Okay so yesterday I heard Zoey barking and Im like "OMG STFU DOG". But then I go and peek out my window to see what she’s barking at.
And I see this dude peeking in our mailbox.
Normally, Id be like "whatevvvvv" because we already got our mail (but I was still kinda annoyed because I was like WHAT IF HE’S TRYING TO STEAL OUR NETFLIX??!! I like how I have no initial concern whatsoever for the government rebate checks ....). Anyways, it was just weird because it wasnt a black or mexican dude. But a tall white guy. (I know that sounds racist, but its just not the makeup of our neighborhood. It would be like seeing the Dali Llama in Beijing, it could happen, but its just not going to.). No, its this preppy ass dude looking in our mailbox and just hanging out at the end of the driveway (near MY car probably adding a tracker or cutting the brakes).
So I go outside and the guy is talking on his cellphone and says my roommate’s name and says he’ll talk to him later. (Keep in my mind that my roommate doesnt talk to preppy people). Then I realize Im blatantly staring at the guy (soooo uncouth) so I walk to my car and pretend to get something out of it (quick thinking, dick tracy!). The preppy guy saunters off to his car and drives off.
I talked to my roommate and he said that he wasnt talking to anyone at that time. I’m going to confirm this with my roommate’s cellphone call log and if my roommate doesnt have a message from this dildo that was snooping in our bu’ness, I guess I’ll report him. Or something.
I have some of his driver’s plate number and the description of his car.
Honestly, the guy was in really good shape and kinda hot. Homeland security? NSA? Maybe he’ll come back and waterboard my heart?!
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