent. Now the lotus. Relax.)
4. Leave the porch, lift your wings and grab the air. Though you may feel awkward at first, the rhythm will return as it returns to jazz musicians coming out of detox after a long winter kicking junk.
5. Once you’re gliding, forget your wings. Understand wings are illusory, and turn them loose.
6. Realize your body is an unnecessary illusion and let it return to the back porch. Soar above it.
7. All is illusion. Forget it. Let it go. Fly.

Dont read this if you're a guy

Hey so I think I've come up with a cute baby name. Florence Claire! Isnt it magnificent?!

Here are some ways to get Florence Claire's attention.
"Hey, Florence!"
"Flo!"
"Yo, Claire Bear"


Good idea. I know I'm full of them.

Checklist, please

My potential husband checklist for June 4th in the year of our Lord 2009.

- Flip flops are okay but SANDALS and CROCS are a big EW GROSS.

- Must wear a t-shirt under hoodies. People who dont wear t-shirts under hoodies send the message, "hey Im european and Im good in bed." Which translates into "I have many STDs".

- Must like to travel. Preferably with me. And not another girl ... like makeout buddies or "she's just a really hot friend, god you're so insecure!"

- Must sing better than me. (This shouldnt even be on here since everyone pretty much can sing better than I do).

- Must know more than me about cars. (Again, this is kind of redunkulous since I barely know what year my own car is & recently learned last year the difference b/n make and model).

- Must look slightly goofy while dancing at times. Guys too good at dancing are probably really good in bed and Im sure I'd disappoint so lets just stop this before it even happens.

- Athletic. Who is going to carry the kids when we go to the mall for our Saturday night dates? Those cretins are getting heavier these days!



Note: this list can change without a moment's notice including but not limited to the following: bad breath, clothing style, douchebaggery, political leanings, etc. I might like guys in Crocs tomorrow, who knows?! Life is like a barrel of fish! And that previous statement had nothing to do with the statement before it! But Im not budging on the height thing! No guy shorter than like 5'8" or something. Okayyyy, fine. 5'6" BUT IM NOT GOING ANY LOWER!

kinda want

Lookin Boy Hot Stylz Featuring Yung Joc

Blame It Jamie Foxx featuring T-Pain

Was it something I said?

I dont mean to be selfish, but I'd totally appreciate if people would stop moving away from me.

And they arent moving away to different cities. No! Its different STATES! I know. I'm scribbling their faces out in yearbooks, ward directories, journals, etc as Im typing this.

SBZ, Ashley, yes Im talking to you guys. Brian too but he kind of doesnt count since he's probably moving away because of his new roommate.

I met a famous person

Not really, but if there ever was a Kevin McCallister (Home Alone) around, I think I found him and he's 27 and lives in GA.

Kevin McCallister: Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?
Clerk: Well, I don't know. It doesn't say, hon.
Kevin McCallister: Well, could you please find out?

how do you learn these things if Chinese history isnt taught in the schools?

I invited a coworker out to eat sushi with me yesterday. And she's Chinese. And apparently she doesnt like sushi because its "Japanese". Excussssee me. How was I supposed to know they dont eat sushi in China?!

Foodie faux pas, my bad.

Does your mom know you're here? Is she hot?

I have been a hot mess these past three days.



Yeah, something like that.
If you're Mormon, pretend that says Gee Golly Crap.

I know you hear me. I can taste it in your tears. Holding my last breath. Safe inside myself. Are all my thoughts of you. Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight.

Here are two pictures from the AVP volleyball thing.





I dont know what kind of exercising the women do, but I need some of that. And a tan too. One that isnt peeling.

Tags. We need those. Seriously.

What ... a day.

I went to get my tags for my car (totally slipped my mind; i had to pay a late fee. oops). This was after I bought a new camera yesterday. Then today its like, "Oh yes, I need to spend more money that I wasnt planning on spending. Glory."

I get the Tag place. Take a number. Yes, they make you take a number. But its okay because you get to sit in chairs instead of stand in a line. Wait. Text. Bathroom. Text. Its finally my turn then the woman goes, "Do you have your emissions?" What kind of question is that? Who is stupid enough to go to the tag office without their emissi- Wait, we need to get emissions done before we get to this part? Crap.

So yeah, I had to leave the tag office, get my emissions, take a number, et cetera et cetera. This was after an hour long Drug Policy meeting at work. Not to mention on my drive back to work, I sat in traffic for an hour. What are people doing on Barrett Pkwy in Kennesaw at 230 pm. Late lunch? Early ride home? Grrr. So hardly nothing got done today. I have this list @ work of kind of important stuff to do hanging over my head until Monday. And that bugs me.

I ate pretty bad this week being my birthday and all. If I eat anymore bread or carbs, I could possibly turn into a marshmallow. Or a bag of flour. Maybe thats more appropriate.

What a stupid blog.

answerless

Q: whats one thing you recently learned that blew your mind?

I dont know! But I did read a horrible status update that made me realize I still havent conquered this whole "judgmental" problem thing I have but I'm not surprised, so consequentially, mind not blown. [talk about hypocritical. i'm sure i just wrote an impeccable example of a confusing, run-on sentence. go me.]

Someone I know on the internet has apparently "and justed eat a miffin chochlet miffien"

yay!

Blow my mind, please. Before I hit my head against the monitor and do it myself.

What have you recently learned that blew your mind? All 2 of my readers. Rise. Speak. Rawr.

GMap your Soul

One of the new blogs I've come across via twitter is SoulPancake, tagline: Chew on Life's Big questions. Cute ones like why does Christian music suck so much? Twingey questions like Is It Fair To Children To Raise Them Religious? to downright nitty gritty ones such as Mac or PC?

I will blog some of my viewpoints to their questions (with seemingly no answer). The question (or objective) for today is:


Find the location on Google Maps where your soul feels most at home.

I am not a well versed traveler and still dont quite know myself as well as I should (hopefully I'll never know myself 100% because the questions I ask are far more interesting than the ultimate truth anyways).

The past me would be all about Orlando, FL. They have Disney. And Disney has candy. What else does a city need? Roller coasters? Yeah, Orlando has those too. The teen angst-y me would be Seattle WA during the 90s. When I first spent the night at my rich friend's house in high school I was yearning to belong in Zurich but my soul was probably somewhere closer to Macon, GA. And when I discovered yoga I was sure Rishikesh, India was in my blood. And urine.

But at this moment in time, I'm feeling pretty granola. Outdoorsy. But goodness not too outdoorsy. Optimistic. If I had to choose a landscape, I'd want something grand - like mountains! Young tall mountainss! I think this would be perfectly balanced with a calm, serene lake reflecting the sky ... symbolizing how chill and adaptable and patient I can be ... reflective, ponderous (get it? "pond"er ... lake?)

My temporary answer for this question is not a city, but a lake.
Lake Lucerne in Switzerland.
complicated shape
surrounded by mountains
why not?


View Larger Map

You can play along. Or not. I dont care. Because I'm Lake Lucerne and you are Noril'sk in Northern Siberia (apparently one of the ten worst cities to live in. The smelters smoke is saturated with sulfur. The air that you breathe is filled with so much sulfur that the trees do not survive).

best laid plans.

You were supposed to leave them there.

does anyone else want to join my "Im scared but driving anyways" calling list?

There were some pretty bad storms in GA and I had to teach yoga. I got about 5/6 of the way there and had to pull over to a gas station. Like a BOSS! There was rain and hail and lightning and gnashing of teeths, etc. The rain was coming down so hard, I could barely see the line divider that I was driving beside ... much less the one a foot ahead. I hear my precious non-descript Camry getting beaten by the hail and my wipers might as well be useless even though they are going full speed. Its kind of sad when your car is doing its best but its still not good enough to get water off of the windshield. So I park in a Shell. There are cars huddled underneath the canopy covering the gas pumps. I get my hood under the strong aluminum covering but my trunk is still getting pounded. (by the way Im just joshing about the "strong aluminum" ... you remember what aluminum sounds like with rain on it dont you? well pretend its hail and see if you feel safe and secure.)

First phone call: the college where I teach yoga - are you guys still having group fitness classes? some kid: yawai as far as I know.

I still have 15 minutes to class, I'm 5 minutes away maybe this will blow over by then.

Second phone call: to the yoga contractor (I guess thats what you call her) Umm, its bad weather, I dont think I can make it to teach. She tells me to call the college if I cant make it. Then we chat about summer schedule! (Side note: I didnt know they were having summer group fitness classes! Im excited).

I dont know where the safest place to be is in a thunderstorm. I know cars are really good around lightning because of the rubber and stuff. But what about a tornado? I dont think a car can fight a tornado. Remembering back to the Planeteers and how their powers might not have been so lame after all (well, you still cant convince me about that heart kid. USELESS). Note to self: google "tornado stay in car ditch crying overpass"

Now the wind is blowing and I'm looking at the gas pumps. You know what they look like in bad weather? Bombs. Thats what. I hear a tornado siren go off and I jump out of my car and jet inside the gas station. You learn something new every day - apparently I would rather die inside a gas station than a car.

Third phone call: the college where i teach yoga - i'm the instructor, i'm not going to make it to teach. some kid: okay cool. Me: umm, is this all? do you need to tell someone? some kid: i can tell the building manager. Me: Okay you do that then.

Fourth phone call: to Mick (stepdad): hey, look at the news. Is Kennesaw going to die? Mick: not that I can tell.

Another tornado siren. This time a voice comes with it. A VOICE! When have you heard a voice attached to a tornado siren? I dont know either but it makes it sound a lot more legit. We're all wimps and back away from the big window. Some of us head to the back storage area but the attendant is like "umm, thats aluminum back there. stay here up front where the big, open window is". He didnt say that exactly but its what I heard.

A lot of bad stuff happens in movies when there's a crowd of people in a gas station. Knowing, The Mist ... seems like a lot of disaster movies have people in gas stations. I am looking around this Shell and there's a good 30 people there. And its JUST like the movies. There's an Asian, a woman that knows exactly what is going on the outside, a guy in shorts (jorts, to be precise) and a sleeveless shirt, a woman with a small baby, a guy with a mullet making comments about "well at least we got beer". I mean YOU CAN NOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

So the storm backs off and I get in my car.
5th phone call to Mick: OMG I made it out of that gas station alive. I thought for sure I was a goner when I saw that woman with the small child come in. OMG I'm shaking LOL [turning the ignition on] Mick: Niki calm down before you drive. Me: Oh yeah lol Im nervous and chatty. ... okay Im good bye.

6th phone call to Ashley: [got her voicemail] OMG ASHLEY LIKE THERE IS SO MUCH LIGHTNING NO ONE IS DRIVING IN MY LANE WHAT IS GOING ON AGHHHHH! OMG THE SKY JUST LIT UP! I SO SCARED HOLD ME! THE LIGHTNING ITS ALL AROUND ME AHHHH! I CANT SEE THE ROAD *click

7th phone call to Mick: OMG THE LIGHT IS OUT AT NORTH MARIETTA PARKWAY AND 41 STAY ON THE LINE MAKE SURE I MAKE IT INSIDE THE HOUSE OKAY AND DONT GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING OMG IM TURNING LEFT AND THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS OUT OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING DONT YOU SEE IM GOING??!! OKAY I MADE IT DIDNT DIE OMGOMG IM WALKING OUT OF MY CAR AND IM NOT DEAD LOL IM INSIDE! And then my mom talks to me and says, "Just get your iPod, close your eyes, and think happy thoughts. Stay away from windows. Oh, your bed is by a window? Well listen to your iPod in the closet or something honey okay?" Yeah okay mom bye.

Not to mention I made like two twitters. I imagined at my funeral there would be some comment like "always one for realism, niki's last words were posted on her twitter page. and i quote: omg [and he actually says oh em gee] i'm in a gas station and there's a tornado and this is like a disaster movie or something. Ppl are going to die!' .... "

mary oliver

I can not get enough of this poem. Different lines randomly pop up in my head at the oddest moments. I am reading Deepak Chopra's Soulmate (its kind of "meh" so far ... but I like it enough. There's some random well thought out points mentioned. I guess it seems full of simple, sweet ideas & thats what keeps me reading.). Someone dies in the book, so I automatically recall this line: Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. I dont really have a point to make. I just wanted to share the poem. I will probably post it over and over after I forget that I've already posted it. But Mary Oliver is a great poet and people should be required to read selected poems of hers (that I have chosen obviously) and read them repeatedly until they memorize two of them.

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

See? This is why you should come to free stuff with me.

Big Peach Running Co. in Kennesaw GA hosted a 5k tonight. We ran all throughout the Ridenour complex (which is HILLS GALORE). Why does it seem like the uphills are long and sloping and the downhills are steep and treacherous? Maybe the 400 meters or so were actually a nice, flat to downhill terrain. The race was poker themed so we all got this piece of paper and ran to different stations throughout the route to pick a card for our poker hand. At the end, we met at Keegans to see who got the best hand and to distribute out door prizes. I came in 2nd place. They had this ONE prize I really wanted (the $100 gift certificate to Big Peach) and I was hoping the 1st woman wouldnt pick it. Thank goodness she didnt; she chose the 1 month of free bootcamp (which if it costs what mine costs .... she probably got the steal of the night). But I'm extremely stoked about my gift certificate! What to buy what to buy? Another pair of shoes or a workoutfit? I really need workout clothes because most of my stuff is cotton crap from Old Navy.

And I did stop to walk during the 5k at times. I could have run more, I'm sure. But I was running with this guy I met and we chatted and knew we werent really in a big rush to knock this out the ballpark. (He actually has a half marathon in 2 months ... you can knock yourself out with that one). Plus, I have done bootcamp this morning and yesterday morning and then I did hot yoga last night (90 minutes worth), so I deserve to trot/walk during the uphills if I want to. So there.

free stuff! (oh, just for me. not for you).

So I get free stuff tonight. This woman at my old home ward (ie, church) gets clothes that other people don't want and we get to take it. I'm saving the planet! These underwears and raincoats would have just ended up in a landfill somewhere. But here I am, wearing the underwear with my jeans. And running through the rain puddles in my free slicker! Annnnd saving the planet at the same time. What has your underwear done lately?

Also, I'm finally seeing the benefits of this little thing called saving money. I think paying my car insurance this go round will not result in a stress induced, hair pulling, heart attack. Go me! I even acquired, lets see, ... wait, is that right? $2 in interest? They must mean $20. No worries, I bet their interest calculator is messed up.

I'll drop them an e-mail about that one.

feelin good

I'm about a week in with my bootcamp. And it sucks waking up @ 5 am. I went over to Virginia's this weekend and tried to watch a movie. Come 11 pm, I was KONKED out on her couch. I took a 5 hour nap and then drove home at 4 am. Any nut on the street probably thought I was swerving because it was late and I was tired. But I was swerving because it was early and I was tired. See the difference?

Okay, back to bootcamp. I'm in the "fast" group! However there are only two groups and the other group is called the "super fast" group. I wish I was kidding.

What I like about BTB Fitness is how the trainers running and burpeeing (still not quite sure about what those are) and mountain climbing with you.

We also fill out a daily food log and the instructors grade it in the morning. Checks equal high fives for everyone (in my mind, no one really high fives you - I wish they would. I need to practice mine). An "X" means you fail. For example, I got an "X" after going to a pampered chef party (party in the loosest definition of the word) and eating fruit pizza w cream cheese and tortilla chips with all kinds of dips. X means push ups.

Man, there is so much running. I've never really been a good runner or even a runner. At my best, I think I ran 6 mi without stopping one time. It could have taken me an hour. I'm positive I have a lot more slow twitch fibers than the regular person. Oh yes, did you know? I also have a long torso. That cant be good for running. Then its like my lungs know whats going to happen when my feet start moving at a certain cadence - they are like "Oh no you di'int" and my legs are like "Oh yes we di'". Then my lungs go "Oh yeah?" to which my legs go "Yeah, you heard. You want to say it to my face?". To which my lungs are done with the argument and die.

True story.

smart guy

"All dames are alike: they reach down your throat and they can grab your heart, pul it out and they throw it on the floor, step on it with their high heels, spit on it, shove it in the oven and cook the shit out of it. Then they slice it into little pieces, slam it on a hunk of toast, and serve it to you and then expect you to say, 'Thanks, honey, it was delicious.'"

Solitary Movie Confinement

Sometimes I go see movies by myself.

Here's what I do. I get to the movie about 5 minutes after it starts. The previews are just finishing up and I dont miss any of the movie. I always tend to go to the movies by myself when its really busy too. I dont know why. This is the good part. I go after everyone has found their spot. I look to find someone else by themselves and I sit next to them. See? It's perfect! Now we're both not alone. So I can pretend like we're good friends. This is best to do when the movie theater is crowded. Because if you sit next to someone when the theater is kind of empty, thats just weird. So I pretend we are silent friends. Laughing in unison but never looking at each other or talking. We'll probably be too tired to talk after the movie and we'll just go our separate ways until next time.

So I watched Knowing and the theater was just packed. I sat down next to this older gentleman who was by himself. He had a hat on. I imagined there was a feather in it too. Maybe he was a journalist or something. Real old school hollering about deadlines. Well, about 2 minutes into the movie, he scoots over a chair. Away from me! Could you imagine? Like I am weird or something. I mean, he's the older scary guy. Jeez. I must remind him of his dead daughter or something like that. It's really the only reason he would have done such a thing.

TV Watching Dilemma: SOLVED

So, as we all know, on Tuesday American Idol, The Biggest Loser and Dancing with the Stars come on about the same time. My DVR can only record 2 shows at a time. This is a problem.

Seeing how I think AI <<<<<< TBL ca. = to DWTS (translates to American Idol is much, much less than The Biggest Loser which is about equal to Dancing with the Stars ... with regards to what I enjoy). From watching the recap episode of AI and seeing 20 seconds of their songs here are my initial thoughts: Danny Gokey sucks; I'm not quite sure what the BFD is. The other big white guy seems okay. I like the girl with the tattoos. And Adam Lambert seemed cool. That blind kid sucks.

So I'm going to not record American Idol anymore on Tuesday nights. But I will record the recap episode where they vote someone off on Wednesday nights and just catch the quick recaps of their songs (because Fox will edit out the boring two minutes of the songs and just show the Mariah Carey segments). Problem solved! Who needs 3 hours of American Idol on their DVR every week anyways? The recap episodes are where you see the cheesy Ford commercials, emo Kanye, and the people cry when they get voted off. TONS OF ENTERTAINMENT.

This is my exciting midweek life.

More life notes:
I also pre-ordered Twilight. 2 Discs.
My iPod battery konked out. I cant take it to Apple because it looks really old and stolen (just like everything else I buy off Craigslist). I bought an iPod battery off of ipodjuice.com. Will update if it actually works. I mean, $39 bucks to save my 60gb iPod sure beats buying another one for $240.
Bought some Asics because I'm doing a bootcamp. It was kind of pricey. My April will be filled with waking up at 5 am and sweating and crying and getting yelled at, I'm sure. :D But hopefully I'll be looking hawt come May.

random thing i stole about how the economic crisis affects charities, movie store, and your mom

the charities suffer because you stop donating.
the movie theater and the candy store suffer because you stop spending money.
and you dont have enough money saved to pay back your mom.

you're in an economic crisis.




I found this on a twitpic. I have no clue what the context was. But I liked the the randomosity of the candy store/mom stuff.
(I personally had thought the candy stores took an economic hit during the atkins time ... I'm sure they're bummed they're always the first to suffer. Seems like candy would help you out during hard times.)

status updates suck donkey balls when they dont include me.

now, im not saying i would have gone anyways, but i hate being such a good internet spy and figuring out when people do things and dont invite me.

i dont care that you are going to see watchmen with a big crew of your folk. i dont care that you are windmill kicking snowmen in the face that you built previously. and i certainly dont care that you and your friends fell in a big, heaping pile of laughter in some leaves on saturday night.

i. dont. care.

because while you had your silly, fleeting fun - i've been writing this blog. your laughter and interaction with real people only lasted for a few hours. the internet is forever.

So there.

the Universe does not want me to get fat or drink coffee

i have this sneaking suspicion that the Universe is with me on my fight against fat and caffeine. i made a commitment to myself and the powers that be that i would say goodbye to some of my favorite things which were bad for my health. i have watched The Secret and i go to the gym and so i have a lot of positive influences in my life to prevent me from going back to my bad habits.

but, occasionally i fail at life. and in a recent post i talked allllll about my run in with the cement thingie (which happened to be at a mcdonalds ... i'm certain this was the Universe reminding me that i shouldnt have been there in the first place).

i decided to tempt fate again and just drop by for one eensy teensy bite of burger king this morning. i kid you not, if i didnt sit my burger king iced mocha on the edge of my desk and if it didnt topple over and spill all over my floor im not sitting here (umm, i might not be sitting here while you, the reader, are reading this later but youknowwhatimeandontbeanass). i cleaned up my mess [kind of] and then threw away the food.

no wonder i had such a hard time losing weight this past year. apparently i have no willpower and need acts of god to keep me from fast food.

random

so im getting a lot of compliments on my pants. little do people know that i have a hard time hiding my crack for all the world to see in these jeans. what women do for fashion ...

also, i think they should start a pool at work to see who will lose their keycard first. and everyone should throw in about 10 bucks. i, being the responsible one, should have the odds against me of losing mine. so i will tell another coworker to vote for me as the one who would lose their keycard first. then i will lose it, my coworker will win the pot, i will get $25 from my coworker for taking the fall, and they get to keep the rest of the money.

(would the story sound any different if i had already lost my keycard and the keycard costs $25 to replace?)

cat, omg

Julia, the cat, is a typical cat. She's so mean. Yet at the same time, she's like "pet me. now. thx."

She was moving her butt closer and closer to my face. And I have trouble with my complexion in the first place, and I dont think cat dook has any beneficial effects for the face with the exception of exfoliation, maybe. So I pushed her off. And she bit me and scratched my hand. After she got a few hisses at me. And then she saunters off to my feet, sits on them and starts purring.

And THEN. I have this box of shoes (bc I dont have that much room in my closet, so I chunk all my shoes in the closet). And Julia jumps in it and I guess realizes that shoes arent comfortable to lay down on. So she starts meowing. What does she want me to do? Chunk a pillow in there?

And my strawberries I'm eating. JEEZ. What cat likes strawberries? I dont think Julia does, but does that stop her from sticking her nose all up in my fraises?

I dont even have to say anything about her walking all up on my computer while I'm trying to type this.

Money Matters

Wow, its been awhile since I've blogged.

Some recent stuff that happened ....

- I was feeling really really lucky to have a steady job and stuff during the economic downturn. I even thought, "Wow, it almost feels, I dont know, 'icky' to not have horrible luck swirling around me. Where are credit card bills you cant pay when you need them?"

- I bought a Mac and a Nintendo DS Lite. Okay, well I bought the Nintendo DS Lite ... the MacBook is kind of not paid for yet.

- annnddd then i hit a cement thingie. and not even one at a gas station ... but one at Mcdonalds. I havent really told anyone I hit it at Mcdonalds because I've been complaining about my weight and I'm embarrassed that it happened there. So not only was I eating fast food even though I promised myself I wouldnt eat fast food anymore ... I was told to pull up while they were making my latte. And my other promise to myself was to lay off the diet cokes and coffees. So she brings out my latte and apparently there was a cement thingie right in front of my driver side bumper that I just revved right into.
Figures. I had asked for divine intervention to help me lose weight and lay off the caffeine. I havent had any caffeine or fast food since this disaster happened to my car. Not really the jolt I wanted to get me back on track. He works in mysterious ways. Mysterious, devastating, Camry wrecking ways.

there's a 99% chance i'm being annoying right now

i know that the smell or even mention of v8 juice really irks people. v8 is a particularly offensive drink since it A) has vegetables in it and B) looks like blood.
that being said, i think its delicious because i A) like salty stuff and B) am awesome.

so not only was i drinking the stuff today, i was totally slurping it. so much to where i was even annoying myself with the noise.

thank you and good night.

Best Miscommunication of the Week.

This weekend a girl from church had a crepe party. And I have never made one or really even knew what went inside them, so I asked Ashley because she's a little bit more cultured when it comes to food and stuff.

Niki: "I need something for my crepes"

Ashley: "MIDOL!"

Nose snuggling. Its a no.

I actually saw two people do this in an incredibly public place and it's damaging to my health. I could have ruined my eye muscles bc I almost rolled my eyes out of my head. It's true.

Mandatory New Years Resolution for 2009 post

Here's my mandatory "lose weight" statement. Its not just an empty promise though. I have intent and the means to go work out more. I also will stay away from the fast food places before work. That isnt really conducive to my long term body goals and health.

Now that ones out of the way, I have a few more.

I feel like I have become fairly spiritual but I need to actually start going to church more and become more religious. So my number 2 is to actually go to church.

I also need to become a bit more frugal and save up money the right way. I would like to pay off my yoga teacher training and pay off my MacBook this year. As well as pay for my trip to Mexico and all that!

Lastly, I need to go on more dates. So if that means going on match and prostituting myself out on the internet, so be it! I just dont like sitting and waiting for an LDS guy to ask me out. I'm worth asking out and I deserve a loving relationship and marriage.

Hope everyone's 2009 is fabulous!

Okay I had 75 Pepsi points and I just found out the Pepsi points promotion ended in the New Year. UGH 75 points, thats like 15 songs I could have gotten for free! Screw Pepsi. Screw them hard Coke deserves the coke market.

ZOMG YAY 4 ELECTRONICS!

So I got a MacBook and I just went to amazon and bought a Nintendo DS Lite (bc I sure as hell wasnt going to get it at the stores - SOLD OUT ---- Oh, I got Silver Metallic). So the one thing about growing older is that if your parents dont buy it - you can just buy it for yourself. On credit.


Okay question. How do I access the camera on the MacBook? I need to start some webcam sexual websites just kidding.