Forgiveness via Cobb County Government

I owed like $30 and some change for not returning an encyclopedia of philosophy to my local library branch.
Apparently $0.15 a day racks up. Literally and figuratively.
So I asked to speak to the head of the library to talk about this fine. And I got this guy with a speech impediment. He gave me a mild tongue lashing and I smiled and nodded and took his rebuking with the puppy dog eyes the good Lord gave me. And then he kept talking some more and I thought, "well Im certainly paying back the universe because this guy is apparently lonely and this good deed alone is worth 50 in nice dollars." Yeah, something like that.
So 5 minutes spent with this guy saved me $30. Over an hour, that would have been a saving of $360.
The establishment cant bring me down. The Man aint got nothing over Cobb County Central Library.

Well, I took out two books and put an alarm in my phone for when I need to return them so I wont rack up a library fine of 5 bazillion dollars.

I got Lucky Jim and A Short History of Nearly Everything.

I got Lucky Jim because of these two parts

Dixon pretended to himself that he'd pick up his professor round the waist, squeeze the furry grey-blue waistcoat against him to expel the breath, run heavily with him up the steps, along the corridor to the Staff Cloakroom, and plunge the too-small feet in their capless shoes into a lavatory basin, pulling the plug once, twice, and again, stuffing the mouth with toilet paper.

Amis detailing a hangover

Dixon was alive again. Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way; not for him the slow, gracious wandering from the halls of sleep, but a summary, forcible ejection. He lay sprawled, too wicked to move, spewed up like a broken spider-crab on the tarry shingle of the morning. The light did him harm, but not as much as looking at things did; he resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again.

A Short History of Nearly Everything is exceptionally hard to put down. I only planned on reading one chapter last night and I ended up reading four. I mean, why stop at singularity when you can read about supernovas! Its really easy to read layman wise because theres no calculus in it. Calculus will definitely make a book go from hey this doesnt suck to hey this kinda sucks in 2.0 * 10^-34 seconds.

Y'herd?