Great moments in Netflix reviewing

I dont particularly like writing movie reviews but I find myself doing it anyways. Most of my reviews arent that in depth either. I'm moreso from a middle schooler perspective. Most of my Netflix reviews have more people who find them helpful than not helpful though.

Here are excerpts from two of the less well liked by Netflix ones.

River's Edge

John, this hulking tall kid, kills this girl for making fun of his mom or something. And then he shows his friends and they basically have these very lackluster reactions. No one is scared, no one freaks out, and no one even thinks its incredibly cool. Crispin Glover's character tries to hide the body. The actual murderer John doesnt seem to care if he gets caught or not. He seriously acts like a walking brick. Keanu Reeve's brother in the movie is that annoying little brother from Teen Witch ("A DOG! A DOG! A DOG!"). Crispin Glover is this schizoid freak who just drives around, tries to smoke weed, and hide that girl's body. I didnt feel for any of the characters nor did I care for their plight. I am all for the disaffected youth movies, but this was just annoying and boring to watch.

I still stand by my review. This movie sucked. Crispin Glover was a freakin SPAZ in it. And its not like Willard was that great of a movie either if we're being honest with ourselves.
Anyways, I think my review was helpful. Now 2/7 people should think its helpful. And one of those 2 is me.

The next review is from The Girl Next Door. I think people were turned off by the last part of my review. But the police should take my advice, I know a classy pedophile flick when I see it. And this movie was not it.

The Girl Next Door

I'll start off and say that I liked the sepia overtone look of the film. The beginning scene seemed kind of intriguing. That being said, if you are going to do a movie concerning this subject matter of child abuse/molestation, then you better do it well. Not only was the acting sucky (with exception of the Aunt Ruth), but the character's were extremely flat and one-sided as well. During the last scene, I could hardly understand the actors because they were mumbling. How the cop handled the situation seemed very implausible. It seemed like they tried to shock you (and you should be) but you were shocked solely from the subject matter and not from the way it was brought across the screen. I personally think this movie didnt bring to light the story of child abuse/molestation but used those to show how children could be used in a sexual way. If your husband or a male in your life really likes this movie and watches it a lot at night, do the world a favor and turn in their computer harddrive to the cops.

I wont even start with 10,000 BC. YOU CAN SEE THE CAVEWOMAN'S MASCARA IN THE MOVIE! WHAT CAVEWOMAN WORE MASCARA IN 10,000 BC??!


EDIT: looking back on the member's reviews on Netflix about The Girl Next Door ... WTF? They like it? The acting and the movie SUCKED. Along with the content, the writing sucked, the acting sucked ... *hits head on desk. I think they HAD money to make the movie, they just didnt use it very well.

"This movie is so disturbing I actually threw up." 19/26 people found this helpful? My review is WAY better.

I like this guy though ... "If you've ever thought, "I really enjoyed 'Carrie', but there just wasn't enough ABUSE!", this movie is for you." HAHA!